Vim > Status Update

26% in and no signs of intelligent life.

What I know so far is Elara is a narcissist. She thinks she's this magnanimous, understanding person who knows why people are causing her pain (because they're insecure, etc) when in reality she's the problem.

Her JM Buckler is showing.

Elara automatically hates all women she meets. She thinks there is only one kind of beauty in women. On the other hand, she instantly likes every hot guy and gets angry when they have girlfriends?

What a Karen.

This is getting harder and harder to read. Imagine a story is 1st person POV but you see quotes when the MC is alone. She's talking aloud, right? Exclamation, sure. Side comments, okay!

BUT AN ENTIRE TRAIN OF THOUGHT?

So annoying because KEEP YOUR INTERNAL MONOLOGUES INSIDE.

Too much irrelevant/over-the-top description. Lady, you do not have to tell us about the material of everything your MC touches or how she spent her entire day and every person she smiled at.

Also, stop calling your MC smart when she's being stupid as heck all the freaking time.

"How can I run if I can't move? Adrenaline. I need some motivation."

WOW

Imagine being able to motivate yourself into producing adrenaline. Either:
1. Elara is dumb af.
2. Buckler didn't research

Oh wait. Why not both???

"Snakes?" I glanced at where my feet lay, protected only by thin rubber thongs.

These MCs sure claim they're not pretty but being smart is their thing but ALL THROUGH THE BOOK, THEY'RE STUPID AF. Like YOURE SMART???

FOR A WHAT?

A COCKROACH?

"I twisted and turned, irritated with the rough polyester webbing that rubbed against my skin. Surrendering any hope of comfort, I loosened the belt and collapsed like a fallen tree onto my side."

Good god, *insert Chandler GIF* COULD THIS PROSE BE ANY PURPLER?"

"I didn't fit the mold of the bubbly, popular cheerleader or the wild, get into-mischief type either. I was just... Me. Excelling in the academics came naturally - and so did staying under the radar."

You know what else came naturally? Your being a snowflake. There is no mold, sister. Life is not a Sims game where you pick a "personality". Most of us are multifaceted and have depth.

"I giggled, observing my parents. Not only did their physical appearances differ but their personalities were the polar opposites of one another."

You know when I would be worried? If my parents' appearances didn't differ. Srsly, this could have been phrased better.