Greg’s Reviews > Infinite Jest > Status Update

Appearances are SO important: "He was so fit that his supporter's straps didn't even dent his buttocks." True or not: "Girls literally embody the idea of making yourself at home. Males, when they come in somewhere and sit down, project an air of transience..." Xenophobic or not: "The Chinese women didn't walk so much as scuttle..." Hey, I didn't write this book.

"It was the establishment of O.N.A.N. and the gerrymandering...that turned the malevolent attention of Quebec's worst post-F.L.N. insurgents south of the border..." Familiar? Then, "...and the insurgent cells of Quebec...completely lost their political shit." Thankfully, this novel isn't about politics at all. But isn't everything political? Even tennis?

HALLELUJAH! I' ve gone where no reader (of this particular volume) has gone before: past page 247! The rest of this library-owned book is in mint condition, not a page touched or turned. And what's on page 250? "Did he have film-related things with him..." when his head exploded in a microwave oven? The movie "he" made that's so addicting one watch, you're hooked forever and can do nothing BUT rewatch! Stay tuned!

About videphones vs regular phones, circa 1996: "This bilateral illusion of unilateral attention [regular dial phones] was almost infantilely gratifying...you got to believe you were receiving somebody's complete attention without having to return it." 25 years later, spot on, and hilarious. When people don't like their looks on videophones (Video-Physiognomic Dysphoria, VPD) a new industry develops: lovely masks.

The professional tennis circuit is torture. That's why I prefer ping pong.

In the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment, Ededy awaits the delivery of 200 grams of great pot and stocks up on vaseline, a new bong, and other necessities for an extended masturbation session. FOR THE LAST TIME. In a world that worships entertainment (nothing has changed since 1996), Ededy is delusional of course. There will be next times.

Has anyone read the entire specific volume (1996, First Edition, Hardback) setting on my desk? When I borrow huge, older books from the library, I study all aspects of the exterior then estimate how far average readers get. Here, it appears no one has ever turned past page 246. From pages 247 to 1079, I see not a speck of dirt, no turned down corners, nothing. No Wrinkle in Time spanning 25 years.