Sukrit’s Reviews > Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men > Status Update

Bancroft details an abuser's behavior under addiction and when faced with an imminent breakup initiated by the abused.

Unsurprisingly, alcohol and marijuana abuse does not make a man abusive (although some substances like crack cocaine may), but they do lower the barrier to entry, and enable abusers to act on their value systems while having the excuse of "being under influence" at hand.

On the uses and abuses of "sexualization of subordination", Bancroft paints a dichotomous picture of an abusive men: from the physically violent men who coerce their partners into sexual fantasies derived from a dehumanization of women through pornography, to the tender, caring men who make their partners feel valued, but only at the moment of sex, and only as a way to boost his self-confidence.

To answer the question of "Why does he do that?", we must understand the three planes on which the foundation of abuse is based:
1. The abuser's attitude, beliefs, and habits.
2. The learning process by which some boys develop into abusive men.
3. The benefits that an abuser gets that makes his behavior desirable to him.

As abuse grows, the man grows attached to his ballooning collection of comforts and privileges

Bancroft details 10 different types of abusive men, with the caveat that your abuser might not fit cleanly into one of them and may have traits of more than one.

More insidiously, almost half of the abusive personalities are not violent at all, and have a much more malevolent effect on the confidence and psyche of the abused woman.