John McNee > Status Update

"Then he started punching me, so I bit him. I tried to bite his nuts off."
"You did," the detective answered without looking up from his notepad where he was scribbling down my account of the assault.
"What?"
"The guy's nuts, you bit them completely off."

It took me a moment before I realized she'd been masturbating the entire time I'd been sucking her massive tits. Her hand was between her legs, rubbing her clit with quick, aggressive motions, as if she was punishing herself rather than pleasuring.
She sighed, then let go of the back of my head.
"Thank you," she said then turned and continued working on the slab of beef ribs she was seasoning.

Tears wept from my eyes as I struggled to keep from regurgitating all over Kenyatta's magnificent penis.

He masturbated me to orgasm as we watched 'March of the Penguins' in the back of the theater while a classroom of eight-year-olds sat up by the screen enraptured by the sound of Morgan Freeman's voice.

Between the pain in my anus and the sudden loss of oxygen, I began to panic.

(Yet to encounter a passage I feel comfortable quoting...)