Tharindu Dissanayake’s Reviews > Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes > Status Update
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 38% done
"Eating her cooking is like playing Russian roulette. I never know which meal is going to kill me."
"Reality is the only obstacle to happiness."
"I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology."
"How many of you ever started dating someone 'cause you were too lazy to commit suicide?"
— Apr 22, 2022 09:27AM
"Reality is the only obstacle to happiness."
"I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology."
"How many of you ever started dating someone 'cause you were too lazy to commit suicide?"
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Tharindu’s Previous Updates
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 89% done
"Confidence: what you start off with before you completely understand the situation."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."
"People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people."
— May 04, 2022 07:16AM
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."
"People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people."
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 68% done
"First guy: I got this bottle of brandy for my mother-in-law.
Second guy: What a great trade!"
A woman from Texas and a woman from New York meet at a party. The woman from Texas says to the woman from New York, 'Hi! Where y'all from?'
The woman from New York replies, 'Where I come from we don't end our sentences with prepositions...'
So the woman from Texas says, 'Fine! Where y'all from, bitch?' "
— May 03, 2022 08:08AM
Second guy: What a great trade!"
A woman from Texas and a woman from New York meet at a party. The woman from Texas says to the woman from New York, 'Hi! Where y'all from?'
The woman from New York replies, 'Where I come from we don't end our sentences with prepositions...'
So the woman from Texas says, 'Fine! Where y'all from, bitch?' "
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 64% done
"Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
"After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' And the husband replied, ' Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is."
— May 01, 2022 07:18AM
"After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' And the husband replied, ' Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is."
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 60% done
"A marriage license costs ten dollars down, and your income for life."
"Marriage is the only sport that requires the trapped animal to buy the license."
"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."
"If love is blind, then marriage is a real eye-opener!"
— Apr 29, 2022 08:11AM
"Marriage is the only sport that requires the trapped animal to buy the license."
"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."
"If love is blind, then marriage is a real eye-opener!"
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 55% done
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
"The wise old man pointed out that it was impossible to judge the happiness of a married couple from observation alone. 'Some couples holds hands because, if they let go, they're afraid they'd kill each other.' "
— Apr 28, 2022 07:27AM
"The wise old man pointed out that it was impossible to judge the happiness of a married couple from observation alone. 'Some couples holds hands because, if they let go, they're afraid they'd kill each other.' "
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 52% done
"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."
"First guy: I've got a big problem. I'm married to a wonderful cook, a marvelous lover, and the best-looking woman in town.
Second guy: So what's the problem?
First guy: Having more than one wife is illegal."
— Apr 27, 2022 09:17PM
"First guy: I've got a big problem. I'm married to a wonderful cook, a marvelous lover, and the best-looking woman in town.
Second guy: So what's the problem?
First guy: Having more than one wife is illegal."
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 51% done
"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."
"In Hollywood all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterward that causes all the problems."
— Apr 27, 2022 09:16PM
"In Hollywood all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterward that causes all the problems."
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 50% done
"Bigamy is having one wife two many. Monogamy is the same thing."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no use to your spouse."
"Woman to marriage counselor: 'The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.' "
— Apr 27, 2022 08:52AM
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no use to your spouse."
"Woman to marriage counselor: 'The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.' "
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 48% done
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
"A car is useless in New York; essential everywhere else. The same with good manners."
"A good listener is generally thinking about something else."
— Apr 27, 2022 08:51AM
"A car is useless in New York; essential everywhere else. The same with good manners."
"A good listener is generally thinking about something else."
Tharindu Dissanayake
is 47% done
"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it."
"How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on what kind of insurance the bulb has."
"Juries scare me. I don't want to put my fate in the hands of twelve people who weren't even smart enough to get out of jury duty."
— Apr 27, 2022 08:50AM
"How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on what kind of insurance the bulb has."
"Juries scare me. I don't want to put my fate in the hands of twelve people who weren't even smart enough to get out of jury duty."
