toastie ʚ:ɞ’s Reviews > Signs of Spring > Status Update

Lance imagines a lonely Robbie, younger than Lance is now, looking at himself in the mirror each morning. Responsible, dependable Robbie. Lance never wants him to be lonely again.

Robbie breaks their kiss to look at Lance’s face with shining eyes, and for the first time in his life, Lance sees Robbie Chase shed a few tears.

Johnny’s words echo in his head. Robbie only cries when he’s happy.

“There’s been one thing, in my whole life, that I really wanted and never dreamed I’d get.” He swallows, and his voice is a little rougher as he adds, “One person, I mean. If that wasn’t clear.”

Yet a faint worry penetrates the haze—the fear that comes from knowing that no one but Robbie has ever made him feel like this, and he’s fairly sure no one else could.

Robbie has never understood Johnny’s heart, but he thinks maybe it’s the curse of a free spirit to resent their tethers and then miss them when they’re gone. Robbie wonders where the balance lies... and if Johnny will ever find it.

Lance’s left hand is splayed over his chest, and Robbie wonders if that anchor-point is helping his ravaged heart continue to beat.