Status Update

Sam is 22% done

"I hate lying to my friends. I really do, especially Bobbi [your BFF who acts like you just met]. But what I wasn't going to say was that I did wear this outfit for Professor Foster. I felt like if I looked my best when I walked into class today, there was a chance he could forget that he hated me."
Yeah, wanting to make a good impression is pretty embarrassing. Don't admit that. Good thinking.

— Sep 12, 2022 06:24AM

7 likes · Like flag

Sam’s Previous Updates

Sam is 70% done

DNF-ing at 70%.
It would be a one-star.

— Oct 21, 2014 02:32AM

Sam is 70% done

DNF-ing at 70%.
It would be a one-star.

— Oct 21, 2014 02:31AM

Sam is 55% done

OH MY GOD.
I wasn't outstanding in any way--unless you were counting academically, but that didn't help. Not when it came to boys it didn't. That is, unless thy were into cute super-nerds that could break down their finances in two minutes flat. Try having that conversation with a boy you want to kiss. Talk about a mood-killing subject."

WHAT THE FUCK? I cannot even.

— Oct 21, 2014 02:22AM

Sam is 41% done

Oh my god.
"It seems like young ladies these days are much too independent or self-centered to bother themselves with learning how to cook," says the man who cannot cook.

When I cooked chicken parm last night, I have to tell you, I was not being selfless. How is learning how to cook anit-independent? I would argue exactly the opposite. The assumption, otherwise, is that women only cook for men.

— Oct 21, 2014 02:09AM

Sam is 34% done

What the actual fuck. Out of nowhere, day one, I loathe you but "Do you know how beautiful you are?" with erection-lap-sitting and moistening panties?

Nope, this isn't gonna work out. Like, at all.

— Oct 21, 2014 02:03AM

Sam is 27% done

Way too much time detailing your journey to change your clothes and make it to class. Pure filler that makes me wanna skim.
Poor story, you need an editor.

— Oct 21, 2014 01:58AM

Sam is 21% done

Ok, I cannot handle much more of Bobbi's commentary.

— Oct 21, 2014 01:50AM

Sam is 16% done

Obnoxious BFF, check.
But:
"If I lost my job, you'd be looking at the before picture of a very sad life. I'd be a homeless, starving student eating tuna out of a can with my fingers because I couldn't afford a fork."
That's amusing.

— Oct 21, 2014 01:45AM

Sam is 10% done

Sigh.
"...a man who looked nothing as I expected and nothing like I'd seen in real life.
He wasn't an old fart, fat or graying like most professors."

Okay, 1.) when describing a man I'm supposed to find attractive, it's best not to have the word "fart" in the paragraph.
2.) She literally just told you the new professor was young. It just happened. Like a page swipe ago.

— Oct 21, 2014 01:20AM