Nick Smith’s Reviews > The Kid Stays in the Picture > Status Update

It's my 25th birthday. Nick has just finished The Kid Stays in the Picture. Now he owns Hollywood. The sign, the people, all of it. I am unemployed. I go to Nick's office to ask him for a job. His receptionist won't let me into his office. Through the blinds on his glass door, I see him staring at me, grinning. Years later (i'm 31 now, Nick has a net worth of 8 billion) I accost Nick in a valley bar called Poopie's. I grab him by the collar demanding answers for why he abandoned me...why he wouldn't even see an old friend. Unphased, Nick just laughs. He laughs for three straight minutes, in fact. "That's Hollywood baby," he says in a calm, soft voice. I want to hit him. I want to shout. But I can't help but smile. "The kid stayed in the picture after all," i say. "The kid stays in the picture," Nick says back to me. We kiss and I leave.

I will never give you a job and I will never kiss you.