patrícia’s Reviews > If We Could Go Back > Status Update

This reread is for Kieran Marshall 🥹🥹🥹

“I don’t have to look over my shoulder anymore,” he said quietly, more serious now. But his fingers kept playing with the hair at the back of my neck. “I’m free.”
Unshackled.
[…]
“I would never go back, Kieran.”
He swallowed audibly and squeezed my neck affectionately. “Me either. Never.”

😭

“How did you move on?” […]
He half turned and furrowed his brow at me. “Huh?”
I wet my bottom lip, suddenly anxious. I shouldn’t have said anything. “You’re…just normal. You seem fine.”
At that, he let out a flat chuckle and smirked faintly. “Lifetime of practice, Ben. If I was dead inside before you, it has nothing on now.” He gave me a two-finger wave and walked down the porch”

Wrong that feels sooooo right.

So…what happens now?” I asked hesitantly.
“We live, Ben. We get through the holidays, and then we live.”

“I’ll be honest. Whatever it is, I just—I can’t go back to before we knew each other.”
“Couldn’t you?” He pinned me with an intense stare, but, at the same time, he looked so tired. Mentally, emotionally. Wrung out and tense. He wouldn’t be able to hold it very long. “More accurately, wouldn’t you? If you could go back—to before we met on the train—”
“No.” I shook my head.”

I missed my cocaine <3

“Did I tell you I’ve missed you?” he whispered into the kiss. “Life without you is just survival.”

These two kill me…. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Remember you called him my cocaine?” I asked, and she nodded. “He’s not. He’s the love of my life.”

Reread 2024

I… possibly loving it even more… the rawness… 🥺

All the feels…. This book is intense… wrongs that feel right… impossible choices…