Marci’s Reviews > My Mind's Eye > Status Update

I'm still finding some grammar issues and I'm definitely not connecting. The sexual tension between the characters needs to be addressed. Kat is still annoying me, Ryker is supposed to be sweet but I'm not seeing anything other than the tutoring to describe him as such. I wish there was more editing, there's still a lot of unnecessary info in my eyes

I was contacted by the author and sent a better edited version of the book. The grammar has improved, the commas have not, and I'm still not connecting with the character or the story.

"I was more than convinced that although he might be the hottest man I’ve ever seen, Ryker Eddison is an asshole!" - I'm officially suffering through this book. I can't even. I'm going to read up to chapter 10 and if I'm still suffering I am dnfing.

Chapter 4 and Ryker is finally introduced! I also had to do a quick check up on the word "though" it is used 48 times after a couple of sentences. I know this is not the final edit but I am super bummed bc I keep seeing that word and it's not necessary. There's no need to say though unless the sentence before was contradicting something and in 80% of the cases it isn't.

"I have insecurity and flaws just like everyone else.... "Blah

10 commas in ONE small paragraph. I can't even focus on the storyline because the grammar keeps poking me.

“I assume this is the first time you’ve put them put on, then?” - the book is still slow and the errors have made me stop a lot. I should've been done with this already.

So far I feel like all this unnecessary info on her life is boring me to death. I hope it picks up soon.

"She moves, pulling away just enough so are we now face-to-face." - UGH Grammar Also. I still don't see the point of that beginning. How is it relevant? I'm questioning the book now.. Hopefully it gets better!

Right off the bat: I don't like Kat and I think Claire is badass. Uh-Oh