Nikiverse’s Reviews > Quietly Hostile: Essays > Status Update

The box says it has three times the electrolytes and half the sugar of regular drinks, which legally makes it health food. I perform some chemistry—stir the powder in cold water until it mostly dissolves—and drink the whole thing, including the unincorporated silt at the bottom of the glass, while checking my text messages to see if anyone texted me at midnight since it’s officially my birthday. No one has.