Angela’s Reviews > Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy > Status Update
Angela
is on page 200 of 268
We can make sense of our attachment history by creating a coherent narrative of our past experiences...by putting together the story of what we went through as a child and examining how our attachment history impacts our present sense of self and our relationships... By telling the stories that have previously been unspoken, we allow ourselves to feel what has been unfelt and bring love to what has seemed unlovable.
— Oct 10, 2023 06:17AM
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Angela’s Previous Updates
Angela
is on page 199 of 268
You must be a priority in your own life. Secure attachment with yourself means being aware of your feelings and desires, as well as being able to tend to your own needs and knowing how to advocate for them in relationships.
— Oct 10, 2023 06:15AM
Angela
is on page 122 of 268
When we rely on the structure of our relationship [to forge secure attachment], we run the risk of forgetting that secure attachment is an embodied expression built upon how consistently we respond and attune to each other, not something that gets created through structure and hierarchy. Secure attachment is created through the quality of experience..., not through the notion [of a primary partner].
— Oct 08, 2023 07:21AM
Angela
is on page 108 of 268
[Lifestyle nonmonogamists] are often proud of and committed to this choice, but [it] in their case might be something that comes and goes depending on the partner or partners they are with, the phase of life they are in or their overall life circumstances. [Orientation nonmonogamists] describe [it] not as a choice, but as who they essentially are and how they are fundamentally wired.
— Oct 08, 2023 07:08AM
Angela
is on page 65 of 268
A common predicament that arises in relationships is [distancer/pursuer]... the pursuer has projected outward the parts of their self that crave autonomy and independence and that are actually afraid of truly being vulnerable... the pursuer is drawn to the distancer, who will act out these needs and fears for them so that they don't have to. They are both trying to achieve wholeness.
— Oct 08, 2023 06:31AM
