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“I have never blamed you for loving him,” he said, watching her face closely. “Everything in his life he has done with honor and purity and strength—and who would not want to be loved like that? Whereas when I love you, I know, it is desperate.” He almost winced at the word. “You cannot understand, I think, how I love you. Perhaps I have better hidden it than I thought. It is a shattering thing, Tessa. It threatens

He never lost himself so thoroughly as he did in Tessa’s arms.

After Henry’s toast came Charlotte’s, then Gideon and Sophie’s, Cecily and Gabriel’s. They praised Tessa and gently mocked Will, but it was the kind of mockery born out of love, and Will laughed as much as anyone—well, anyone save perhaps Jessamine. She was present in ghostly form, and Will could see her rocking from side to side with amusement, her blond hair drifting in an invisible breeze.

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“William Owen Herondale.” Charlotte turned to Will. “Hast thou gone among the watchmen, and in the cities of the world? Hast thou found the one thy soul loves?”
Will thought of the many restless nights he had passed wandering the streets of London, following no particular direction, seeking no particular goal. Perhaps all those nights he had truly been looking for Tessa, without ever knowing she was what he

Herondales loved but once, and he had given his heart to Tessa.

He had never thought this would happen. Not really, in the depths of his heart, where the darkest of his fears were hidden. For so long he had accepted that he would never stop loving Tessa, but that love would never come to anything. It would be hidden, perhaps to burn always with the same terrible agony, perhaps to live on as a choking vine slowly destroying his capacity to feel joy. She would be his only in dreams

He had never seen anyone, or anything, so lovely.

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He looked composed and calm, though inside, his soul breathed grief and love. Until this last year, he had never thought that the heart could hold a full measure of sorrow and happiness at the same time, and yet as he mourned Jem and loved Tessa, he felt both in equal parts. He knew she did too, and it was a comfort to the two of them to be together and share what few others had ever felt.

So that place beside Will would remain empty as he walked the floor of the cathedral. Or at least it would look empty to everyone else. To Will, it would be filled with the memory of Jem: Jem’s smile, Jem’s hand on his arm, Jem’s unwavering loyalty.