Sam’s Reviews > All I Want for Christmas Is Utahraptor > Status Update

“You’re nothing but a… a…” “A what?” “A monsterfucker.”

“Holly marveled at the feeling of fullness, how profound it was to be wrapped around this massive member as if she were wrapping paper and it was a Christmas present, the kind that was too big to fit in the back of the car so she had to drive with the trunk slightly open.”

“He licked her as if she were the only source of dietary salt within a hundred kilometres.”

“Is this okay?” Rocky whispered to her, a glorious fount of meat-breath that bathed her face in a delicate mist of saliva.”

“He’s gonna be emotional about that dick, son.”

“Thaddeus Brock Campbell III, CEO of distressed-capital specialist firm Firebridge Capital Partners, was known in the family as Big Thad. His grandfather, Thaddeus Brock Campbell Jr, was known as Bigger Thad. And his great-grandfather, Thaddeus Brock Campbell Sr, founder of Firebridge, had been known as Biggest Thad.”

“Baby got back and front.”

“She’d always loved the Christmas season, the human determination to create light in the darkest time of year. It felt like a love letter from her ancestors to the world of the living.”