Gerhard’s Reviews > Santa of the Dead > Status Update

"You’re Santa fucking Claus, and my dad. You don't need a suit. You never have and never will. You're like a superhero. Only cooler. You bring toys to kids."

While he’d been rather selfish recently, he wasn’t about to just roll over, in his vomit-covered suit, and let the world be eaten by zombies. Not on Christmas eve, and not on his watch.

... the zombies didn't seem that different from the living humans, mindless, following their money, following their stupid selfish leaders.

BEING SANTA CLAUS means you see a lot of weird shit. You are, after all, in everyone's house. And everyone wants something from you. From hypocritical Christians to fascist murdering dick holes who only really want a ‘white’ Christmas, being Santa gives you access to all of it.

It was simple. If you’re good, you get gifts. If you’re a sugarplum fuck face, you get nothing.

That special Christmas feeling was fading. Parents were too busy being stupid assholes and too many stupid, two-faced, conservative, wannabe, fascist governments lying to their people while lining their pockets at the expense of those same people they were supposed to be looking out for. He was one more moronic tweet away from shutting down Christmas for good.