Ondrej Ko’s Reviews > Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour > Status Update
Ondrej Ko
is on page 375 of 424
Funerals are the one time when humour-or at least any humour beyond that which raises a wry, sad smile would be disrespectful and out of place. Without it, we are left naked, unprotected, our social inadequa- cies exposed for all to see.
— Dec 18, 2023 02:45PM
Like flag
Ondrej’s Previous Updates
Ondrej Ko
is on page 364 of 424
"This kind of indirectness just comes naturally to us. We are accustomed to not saying what we mean: irony, self-deprecation, understatement, obliqueness, ambiguity and polite pretence are all deeply ingrained, part of being English. This peculiar mindset is inculcated at an early age, and by the time our children go to primary school, they have usually already mastered the art of the indirect boast"
— Dec 16, 2023 02:40AM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 305 of 424
Unless you fully appreciate this peculiar mindset and its implications you will never truly understand the English. Try repeating the above mantras to yourself every day for about twenty years, and you'll get the idea. Recite them in a resignedly cheerful tone, adding the odd 'mustn't grumble' or 'never mind' or 'better make the best of it', and you will be well on your way to becoming English.
— Nov 23, 2023 03:34AM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 262 of 424
Everyone is always highly surprised: "Really? You mean there are cultures where people don't believe that alcohol causes violence How extraordinary! and politely determined to let nothing shake their faith in the evil powers of the demon drink. It's like trying to explain the causes of rain to some remote mud-hut tribe in thrall to the magic of witch doctors and rain makers.
— Nov 20, 2023 03:26AM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 236 of 424
the English get great vicarious pleasure from our pets' uninhibited behaviour. We grant them all the freedoms that we deny ourselves: the most repressed and inhibited people on Earth have the most blatantly unreserved, spontaneous and badly behaved pets. Our pets are our alter egos, or perhaps even the symbolic embod- iment of what a psychotherapist would call our 'inner child'
— Nov 19, 2023 12:33PM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 235 of 424
You see, the English really are quite capable of Latin-Mediterranean warmth, enthusiasm and hospitality; we can be just as direct and approachable and emotive and tactile as any of the so-called 'contact cultures'. It is just that these qualities are only consistently expressed in our interactions with animals. Unlike our fellow Englishmen, animals are not embarrassed or put off by our un-English displays of emotion.
— Nov 19, 2023 12:27PM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 219 of 424
Restraint, inhibition, reserve, shyness, embarrassment, indirectness, hypocrisy, gritted-teeth politeness - all very English, and, you might say, not particularly surprising. But think for a minute about who these Big Brother participants are. The people who apply and audition to take part in this programme actively want to be exposed to the public gaze, twenty- four hours a day, for nine weeks, with no privacy.
— Nov 15, 2023 05:23AM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 205 of 424
The concept of compromise seems to be deeply embedded in the English psyche. Even on the rare occasions when we are roused to passionate dispute, we usually end up with a compromise. The English Civil War was fought between supporters of the monarchy and supporters of Parliament - and what did we end up with? Well, er, both. A compromise. We are not keen on dramatic change, revolutions, sudden uprisings and upheavals
— Nov 14, 2023 02:03PM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 195 of 424
"prudent and responsible?' they said. 'Why do you find this so depressing?"
My concern is that these largely commendable tendencies are also symptoms of a wider and more worrying trend: our findings indicated that young people are increasingly affected by the culture of fear, and the risk-aversion and obsession with safety that have become defining features of contemporary society.
— Nov 12, 2023 04:29AM
My concern is that these largely commendable tendencies are also symptoms of a wider and more worrying trend: our findings indicated that young people are increasingly affected by the culture of fear, and the risk-aversion and obsession with safety that have become defining features of contemporary society.
Ondrej Ko
is on page 170 of 424
When I make critical or even damning remarks about some aspect of English culture or behaviour, everyone nods gloomily in agreement, sometimes even providing supporting examples from their own experience. But praise, however mild and anxiously qualified, is always challenged: I am accused of wearing rose-tinted spectacles, and bombarded with counter- examples - everyone has some anecdote or statistic that contradict
— Nov 06, 2023 05:32AM
Ondrej Ko
is on page 169 of 424
"The English do suffer from a sort of 'nostalgia isn't what it used to be' syndrome. The belief that the country is going to the dogs, that things are not what they were, that some cherished bastion or emblem of Englishness (such as the pub, queuing, sportsmanship, the monarchy, courtesy) is dead or dying, seems to be endemic."
— Nov 06, 2023 05:30AM
Comments Showing 1-1 of 1 (1 new)
date
newest »
newest »
message 1:
by
Ondrej
(new)
-
rated it 5 stars
Dec 18, 2023 02:46PM
This is fascinating but painful to watch, like some cruel vivisectionist's animal-behaviour experiment: observing the English at funerals feels like watching turtles deprived of their shells. Denied the use of our humour reflex, we seem horribly vulnerable, as though some vital social organ has been removed which in effect it has. Humour is such an essential, hard-wired element of the English character that forbidding (or severely restricting) its use is the psychological equivalent of ampurating our toes we simply cannot function socially without humour. The English humour rules are 'rules' principally in the fourth sense of the term allowed by the Oxford English Dictionary: 'the normal or usual state of things. Like having toes. Or breathing. At funerals we are left bereft and helpless. No irony! No mockery! No teasing! No banter! No humorous understatement! No jokey wordplay or double entendres! How the hell are we supposed to communicate?
reply
|
flag
