˚⊱ Avi ⊰˚’s Reviews > Broken Flames > Status Update

Just finished chapter 4 and I'm really disappointed with the story so far..

All the characters act very juvenile despite being 23 and up. The writing and characters feel very middle grade level & everything is told to the reader instead of letting us experience the world. I am really trying to drag myself through the story to get to something interesting to see if the character interactions will hold up the story..

There's so much Fire Nation imagery in chapter 3 that I just can't ignore. I really hope the parallels to Avatar simmer down soon, as it just feels very much like a fanfiction rather than it's own story so far. I'm hopeful, but not holding my breath for too long.. Also the telling with very little showing is killing me!

Just finished chapter 2 and left with a few thoughts...

1. The reasoning for Koraine being chosen doesn't feel strong enough. Like, we don't even know what specifically her father did that would make her equal in value as a bride as the princess would be. It's giving Mulan 2 vibes, but without saving China..

2. Everything as far as social class doesn't feel very well defined. Koraine doesn't act like a noble at all

"My palms were wet with sweat, and I fiddled with one of the rings on my finger."

Finally!! Some showing rather than telling!!!

Had to pause this for a bit, but I'm back at it!

Still no attendants in chapter 2.. Shouldn't they be going in a carriage? Or at least with a small entourage? I'm really confused as is doesn't really feel like they are nobles. Based on how our main characters act, it's more like Koraine's father is war hero. They just don't seem like nobles to me...

Just finished chapter 1 and there seems to be a lot of telling rather than showing. I'm also wondering where the attendants for the noblemen are. Aren't noblemen supposed to have at least a few attendants?