Kristen’s Reviews > The Stories of Vladimir Nabokov > Status Update

Yay you're reading it again!

Don't encourage her.

Dude, do you not see from the TEN status updates above you that I've been reading this book since February of last year? I need all the encouragement I can get!

And may I remind you, that rat-bastard Ed Nemo would have raped you if I didn't stop him!

Also, I've worked up a bit of a phobia and now I'm convinced that if I ever finish this book I'll die.

Ed Nemo ruined my life. I was an enforcer before he strutted in wearing a leather cod piece/penis warmer. He made me steal the wheel from our copilot God!

Am I a murderer if I egg you on to read this?

No, I'll just start over immediately on finishing it, thus holding death off for another 2 years.

You never really liked being The Enforcer. Wheel-man fits you better, God was due for a demotion anyways.

But I saw that Netflix added Clint Eastwood's The Enforcer and I was too sad to watch it! I'm watching Girls in prison instead. Anne Heche is evil in it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhHyUI...
This is not my theme song.

Look, if want to be The Enforcer again, you totally can! Or you can be 'The Hot Chick' and Blake will be 'The Enforcer' (but he can't be the wheel man because he's a nervous driver)!

The position of 'Mr T' may be coming available soon too, Wayne is slacking off by not posting a single word/review/rating since I added him.

I'll still reserve the right to use the word "waynetastic.'

I can't be the hot chick. I can't be enforcer now. I've seen the leather. I'm wheel man. I saw Sabu's Drive years ago and I could go see the remake. And I've seen all three Transporters. That had to have been for a reason (a good one).

I'm "The Hot Chick". There's no room for change on that front.

I do have a Mr. T in your pocket key chain.

Didn't Mr T drive the van? Problem solved!

And chains beat leather! Like rock, paper, scissors.

What beats chains?

Koala claws beat chains, but leather beats koala claws.

I almost bought that pocket Mr T, should I have?

I don't have a broom, all right? The female koalas will just have to learn to protect themselves.

There's a void left to be filled when Steve Irwin died... Koala Rapist: Defender.

And yes Mr. T in your pocket has saved my life on occasion (unruly nieces).

Is that a Mr T in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Don't make me mad! (It -or he- says that.)

I pity the fool who doesn't appreciate the awesomeness of pocket Mr T.

They probably have cumbersome names and speak outside the realm of catch phrases. I'm M and I pity the fool.