Max’s Reviews > Anthropology: And a Hundred Other Stories > Status Update
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Max
is on page 74 of 208
Innocence
[…] The parrot was in the church. When the man asked whether anyone knew a reason for us not to marry, it squawked, ‘Cunt flaps.’ My bride bent double with laughter, and even though we made our vows I knew the marriage was over.
— Jul 24, 2024 11:07AM
[…] The parrot was in the church. When the man asked whether anyone knew a reason for us not to marry, it squawked, ‘Cunt flaps.’ My bride bent double with laughter, and even though we made our vows I knew the marriage was over.
Max
is on page 24 of 208
Coping
[…] When the shop’s shut, I cope by telling myself that my favourite picture of her is real. I spend my evenings at the piano, singing love songs to her photographed face, and occasionally licking the black keys because they remind me of her skin.
— Jul 21, 2024 07:52AM
[…] When the shop’s shut, I cope by telling myself that my favourite picture of her is real. I spend my evenings at the piano, singing love songs to her photographed face, and occasionally licking the black keys because they remind me of her skin.
My girlfriend cannot play the guitar. She strums slowly, erratically and woefully out of time. She sucks her lips in concentration, and sometimes stalls for as many as fifteen seconds between chord changes. When she stops playing, her eyes are bright with anticipation. ‘OK. What was that?’
‘I’m not sure. Was it Moon River?’
‘No.’ She looks disappointed. ‘It was “We Are Sailing”. You know, by Paul McCartney.’ She starts another, and I know I won’t be able to identify it, no matter how hard I try. This has been going on for seven perfect years. I hope she never learns.