mtrics’s Reviews > My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating > Status Update

The eponymous mother , to her 35yo son:

‘Pumpkin Pie. I know you aren’t a top,’ She stands up, looks me up and down and smiles to herself. ‘Anyone can tell you’re a bossy bottom.’

right there- that's where I'd have DNFed if this wasn't an ARC.
please. please give me strength