Fernanda Ramirez’s Reviews > Good Enough Parenting: A Six-Point Plan for a Stronger Relationship With Your Child > Status Update

When your rules are unclear it is hard for children to know what is breaking the rule and it makes it hard for parents to enforce the rule 100% of the time

Ex. “Show respect”

What do I do if I am not addressing all of my child’s misbehaviors? Ignoring (science backed). If your child is not in immediate danger, not hurting themselves or someone else, and not destroying property, it can help to ignore the misbehavior. Whining, tantrums, sarcasm, etc can all be ignored with little risk to your child’s growth and development. The less attention you give to them the less you’ll see them

Instead of being primed to discipline any sort of misbehavior, parents who use selective discipline move to containment (discipline) only when it matters most

By allowing and not chasing after behaviors that are not in short list of discipline parent narrow their disciplinary focus. The result is less time arguing with children every time they do something annoying or don’t do what they’re told to do.

Selective discipline is needed if parents want to maintain 4:1 positive interaction ratio with their children

Making 80% of your encounters with your child positive can be hard to think do, but a well chosen non response can be incredibly useful to parents

We help children more when we work to understand what they feel and not why they feel

Key feature of accepting is less is more

Going small and moving slowly in your effort of accepting can be more powerful.

Accepting is-

Taking time and making an effort to know children as who they really are

Believing and loving on and valuing the whole child. Not being picky about the parts you accept

Delivering a consistent message of belonging and a persistent effort to understand

Children who feel accepted have a higher tendency to share their thoughts, opinions and emotions with their parents. They are comfortable in their skin and around others