Arthur Graham’s Reviews > The Failure Cascade > Status Update
Arthur Graham
is on page 102 of 190
I feel like I’ve written this same story a dozen times: “Jon rides the subway home, spends an entire weekend in isolation, trying to get laid online and/or find some meaning in life by pursuing a hopeless hobby.” And honestly, this basically happened every week for like five years of my time in New York.
— Oct 29, 2024 04:58PM
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Arthur’s Previous Updates
Arthur Graham
is on page 189 of 190
I drove back home, thought about nuking a Hungry-Man dinner, staying up all night writing some stupid book about a UFO cult.
— Nov 11, 2024 07:04PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 186 of 190
Communism, said the farmer who gets paid by the government to plant corn and burn his crops for no reason.
— Nov 11, 2024 06:58PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 181 of 190
A long time ago I was playing some game on the PlayStation 2 — it was Medal of Honor or Soldier of Fortune or Call of Duty or Fucker of Guns or something where you had to shoot a bunch of Nazis who yelled the same six German words at you. (This was back when killing Nazis was universally acceptable, which dates me somewhat.)
— Nov 10, 2024 07:59AM
Arthur Graham
is on page 169 of 190
I lived on sweet and sour chicken back then, bought a gallon at a time from the crap takeout spot next to the Leather Daddy Safeway. I forget why we called it the Leather Daddy Safeway — I think there was a cashier who always wore assless chaps and had his significant other on a leash as he rang up groceries. I do miss those days. You won’t get that kind of service with a self-checkout line.
— Nov 07, 2024 05:37PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 161 of 190
Vice President Jeffrey L. Dahmer gave a two-hour press conference on the latest financial meltdown, although he answered no questions and gave no details on anything about the economy. Instead, he spent the first hour talking about how to fuck the stab wounds in a corpse, and the best way to cook a severed head with only a low-watt rental apartment microwave.
— Nov 07, 2024 05:26PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 155 of 190
Anyway — that hospital — I went in to take the piss test. I knew it was going to go south because instead of being owned by Kaiser or Beacon or some university, this place was operated by KFC. Awesome hospital food — you could get a bucket of chicken in your bed after major cardiac surgery, and they would even do a feeding tube of gravy. But for actual medical care, I had my doubts.
— Nov 06, 2024 08:15AM
Arthur Graham
is on page 133 of 190
Someone told me you could kill bedbugs by listening to the third Stooges album at top volume, but you had to find the pressing with the original 1973 mix that Iggy did, not the bullshit David Bowie mix that is on most copies. I knew I’d end up with an entire shelf of various versions of Raw Power, and still have an extreme parasite infestation.
— Oct 31, 2024 09:31PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 123 of 190
I managed to get home, change my pants, and live to see another day.
— Oct 30, 2024 03:54PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 104 of 190
I never do this, the meticulous planning and pitching and plotting on index cards. I always write just to write, and then later try to make it into a book, which is probably why this entire book is 99% done and I haven’t even titled it yet.
— Oct 29, 2024 09:20PM
Arthur Graham
is on page 99 of 190
I already knew this was going to fail spectacularly, but I couldn’t ignore it or walk away.
— Oct 28, 2024 01:58PM
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Oct 29, 2024 05:00PM
(cont.) And when I write any of the stories like the ones in this book, whatever you call them — microfiction or flash or gonzo fiction or whatever — the more of these I do, the more I realize I’m writing the same five or six stories over and over again. I think ten years ago, when I started thinking about the possibility of stealing Hunter Thompson’s gonzo journalism shtick and using it for fiction, it made total sense. Instead of writing autobiographical fiction or creative nonfiction and lamenting that I couldn’t write “weird” stuff, I’d use a first-person participatory story, and wrap it around a core piece of some observational opinion piece. Instead of writing about how Richard Nixon was a weirdo or publishing excruciating reviews of old Dokken records, I’d write a story about how I used to hang out with Richard Nixon and listen to Dokken records with him. And that worked, until it didn’t.
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