Phyllis *the distractible’s Reviews > Not So Friendly Intent > Status Update

It’s the second time in as many weeks that I’ve shed tears over this woman, only this time my chest feels full instead of empty.

I'm tempted to rush in and take her in my arms, but I want to watch her, too, in case I have to commit this image to memory.

Phew, the writing.

Oh, wholesome bro moment.

I’m not normally one to drink away my problems, but numb is preferable to total fucking despair, and since our season is over, I have lots of time to be numb.

…, but what he’s not getting is that support doesn’t mean making my decisions for me; it means having my back on whatever decisions I do make. That’s the kind of support I’ve offered him throughout the years.

His voice, soft and anguished, says simply, “I love you,”…

Nooooo *sobbing

“When are you coming back?” I hear the panic in my voice and wonder if she does, too. If that would change anything.“
…
“El,” I beg,…

Nooo, not the begging, soft baby T_T

“We’re not done,” I insist. “We need to talk about this.”
“You mean I need to understand your point of view?” she accuses me, and I feel myself wince because even though that’s not what I meant, it’s kind of what I want.

“You’re trying to fix it instead of letting me make it on my own, and I get why. I always run to you to when I have a problem, and that gave you the impression I needed you to fix things. But I run to you because I need you, not because I need you to take charge of my life. Not because I need you to fix things for me.”

I glance briefly down at our locked fingers and give her a gentle squeeze as I wave to the crowd. She squeezes back, and it takes all my strength not to lean over and kiss her, which would embarrass her even more. So I have to rely on these subtle touches to tell her how much it means to me that she’s here. Once again, she’s putting my needs first, because she knows I didn’t want to do this without her.