Gokce’s Reviews > The Life Impossible > Status Update

It’s so strange that we don’t want spoilers in our stories but we seek them in our lives. We want to know we will fall in love, or be healthy, or finish the degree in style, get the good job or the comfortable pension. We want the solution. We want it all mapped out. We want to know everything ends well. We want it all spoiled, with as little mystery as possible. But where is the fun in that?

The point of desperation is often the point of truth. When things are wrong, we need to reach rock bottom in order for change to happen. We sometimes need to feel trapped in order to find the way out. We don’t meet ourselves in the light and air. We don’t understand the radio when the song is playing. We sometimes need to smash the thing to see how it is made

I suppose that is one of the purposes of all reading. It helps you live lives beyond the one you are inside.

We are never at the finish line of understanding. There is always something about life and the universe that we are still to discover
That is one great thing about having someone by your side. They are a shock absorber to the madness of experience.

People say that love is rare. I am not so sure. What is rare is something even more desirable. Understanding. There is no point in being loved if you are not understood. They are simply loving an idea of you they have in their mind. They are in love with love. They are in love with their loving. To be understood. And not only that, but to be understood and appreciated once understood. That is what matters.

Being old, being a woman it was how we are conditioned to be. It is such a ridiculous thing. The way we judge our bodies, the way as we become increasingly invisible with age. we still clutch tight to that self consciousness. The way we curse the things that has kept us alive all this time. I doubt a sparrow resents its wings even when its feathers are dried and whittered.

The feeling is that of the whole world happening it squares no cubes no quatrics the now. What i mean is that travel texstracs experience. it explodes it to the fourth dimension it becomes dizzying to realize how many nows are happening all at once.

That’s the thing with grief. The way it kind of sinks you into death as well. I mean, you are still biologically functioning obviously. You are out there breathing and seeing and talking but you aren’t properly alive any more.

I wondered if i was starting a new era or if i was taking too much with me. This is the challenge of life, isn’t it? Moving forward without annihilating what has gone before. Knowing what to clasp onto and what to release without destroying yourself. Trying not to be the meteor and the dinosaur at once.

How you need to create a distinct break with what has gone before. In geology it is often after an extinction. The Mesozoic era ended with a mass death of the dinosaurs with a meteor.

There is always an unknown variable, and that unknown variable is often yourself. Embrace the mystery would be my advice. Embrace the impossibility of it all. Enjoy the not-knowing. Don’t rush to the wedding or the death or the amen.