Denis Leary > Quotes

“Racism isn’t born, folks. It’s taught. I have a 2-year-old son. Know what he hates? Naps. End of list.”
― Denis Leary

“Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe”
― Denis Leary

“Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fucking list! ”
― Dennis Lear

“Life Sucks,get a helmet”
― Denis Leary

“I eat meat because meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty dam good!”
― Denis Leary

“Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.”
― Denis Leary

“White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.”
― Denis Leary

“The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“Youth is NOT wasted on the young. That's why they can party all night and still find their cell phones in the morning.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck

“We’re better than dueling partisan didactics harping their paid way through daily CNN shoutfests. We’re better than Fox TV’s The Five, where four Republicans maul a Democrat every night in a cloud of Trumpian agitprop. We should be able to rise above such grade-school-playground bully pulpit bullshit. We could use the digiverse to unify.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches

“We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!”
― Denis Leary

“Because in the end, that's the only legacy anyone leaves behind: family. How you treated and loved your significant other bears a spiritual witness even after you've departed. And if you have children, how they are raised speaks an enduring volume about your moral backbone and beliefs. As do your closest friends and relatives. Charity also counts: To whom much is given, much is expected in return. I picked up that nugget from my parents.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck

“Let’s face it, we’ve always been great. Complicated, yes. Imperfect? You bet your ass. Btu the thing that makes us great is our striving to become perfect. Always moving forward to try to solve our problems and right our wrongs.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck

“You know it’s Ash Wednesday? Really? I just thought people suddenly decided to start putting cigarettes out on their foreheads.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid

“Like Tom Hagen said: “This is business, Sonny. Not personal.” An approach Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill were savvy enough to take back in the 1980s. Tip was the Democratic Speaker of the House and not afraid to criticize the Republican president. Reagan did the same on a daily basis to his Democratic rival. Until six o’clock in the evening. Then they’d sit down for a beer or call each other on the phone and figure out what the most important piece of work was for each side that week—and they’d find enough common ground to pass legislation that made both parties happy.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches

“His skin was so thin you could practically see his Big Mac brain stem vowing revenge. It was a joy to observe. Like a scientific experiment in pomposity.”
― Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches