Simon McHardy > Quotes

“Neil hated idiots like these two. There could be flashing lights and a wailing siren that warned the perpetually offended a movie was extreme, and still they would be drawn to it like flies to an unwashed buttplug. They’d then complain and leave a one-star review because their mummies weren’t there to cuddle them reassuringly when they got triggered. Fucktards. Utter cunts. They really deserved to die as slowly and as painfully as possible.”
― Simon McHardy, Neil

“Boy be lookin’ like an octopus dat be wearin’ glasses,” the shepherd said. “Mama ought ta have thrown him in a river.”
― Simon McHardy, Fish Head