Nancy Samalin > Quotes

“Our goal, then, is not to eliminate the feelings of anger from our parental repertoire. We couldn’t, even if we wanted to. Rather, it is to find ways to express ourselves when we are angry that do not hurt, insult, demean, or inspire revenge and rage in our children.”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“How can we express our natural feelings of anger without hurting our children or attacking their self-esteem? And, at the same time, how can we teach our children to express their own feelings of anger in ways that are helpful, not hurtful?”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“There are no miraculous responses that will make intense feelings of fear, rage, sadness, and jealousy just disappear in a cloud of smoke.”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“I suggested to Jean that she try an exercise that many people find helpful. I call it the “Bug/Brag List.” I asked her to take a sheet of paper and on one side write “Things That Bug Me About Serena.” Then, on the other side, to write “Things I Appreciate About Serena.” I thought she might be surprised at the outcome.”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wish we had.”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“Unchecked expressions of anger often lead to our making negative statements that communicate to our children that we think they are unlovable.”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“If spanking worked, we’d only have to do it once.”
― Nancy Samalin, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma

“No child ever has too much self-esteem. If you take every possible opportunity to point out what children do well, praise them descriptively for it and express appreciation, your child will become more cooperative, competent and confident.”
― Nancy Samalin, Loving Your Child Is Not Enough: Positive Discipline That Works