Gary Floyd > Quotes

“To-do list:
1. Science – stop people from getting sick and dying.
2. Keep people economically solvent – as you request their help in fighting the pandemic.

Some states do better at one. Others, at the other. None strike the right balance. Everything collapses. Utter failure.

One party is full of bad ideas that their rivals merely rubber-stamp. Like a reverse Robin Hood, they scapegoat the powerless, while simultaneously handing out checks to the richest stakeholders. The other party has few ideas, except for a few bad ones of their own that they throw into the mix. Businesses, flush with cash, appear almost embarrassed to take public money. But they soon get over their initial shame.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Eyes Open With Your Mask On

“I’ve seen the war criminal reformed because he gave the wife, of the person, who didn’t prosecute him, a mint at a funeral. I think if only Heinrich Himmler had carried Tic Tacs in his pocket all would have been forgiven. Bad paintings help humanize you even when you’re legacy rests on a pyre of bones.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“I know Jimmy believes that the company’s evaluations are meaningless. Mildred appears naïve. Employees are always surprised when they’re let go and they have no idea who to turn to. They’ve heard of Jimmy. He exists in some mythical employment realm, like the Yeti; and he’s as popular, with management, as Oscar Schindler once was with ex-Nazis. I tell Mildred that Jimmy will get back to her. For Mildred, it’s a long wait. I hang up, leaving her to the lonely world of the recently fired.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“The way it’s going…
(166 words)

A foul-mouthed Pee-wee Herman runs for president. People finally realize what a racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, and homophobic bigot he is. He’s clearly not a politician. Rather, he’s someone who speaks his mind, and that makes him relatable.

Herman runs against a faceless, forgettable career backbencher who’s been wrong on every issue for half a century, has become a multimillionaire without a legal avenue to attaining his fortune, and who you’re told you have to vote for because he’s experienced.
Last year, we were told that the politician had a lobotomy, but the alternative is even worse.

The voters will be hit with a tsunami of stomach-turning, deceptive ads and told that they have to vote for one of the two, or else they’ll be throwing away their democracy.

In four years, they’ll run Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s coat for president. No one will notice. His coat will have more integrity than all of the idiots in recent years they’ve presented to us so we can confirm them.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“The front ramp is gradually lowered, in slow electronic increments. A couple of dozen backpackers stand, inside the lower deck’s muted light, like an army of extraterrestrials. Paros is refilling with English, German, French, Italian, Scandinavian, Australian, and South African tourists. The town remains in motion. Some come. Some go. The cycle appears endless. The entire world appears to wash up on Paros.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“Friday night, under the dim atrium lights, we sit on wrought iron chairs, drinking beer in the cool antiseptic air. Near the fake flagstones snaking through the fake trees, ferns, and the bubbling, chlorine-infused, somnolent brook. Anytown USA. A fake park superimposed on the Washington swamp. Outside, oversized windows overlook the city, streaked with: rain, humidity, and tears.”
― Gary J. Floyd

“Capital sees politicians as a means to their ends, just another employee, or a potential bankable asset. And politicians, whoring themselves to the highest bidder, write their laws for a seat at the table. Some politicians aren’t directly on the take but, it’s hard to imagine, that, while on the public’s dime, they’re at least not on a job interview. Capital rewards their loyal underlings with no-show jobs for their idiot relations.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“America grows increasingly desperate and violent. Politicians will guarantee to protect you every January 6th from nebulous, rampaging, red-hatted mobs that vow to Make America Great Again.

Many Americans are willing to sacrifice their own family’s needs for those of their politicians and their families. With a defensive budget of almost 817 billion dollars, they were defeated by a mob that was led by a guy with a Water Buffalo hat. I want my money back.

The same politicians, who couldn’t protect themselves from the Buffalo-hatted shaman, now need my support. They are the same politicians giving out gobs of my money, on television, like it’s Halloween and they’ve forgotten to buy a couple trillion fun-sized Snickers bars in case those nice Ukrainian children show up once more. It would be funny if it wasn’t so incredibly sad, and pathetic.”
― Gary Floyd, This Side of Reality: How to survive this war and the next 15 to follow

“We can pass out small pistols, which will lovingly fit into the palms of their hands. It’s a compromise position because their little fingers aren’t developed enough to fully grip high-powered automatic weapons. It would also make them familiar with the gun manufacturers’ products and open up a whole new market. They can be sold in wild colors that blink, make siren noises, and say things like the gun goes boom, B…O…O…M, to help them learn to read. How about Hello Kitty revolvers or Teletubbies automatics? Maybe they can implant little guns, for the unborn, while they’re in utero.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“An Ancient Proverb Concerning the US that I Just Thought Up

A sick man with a gun still has a gun.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Eyes Open With Your Mask On

“The people at the front are young, energetic, and incredibly brave. There’s a Black girl, in her twenties, skinny as a rail, with a black kerchief over her face. The kerchief is useful in both pandemics and the fog of tear gas. She wears skinny jeans and a black T-shirt with “Black Lives Matter” on it. Some white adults are as offended by her choice of wardrobe as she is by their overall indifference. She’s opposed by much larger men, outfitted like extras in Mad Max or RoboCop. The only thing threatening about her is her mouth and her willpower.
On Facebook, the police and their family don’t even create original slogans, but instead co-opt hers by posting things like “all lives matter” and “blue lives matter.” It seems to be their way of saying that her “Black life” doesn’t matter. Whites who favor the protesters have to justify their leanings, like they’re traitors to a race war that they didn’t start and don’t believe in...

This girl is intelligent and talented, someone who should be leading this country into the twenty-first century. Instead, she’s out in the street risking her life because she dares to be dissatisfied.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Eyes Open With Your Mask On

“The girls desperately rooted for us even as we appeared to play every game uphill. They followed the hard orange ball, which, despite ping-ponging around, never left our zone, like a Plexiglas wall sealed it in. We kicked the ball forward, bounced it off our chests, headed it out of the zone. When we outplayed our opponent, we lost by a couple of goals; when we didn’t, we lost by a lot more. We had no talent.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“Almost all the real journalists are gone. Even the successful are in danger of being squashed by mainstream platforms for reasons other than their commitment to a sustainable business model. Many real journalists self-publish on Substack or put out content, free of interference, on Locals, Rumble, or Telegram. These outlets hopefully will continue to promote freedom of speech and allow the mainstream to continue promoting innocuous travel images as well as cute animal memes, providing a kitty’s smirk isn’t deemed to be too subversive that it undermines the electorate’s faith in our government or our media. Don’t ask the mainstream companies what they think of independent platforms. They lie, a lot, and you’ll probably get the answer you suspect. Replace them. All of them.”
― Gary J. Floyd, This Side of Reality: How to survive this war and the next 15 to follow

“Later, some of his supporters decide that Antifa orchestrated
the whole thing. It’s as if Antifa, probably taking advantage of a
group-discount rate at the MAGA store, suddenly show up decked out
in all this crap, I mean, merchandise, and duped the poor, pathetic
Make America Great Again crowd. Sometimes reality is an orphan in the valley of the true believers.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“We’re again in a free-fall. At this point, Jennie stops, sits on a step just inside the whitewashed walls. Below, two ocean liners, with its fiesta lights strung along the main lines, are anchored in the pitch black bay. Above the white town, Fira, twinkles suspended like a mirage.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“Who declared that these people are in the center? If you took a poll, their positions are radically out of step with those of most
Americans. Network television declares them to be the center. It doesn’t matter what you thought you saw; the media will tell you what you saw. They say nothing—which tells you everything.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“Later, Tara and other leaders, roughly the same age, lead marches through the streets. Like lambs to the slaughter, we follow. We target the banks. They’re put on notice that their day is over. It’s street theater and people who work there watch the show from windows, high above. Next, the girls lead us to the Chamber of Commerce where plainclothes ex-military protect the movers and shakers from a scattering of college girls and a collection of workers who need better jobs. They watch us through mirrored sunglasses and communicate via hidden microphones and listening devices. It’s a routine that everyone, except us, knows.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“Dusty beer bottles on both sides of the squishy steps vibrated and danced every time anyone descended down them. There were bottles on various ledges and within cases that were stacked like totem poles. The kids used a large wooden spool as a table and sat on seats torn from junk cars. They told jokes that everyone knew by heart, or stories that they could recite verbatim. The top of the spool was littered with ashtrays, full of snuffed butts, as well as empty beer
bottles, or “dead soldiers.” At the bottom of the bottles, engorged cigarette butts resembled leeches, having been drowned in a lethal cocktail of backwash and saliva. Half the cigarettes inside the ashtrays had white filters, lovingly imprinted with Gail’s pink lipstick that she’d rubbed out in the ashtray. Of late, I was smoking more, sucking on the cigarettes that I bummed off the girls. Sucking in their essence.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Barbarians in the Halls of Power

“I remember. A gunship’s crew laughing before mowing down reporters and civilians - in short bursts.

A truck crossing a shadowy bridge, seconds before it explodes along with those inside the pressroom, as the general declares the driver “the luckiest man in Bagdad.”

Our military - using attack helicopters and night scopes – to spray bullets at fleeing soldiers, like roaches running from a giant can of Raid. The pressroom laughs again. It’s not funny and there lies the rub.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Liberté: The Days of Rage 1990-2020

“The former president buzzes in. “The biggest problem we have is that America just doesn’t win anymore. Whether it’s trade deals or military actions. As your president, I’ll get America winning again. We’ll soon be back and banging beautiful broads like we used to.”

“That’s uglyaphobic, and unfair to attractively challenged Americans. I go back to Thomas Jefferson, ‘All men are created equal,’ and…while you know…you know the deal.”

“Even now, people stop me on the street and say what an awesome peacemaker I am. On day one, the Ukrainian war ends. I’ll get both leaders in a room. There’ll be tough negotiations, but they’ll be fair. There’ll be diplomatic sleepovers in Moscow and Kyiv, where no fighting will be tolerated except a robust pillow fight. Pretty soon I’ll be considered the greatest peacemaker of all time, bigger than Gandhi or the Dalai Lama. Maybe not as great as Christ, but a close second.”
― Gary Floyd, This Side of Reality: How to survive this war and the next 15 to follow

“Later that night, I drink a Peartini. Italy now has the largest death rate of any country since the pandemic began. When we return, the cruise lines announce that all operations will be suspended after we dock. I order a Corona beer. The crew, which has been so kind to us, is still unsure what’s going on. They believe they’ll be scattered across different ports or given berths on the ship. We decide to pack rather than go to the silent disco.

By the end of the cruise, movie theaters have unprecedentedly closed. President Trump says, “This is very contagious. This is a very contagious virus. It’s incredible. But it’s something we have tremendous control of.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Eyes Open With Your Mask On

“Eventually, Coleen calls. We have coffee. Coleen asks, “Why haven’t you called?”

I’m inadequate at breaking up too. I say, “I’ve been really busy.”

“Will you call later?”

“Not sure.”

Our relationship won’t end in fireworks. Instead, it’ll end in a whimper. I see myself as she does, a bad boyfriend. Coleen is frustrated, exasperated that I’ve kept her at a distance. We sip coffee. The world passes. I’m convinced that if I continue trying, one day I’ll succeed.”
― Gary J. Floyd, Eyes Open With Your Mask On