Andrea Anderson Polk > Quotes

“Our emotions are indicators, not dictators, which means we do not let our emotions govern our behavior.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“You greatest place of pain is your greatest place of power.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“You are allowed to have a voice.
You are allowed to walk away.
You are not the rescuer of every crisis.
You are allowed to disagree.
You do not need to defend yourself.
You do not need to explain every situation.
You do not need to give a reason.
You are allowed to have space.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“A sign of anxiety is ruminating on what-if questions: What if I cannot pay by bills? What if my partner leaves me? What if I get fired from my job?
What-ifs are expecting something bad to happen and imagining worse case scenarios.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Hurting people hurt people.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk

“It is not possible to grow spiritually beyond your emotional immaturity.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. Anger is a gift and serves to protect us. Setting boundaries and using your voice effectively are healthy expressions of anger.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“The key to vision is to write it down. The hand will write what the mouth cannot speak.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Jesus asked, "What do you want Me to do for you?" (Mark 10:51).

You discover your heart's desires by knowing what you really want.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“What we can name, we can heal.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Do I stay or leave the relationship?
It's not about what decision you are making; it's about the process, the steps you take of how you arrive at the decision to stay or leave and how you do it.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“There is a difference between religion and relationship.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Conviction is rooted in love. Shame is rooted in fear.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“One of the most harmful relationships we endure is the relationship we have with ourselves.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“When you learn to feel your feelings, you'll stop fearing your feelings.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“We all have relational wounds, unmet needs, rejections, abandonments, trau matic memories, and shameful experiences that are very painful and difficult to face. Strongholds preserve these pains and prevent us from receiving truth, healing, and closeness with others.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk

“Our pain contains truth. Experiencing our painful emotions provide opportunities for truth to surface.

"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32).

The original Greek word of for "know" is ginosko, which means to know the truth through personal, firsthand experience.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Perfectionism creates much suffering and is a perversion of our God-given purpose and passions. Resist the compulsion to build an empire, be the number-one thought leader and top expert in your industry, or be the best of the best in order to be successful and happy.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk

“Faith does not require understanding. Many times, we trust God only when we understand what He is doing, but whatever God is doing, it does not need to make sense to us for it to make sense to God.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“What is the purpose of therapy? Truth. And if it does not lead to freedom, it's not truth. How do I know? Jesus said so: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“People tend to abandon their purpose because their dream (career, relationship, status, wealth, ministry, business) becomes their purpose.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“What we can name we can heal.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk

“The need to control is rooted in fear.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“One of the most toxic relationships we endure is the relationship we have with ourselves. The most common yet subtle behavior I witness my clients suffer from is through the defense mechanism of "projectizing," a psychological term I coined, which is a deeper and more dangerous form of perfectionism. Projectizing = Making oneself a project that needs to be fixed. When we make ourselves a project, we disconnect from our true self because we do not know who we are or what we want, need, and feel. We are trying to fix ourselves instead. We are not a prob”
― Andrea Anderson Polk

“Perfectionism can cause you to lose touch with the people who are already in your life, perhaps within the four walls of your own home.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Other people do not have the power to control you.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Perfectionism = Your Performance = Your identity = Your worth and value”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Emotional pain is pain.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Happiness is externally focused. Joy is an internal state of being that is not dependent on our circumstances. I define joy as a
deep-seated place of abiding in our hearts and souls. Being joyful does not mean you are always happy; we can have joy during
painful situations, such as loss. Happiness is fleeting, and joy flourishes not only when things are good but also in difficult times.
Joy is rooted in our faith in God, who is bigger than our circumstances. The beautiful part about joy is that we do not have to bring it about in our strength.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior

“Self-inflicted cuckoos can also be an area of your life that begin as a passion and then slowly grow into an obsession and a crippling
perfectionism, which can become the sole source of your identity, worth, and value. As a result, you easily feel envious, resentful,
competitive, and prideful or push yourself too hard and endure dangerous levels of stress. Examples include being passionate
about a project, a ministry, or a career.
The cuckoo arises when your life becomes out of balance and your relationships, mental health, and physical health are affected.”
― Andrea Anderson Polk, The Cuckoo Syndrome: The Secret to Breaking Free from Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Thinking, and Self-Sabotaging Behavior