Lioness DeWinter > Quotes

“One of your fathers is a god. Your other Daddy only thinks that he is.”
― Lioness DeWinter, Corinthians

“Of course, I had seen him around the neighborhood, dressed head to toe in his odd, androgynous fashion, his lithe figure clad in his customary white, his gentle face painted as fair as a flower in the afternoon sun. He seemed hopelessly out of place in the cement jungle of New York City; it was as if he had stepped through time itself and ended up here by accident--a white lily in the concrete, beauty and innocence among the ruins of decadance.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“Strip naked...my two favorite words in the English language--”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“You have to be strong to be a phoenix... Otherwise, you're simply dust. Stand up, shake it off. Expand your wings. I know that it hurts, but the scars are a testimony to your strength. Stay proud, stay fierce. Never surrender.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“They arrested Matthias and me, and beat me within an inch of my immortal life. I was beyond pain...my poor body was a prison cell. Strips of flesh hung from my scourged back like macabre party favors, and Ville, one of Hana's henchmen, took great delight in rubbing salt into my wounds. What hurt the most were his words... Murderer. Liar. Faggot. Whore. Blasphemer. He took his pleasure from hurting me, and my screams were orgasmic to him. A crown of thorns was placed upon my head, and I bled as the briars pierced my flesh...I was starved, and I couldn't think straight. The morning before my crucifixion, I had no food or water. Ville beat me within an inch of my life, and his ring cut my face. I begged him to stop, and he spit on me...

All because I dared to declare myself the Son of God.

I prayed to Benediction to let Matthias remember his promise...I was so afraid of suffering...but Matty had been steadfast and true. He had given me the wine laced with belladonna, and had pierced my side to release the Godhead. As my legs were taken by the paralysis from the belladonna, he had laid me gently upon the cross and kissed me goodbye...his lips felt warm through the veil that was covering his face and protecting him from the deadly rays of the sun. The stakes were driven through my palms, then my feet...I took a last loving look at My Matty, and drew my last...

...Then Brian and Obadiah were there on either side of me in the darkness, and we were flying upwards, into the clouds...”
― Lioness DeWinter, Corinthians

“His eyes fascinated me. Many, many years later, a musical group would write a song about kaleidoscope eyes, and I would wonder if Benediction had in some way inspired it.”
― Lioness DeWinter, Corinthians

“It shouldn't even be up for discussion, in a perfect world. The rights of women should be sacrosanct. If men bore children, there would be no need for law; the right would simply exist. As a woman, I take great exception to my rights being used as a political platform by greedy and dishonest politicians to gather voters to their side. It reinforces the fact that women--in general--are viewed as lesser beings in our society.
That being said, I appreciate your thoughts on this subject, Tom. As men go, you're exceptional. I hate what most people view as feminism these days. It's become ugly and combative, and the movement has lost its focus. It's become a man vs. woman "blame game", and it has to stop before we can evolve further. To me, feminism is simply equal rights--HUMAN rights. I will always thank a guy for those lovely gestures like holding my door and helping me with my coat. I'm old-fashioned that way. However, I realize that if I want to be respected, I have to give a man something to respect. I treat him and his feelings with equal care. A lot of my "new feminist" friends hate me because I actually THINK that it's okay to be pretty, to shave my legs and under my arms, to have long hair and to smile...and I choose to keep my bra, not burn it.
Like Bukowski said, "I have little time for things for things that have no soul." That sums up our government, our politicians and their shameless manipulation of my rights as a woman. I saw my Grandmother and my Mom destroyed by the way that it was back in the good old days. I'll always be grateful for the strong and quiet femininity that they've passed on to me, and for the passionate blood in my veins manifested as a child born in the era of revolution.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I am so filled with joy to see Benediction back to his old self; I throw my arms around him as well. His arm encircles my waist, and he pulls both Brian and me close to him. It feels good to hold him, for a good friend is more vital than blood.”
― Lioness DeWinter, The Scent Of Jasmine

“You look rather thirsty," a voice says from behind me, and I turn to face Benediction de la Lucia--the Devil himself. He is a striking man; his long, orange-red hair is as bright as a tropical sunset, and his skin is like freshly-fallen snow. His large, expressive eyes hold all colors, and I feel myself being drawn into them.
"G-good evening," I stammer. "I was just looking for--"
"I know whom you seek," he purrs "although I was hoping that you would agree to spend a little time with me, first." He tucks a wad of bills into my vest pocket and drapes his arm around my shoulder.
"I would be happy to, Lord de la Lucia," I smile, grasping him around the waist. "Do you Hunger?"
His eyes glide up and down the line of my body, and I feel a strong desire to swoon.
"Always," he murmurs "and please...call me Beni'."
The room is spinning, and reality is fading fast...I press my face against his chest and strive to cling to consciousness. He sweeps me up into his arms and carries me to one of the bedrooms, where he feeds from me...and all of a sudden, he is atop me, his snow-white wings outstretched. I feel as if I will die--the pleasure and pain are so intense. I can feel myself bleeding out and being reborn, over and over upon that silken bed, every nerve of my body alive with his essence. We are almost like one, body and soul...and then he pulls back and looks down into my eyes.
"You want something," he leers at me "or is it someone?" He sniffs the air. "I can smell it on your sex, My Darling! Don't be afraid to ask, young one--that's why I came to you! Love falls under my realm, Dearest...the human heart is full of darkness, yes?"
I curse at him in Japanese and try to push him off of me, but he holds me fast.
"Don't be so rude, Darling! I only want to help you! Matthieu-Michele can't do anything for you--he's simply out of his league! He's only a young God, still finding his footing! I am older than the ages, and I know what love is! I know the agony and the ecstasy and the razor's scar that it leaves upon the heart! I know of the poison and the betrayal and the all-consuming obsession! I have ridden the crest and scrabbled in the desolate valleys! I know what you want...I know whom you love...and I can make it happen for you--for a price."
"I don't make deals with the Devil," I hiss at him from between clenched teeth...”
― Lioness DeWinter

“It is a very grand carriage indeed, and behind it, Toshiro follows on foot, leading a small donkey, with a tiny wretched figure upon it, draped in a black robe, head bowed...

Timothy.

At once, the crowd is ugly and electric...the hatred so strong, I am literally sickened by it. I turn my head and vomit.

When Timothy reaches the section of believers, they throw down rose petals and palm leaves into the street, shouting:

"THE SAVIOR! THE KING'S AMBASSADOR! HAIL TO THE KING OF HEAVEN!!!”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“I hold no illusion of why I'm here. I know what's in store for me. I know that I am to die. Timothy and I have spoken of it often in the past couple of years, and I must willingly submit to what I was meant to do, the role I was literally born to play. Now, I understand why I have always been drawn to the Bible, although it seems so contrary to my true nature...

My surname is an omen, as well: St. John. As a youth, a new gypsy boy, I had always mocked it. As a dynamic young preacher, I embraced it. Now, as I lay here, waiting for the end, I accept it for the omen that it is.”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“Life, simply for life's sake, is obscene. I'm so grateful that I live in a right-to-die state. "Keep your laws off of my body" definitely refers to more than the abortion issue. How DARE they try to make the decision for someone else?
Suicide is liberty.
For a terminally ill person, it can mean death with dignity, versus months and even years of suffering. It's not a popular view, for sure, especially regarding mental illness. However, the resulting loss of liberty, privacy and personal rights after an unsuccessful attempt is beyond cruel, in my eyes. Anyone who has spent time in an asylum can tell you that if you weren't 'crazy' going in, you'll lose your mind in there. To be talked down to like a child and patronized as a 'lesser' person takes its toll.
I have a feeling that this post may get me into trouble, but I felt as though it had to be said...”
― Lioness DeWinter

“Sometimes, I wish that I wasn't so WEIRD. My intensity is off-putting. It's a Scorpio thing. We are very focused on helping other people. It's hard to get our attention, but when you do--you have it fully, and with our whole heart. We are initially a bit overbearing, without meaning to be. We have good concentration and are constantly trying to improve ourselves. We love world culture and strive to learn about different countries. We fight like demons and love like lions (and vice-versa). We are protective of our loved ones with a ferocity unmatched. Security and family are essential to the Scorpio. We are Kerouac people. We desire everything and are often quite miserable because of it. We are both pitiful and majestic...”
― Lioness DeWinter

“My brother and I had many odd conversations while growing up. My favorite was the "I'm ME and you're YOU" contestation... We both won, and we both lost miserably.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I do love Shakespeare, but I relate more to Alexandre Dumas, Victor Hugo, C.S. Lewis. Oh, but Lewis is MAGICAL; reading Lewis is like leaving ground zero and rushing head-on into the universe a child in my heart once more, all ulcers healed and my pain a distant memory...”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I always cry when I create...and the tears manifest from both joy and pain. To capture your fellow souls in the palm of your hand and to nourish and inspire them with your heart and your spirit is one of the most potent forms of communion in this realm. Reach them, touch them...let them feel the heat of the fire inside of you. Let your very heartbeat shake their bones. THIS is life. THIS is what it's all about. Art is a religion that binds us all, and it's no respecter of persons; It's an equalizer, and inspires us all to greatness.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I lower my head into my hands and sob. Oh, but how wretched are we, the unloved. We wither like forgotten plants in the shadow, always yearning, always hungry--stretching our arms forever towards a light that is always moving farther and farther away. We cannot even reach each other, our fellow pilgrims in this sad, lonely voyage through life. I cry for both myself and for Tahji. We have both been alone for far too long.
~ from Sirèn Loa”
― Lioness DeWinter

“To a writer, quotes are like playing one's favorite music. They uplift a person and fill them with wonder and peace. They give courage and strength, and yet they can bring tears to the surface. Without the written word, I never would've survived. With the destruction of my home life and my young body, my soul grew strong. I vowed to never let myself be defeated again. I found my true self and I vowed to try to love her. Someone had to. No one hated her more than me, not even God. I will always be true to myself and no one else. I refuse to live my life for other people. As Gackt said: "If you want love, start with yourself." I embraced that ragged, broken child inside and held on to her for dear life--this child who was cursed of God--and for the first time, I saw things as they were. I saw the weak spirits of those around me: the paedophile, the coward who sacrificed her children on the altar of regular sex with her new husband--and in the ultimate act of evil, turned them against each other so that they would have no ally...and blamed them for everything that happened. It was God's punishment, she said. We deserved it. I believed her. Now, I no longer do. I am a warrior, a survivor. I make this world a better place for those who truly deserve it: the unwanted animals, the strays. Even the stray humans. We find each other, we spar and parry, comfort and nurture, show our teeth and snarl... It's a sick world.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“Indeed, everyone is seemingly smiling and laughing, except for the large group of gypsy boys, and other followers of Tim's, whom have been sectioned off from the others. Knowing full well the risk of publicly supporting Timothy's ministry, they have nonetheless very bravely come to offer moral support, and to pay their last respects.

My eyes fill with tears at their dedication and loyalty; as humble as they are, every one of them is grander than any earthly king to me...”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“I will always love Charles Bukowski. I adore the raw honesty in his work. No frills, he just said it. The best artists are gloriously naked.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I'm strong in soul and spirit despite the progression of my illness. The Bible tells me that to everything there is a season and a purpose under Heaven. I will fight for my health, because as Lioness, I can do little else. I was born a warrior, and I'll remain one forever.⚔️”
― Lioness DeWinter

“When I was in Heaven, sometimes I would sit at night and listen to your thoughts while you were in bed--"
"Aaaah!" I shriek, blushing. "You dirty hentai! Like the porn, do you?"
"I meant your thoughts while you're alone in bed," he replies with a wry smile. "After you're all done for the evening, and you're drifting off to sleep! Oh, Tahji--your soul is so lonely, although you'll never admit it. No," he smiles, holding up his hand as I open my mouth to protest "You cannot lie to the Son of God."
"You mean the Son of the Living Son of God."
He titters.
"Sounds like a horror movie.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I have many sides, and each one is as scary as the other. I'm a horrific, tragic, beautiful diamond, formed under tremendous pressure.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“...And looking back, at least we got to state our love...before our world in Orleans ended in a symphony of broken glass.
Earlier that evening, I had sat on the porch with Matthieu-Michele, as Cross and Christy watched over their Grandpa Timothy's comatose body in the back bedroom. I looked down into Timothy's face and wept. Timmy already looked dead. He was deathly pale, and his hair was heavily streaked with grey.
"Don't cry, Uncle Obadiah," Matthieu-Michele said tenderly. "Just have faith, and love Him. Believe in Him, and keep preaching His Word."
"And here I thought that you were a man of science, like your Daddy Matt."
"I cannot be both?" he smiled gently, as he took my hand and led me out on the back porch. He lowered me into a chair, and seated himself beside me. "Look at the stars," he said softly. "However could I believe in the vastness and the great wonder of the universe itself, and not in He who created it? Science and Theology go hand-in-hand; they are not polar opposites. We must remember, the Holy Bible is only a guide. God isn't just a quick-fix solution for all of our problems. He isn't a pill that we pop to make everything go away. Instead, He is a shepherd, looking out for us...loving us from a great distance and calling out to us constantly...and sometimes, things get lost in the translation. We, for example, as men, will try to weave our own selfish desires and prejudices in with His. That is the greatest sin of all, the great sin of mankind. It frightens people away from His Word and His Grace. They believe that He hates them, that it’s the voice of God condemning them, rather than the blackened hearts of the misguided men who twist His words to suit their doctrine of anger and misunderstanding. Their words are straight from the evil core of mankind, who, in their foolishness, try to take on the guise of God."
I leaned upon him heavily, the tears wet upon my cheeks.
"And to think that there were times when I wondered if I did any good at all," I sighed, "But His Word lives in your heart."
Matthieu-Michele embraced me in his wings.
"Uncle, you are a wonder!" he smiled. "Never doubt it. My father couldn't ask for a better vessel for His Word."
"I love you, Boy," I whispered. "You and Croccifixio and Christophe...we will always be family, and nothing will ever part us--"
~*~*~*~
...And it was over, just like that. It happened so quickly. The window in the front room exploded in a rain of glass, and two soldiers seized Arik. Two came for me as well, and I surrendered. Arik struggled, and was silenced with a blow to the back of the head.
Matthieu-Michele--who had been behind me--was mysteriously absent, and Cross, Christy, Morgan and Simone were nowhere in sight. Matthieu-Michele must have thrown up a psychic bubble around them, and around Timothy's body, as Arik and I were manacled and taken out into the street. A barred wagon awaited us there, and we were roughly forced into it...”
― Lioness DeWinter, Corinthians

“...But I am the most horrified at the slim young man who is upon his knees, clad in the same white trousers as I, his long, black hair framing his face like soft, shining curtains as he rests his head on his clasped, shackled hands and prays.

"Brian," I sob, my anguish causing my voice to break. "I don't want you in this place..."

He raises his head and pulls me down beside him. His sightless eyes seem to look straight into mine.

"You aren't alone anymore, Obadiah," he says gently. I weep, and take him back against me the best that I can, with my shackled wrists, and we rest against one another...two vessels ready for the last journey.

"I couldn't let you go without me, 'Baddy," he says softly. "I'd never find a love like yours again, even if I lived for a million years! There is only one you. When a person is gifted with a love like this, it should be defended at all costs..."

I weep then, for real...for this precious child, who will pay the ultimate price for loving me...how he must love me, indeed...”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“Matty, you are crazy, cuckoo, banana-crackers!”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“Blood has always been an important part of my creation process, whether it's my own or a symbolic representation of the heart of this old Voudan. Blood is always a part of birth, and what do writers do if we don't invoke the spirit upon the page? We capture souls & release them.”
― Lioness DeWinter

“I lift his chin and gaze into his face, so darkly beautiful, and I lower my mouth to his without a word...
Sometimes, there is no need for words.
It is not a romantic kiss, but a reassuring one.
"You need to let me go, Brian..."
"And you, I, Matthias," he says sadly, as I lift my head, and gaze into the eyes of Timothy, my husband, who has silently approached us on foot, sword drawn.
As I have just stated, sometimes words are unnecessary.
Timothy looks as if the weight of the entire world has fallen upon him. His eyes are wide and solemn, his face, gaunt. One solitary tear trickles down his cheek. His wings drag on the ground, the feathers filthy and dark with mud.
"Matthias, how could you?!" he whispers huskily. "You...of all people...betray me, with a...with a kiss?"
I open my mouth to protest, but no words emerge. Indeed, what can I say?”
― Lioness DeWinter, Southern Cross

“A man must follow his true nature, although a man I am not. My true being is something rougher, something deep and damp and dark as an unlit root cellar, a hole in the ground, a grave. I am a ferocious killing machine, barely held together by the deceptive skin of civilization which I show the world by day. As the Fiend below takes mad glee from imitating Heaven above, I walk the earth in the guise of a Holy man...by sunlight, anyhow. Ah, but when the moon takes me, the skin tears away--and I am golden and beautiful, my mouth deep with teeth, my throat filled with eerie song. I cry to the night sky in my hunger and my rage as I follow the call of the hunt, first on two legs, then four. My claws are as razors, churning the ground below me...and I strike...”
― Lioness DeWinter

“The world will always be an ugly place if your heart is. Love is everywhere, and things to be thankful for are everywhere. Sometimes, you just have to look a little harder, put in the effort...but it's there.”
― Lioness DeWinter