Helen Harper > Quotes

“From somewhere above me, there was an irritated hiss. ‘Food.’
I strained my head upwards. ‘Hi, Brutus.’
His yellow eyes stared down at me, unblinking. ‘Food, bitch.’
I sighed. ‘I’ve told you time and time again. If you call me that, I’m not going to feed you.’
‘Food.’
‘Give me a minute.’
‘Food.’
‘I’d like the chance to get a cup of tea first.’
‘Food.’
‘Piss off.’
‘Food.”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“I abandoned the plan to make millions from the spell when I realised that people would finally realise their cats are selfish little bastards who only care about themselves. There would have been mass feline abandonment if they heard what their pets really have to say.”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“Cleanliness is next to godliness, whatever that means. But the trouble with that sort of approach to life is that it never ends. Yes, you can take time to pick the weeds from the pavement outside and scrub your skirting board and make sure there’s no dust collecting in any evil corners but you had to keep on doing it. If I had to do it all this week and then again next week and then the week after that, why not just leave it till next month? Or preferably next year?”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“The best friends are the ones who you can be away from for months or even years, but then when you meet up again it’s like you just saw them that morning.”
― Helen Harper, Blood Politics

“I was a lone wolf.  Or at least a lone dragon anyway.  We liked to work alone.  Others would merely cramp our style.   Or steal our treasure.”
― Helen Harper, Bloodmagic

“Pet,’ Brutus repeated. ‘Bitch.’
‘Don’t be offended,’ I said. ‘He calls everyone that.’
I winked at Brutus”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day,”
― Helen Harper, Gifted Thief

“Afford me a very enjoyable view of his arse, which was a particularly tight and well-rounded specimen. He might have had a rod jammed up it but that didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate the way it was put together.”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“Memories are funny things; concentrate hard enough and you’ll start remembering”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“The only thing worse than being talked about was not being talked about.”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“Probably look like fucking Captain Hook.”
― Helen Harper

“Thank fuck,’ Brutus said. ‘We need to depart this hellhole tout suite.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“Nothing had ever hurt this much before; nothing had existed before this pain.”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“The greatest enemy of knowledge isn’t ignorance, it’s the refusal to do anything about that ignorance. That’s what we should really be afraid of. At least you’re trying.”
― Helen Harper, Brimstone Bound

“You’d think that Ivy, of all people, would understand that but she didn’t truly understand what it meant to be lazy, not like a cat did. It was an art form; it required dedication that even humans like Ivy weren’t capable of.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“If you're trying to make the point that I'm childish, thank you very much. The only reason that most adults don't do things like this is because they're too concerned about what others think. Or they're so worried about their problems they can't think about anything but themselves. Or they no longer see the wonder and joy in sliding across a floor or down a banister. I think that's sad, not immature.”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“The greatest enemy of knowledge isn’t ignorance, it’s the refusal to do anything about that ignorance.”
― Helen Harper, Brimstone Bound

“After everything that had happened, and all he’d already said and threatened me with, he was flirting. Why me?”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“There are plenty of ways to kill your mind but keep your physical body alive.”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“Life is full of impossible choices, you know that. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time. There’s hardly ever a right way and a wrong way, there’s just your way. I take the lift and you take the stairs but we still meet together at the top,”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“Never trust a man wearing slip-on shoes.”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“Solus appeared, rounding the corner.  Aubrey was hanging onto his ankles and shouting something along the lines of ‘stop it, they’re eating pizza!’.  Well,”
― Helen Harper, Blood Politics

“All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.’ ‘All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy,”
― Helen Harper, Slouch Witch

“Death is quick. It’s the end. And everyone dies. It’s not punishment because it’s inevitable.’ Bob”
― Helen Harper, Veiled Threat

“What wishes would you like? You get three, you know.’ No way was I going to fall for that trick. Anyone with a scrap of intelligence knew to steer clear of anyone offering wishes. ‘I’m good,’ I told him with a definite edge to my voice. ‘I don’t care whether you’re good or bad. What do you wish for first?’ ‘Nothing. I don’t need anything.’ ‘Hah!’ he scoffed. ‘Everyone needs something. Go on. You can tell Bob everything. I can make it happen.’ ‘No thank you,’ I said primly. He gazed at me, disappointed. ‘Why ever not?’ ‘I know how these things work,’ I told him. ‘I ask for money and the next thing I know I’m receiving compensation for having my leg chopped off in a freak accident. I’ve read the stories. Everyone’s read the stories.’ He pouted. ‘You’re no fun.”
― Helen Harper, Gifted Thief

“You’ve been reading too many fairy tales.”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“that sort of person – the person with knowledge – has already decided what the limitations of their abilities are. They don’t seek to test them or go beyond them. You see it with children, especially young ones. They don’t yet understand what’s impossible, so they push to achieve whatever they can. That’s how society progresses, by going beyond what we think we know. Because you don’t know anything, you can also go further. The possibilities are endless.”
― Helen Harper, Shrill Dusk

“There was a brief mutter from underneath the table. ‘Thank fuck,’ Brutus said. ‘We need to depart this hellhole tout suite.’ I started and looked down at him. Had I really just heard that? He blinked innocently and started to lick his paws.”
― Helen Harper, Spirit Witch

“Smoke doesn’t always equal fire.”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire

“Know thy enemy. “J,”
― Helen Harper, Bloodfire