Drew Hayes > Quotes

“Glitter is a form of anti-depressant, because it is impossible to be sad when you twinkle.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 2

“This is less of a 'the king needs a reason' thing and more of a 'the king loves burning shit and killing people' thing," Eric corrected.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“Sometimes, attaining the impossible was simply a matter of continuously putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 1

“I missed the days when I would silently judge seemingly crazy people in a park, instead of being one of them.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“I got into magic because I got into alchemy. Which I got into because I was into chemistry, which I was learning about because I wanted to get better with botany, which I had taken up studying in an effort to grow some killer weed”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“We'll loot the bodies and be on our way." "The words that start every great adventure," Gabrielle quipped sarcastically. She might have been surprised to discover how accurate that statement truly was.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“This book is dedicated to the uncool, uncoordinated, unexceptional, uncharming, uninteresting, and especially the unashamed. To everyone from the Awkwards to the Zeroes, living as the proud oddballs they are. This book is dedicated to my people.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“The truth had its place, and it was called a deathbed.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 1

“It’s curious that children can either be expert liars or utterly incapable of hiding their emotions, and the classification changes from minute to minute.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“Oh sure, everyone else charges monsters and it's brave, I do it once and I'm a madman.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“Krystal snorted out a laugh. “Hit on me? Freddy, Bubba is gay. Like really gay. Gayer than a unicorn butt-fucking a rainbow. You’re the one he has a little crush on.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“Still, I find lying to be more dangerous than expertly telling the truth, so I avoid it whenever possible.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“Humans can only toil endlessly for so long. Every now and then we need to taste the sweeter things in life, to remember why we do the work in the first place.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 2

“In Seattle there is a constant hope for a period called “two days in a row when it doesn’t fucking rain.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 1

“one dream had him chased by a giant pumpkin wielding knives, while a later dream had him chased by a giant knife wielding pumpkins. The first had been scarier, yet curiously it was the second that jerked him from his slumber.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 2

“Friday has always been the blessed child of Time. It’s admired, looked forward to, and savored with each occurrence.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 2

“And these invitations, these are already sent out?” Rich asked from the front row. “Indeed. Ever since the year a student attempted to hijack the mail truck, we’ve made it policy to only remind the students of Parents’ Weekend after all the invitations are delivered,”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 1

“Just George is fine, and I make it a point to know the names and faces of all of my students’ parents,” Coach George explained. “In case one of them tries to jump me.” “That seems a bit paranoid,” Mrs. Daniels said. “It would be paranoid if I was doing it before any such situation had occurred. After that, it’s called learning,” Coach George countered.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 1

“All of us, together, are the unlovable, the unreformable. We, the people, who are deemed incapable of existing alongside society. But, we did just that in the forming of this guild. We have done more than simply build a place to sleep and eat and plan elaborate heists. We have found a place that we, at long last, belong. All of you remember how important that feeling was the first time you truly experienced it here… This guild is more than just an organization and a council and various members. To me, from the beginning, this guild has been a family. It is a place for people like us, the ones who had no place of their own. We made it ourselves, carved out a space in the world that we could call home.”
― Drew Hayes, Forging Hephaestus

“Grumph let out a harrumph, which indicated either that he was unharmed and waiting patiently for a new opportunity to arise, or that a sparrow had shit in his porridge.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“There may come times that you will regret not just dying when you had a chance.”
― Drew Hayes, Forging Hephaestus

“Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“To put it as simply as possible, I ate a god.”
― Drew Hayes, Forging Hephaestus

“I don’t know that I believe in beauty sleep, but if you don’t leave me be, you’re going to see some ugly-awake.”
― Drew Hayes, Undeath and Taxes

“You know, you’re a pretty terrible person.” “You’re not the first to accuse me of such.” “I didn’t imagine I would be. Still, in spite of that, or maybe because of it, you’re also a really good friend.”
― Drew Hayes, Super Powereds: Year 2

“Sooner or later, they’ll realize that having one spider in the house kills a lot of the lesser insects.”
― Drew Hayes, Forging Hephaestus

“The training area was set up where the tournament would actually be held, since putting together two structures to serve the same purpose would be at the level of idiotic redundancy reserved for the highest halls of government.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“For once, the only one she had to please with her decision was herself, and the truth was, Gabrielle had been far happier as a pretend goblin, than a pretend proper lady.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“Along the way, he followed his own advice and snagged a pair of mismatched daggers from the corpses of fallen archers. They weren’t as well-made as the ones he’d taken from the dead rogue, but they had pointy ends he could stab into people and that was really all that mattered in a dagger.”
― Drew Hayes, NPCs

“Oh please don’t tell me this whole thing was just Old Man Caruthers digging for diamonds and trying to throw people off the scent,” Aether sighed. “If we unmask a Scooby Doo villain after all that destruction I’m going to be so pissed.”
― Drew Hayes, Corpies