High School Reunion Quotes

“Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“Reunions are the first day of school all over again. Time casts away familiarity and replaces it with warm confusion. Seeing how the years have frayed the friends of our youth reminds us that we too have irrevocably changed and can never return to a state of innocence again.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Are you telling me that vampires and werewolves are the reason America won the Revolutionary War?,” I asked, dumbfounded.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“You’re a good man who happens to be a vampire. We aren’t human, but that doesn’t make us monsters.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“Look, I’ll tell you what I do, but you won’t believe me.” …
“Given that I just found you bound and gagged, my mind is somewhat more receptive than it might normally be.”
“Well then, here’s the deal,” Krystal said as she sat down next to me. “Everything you think you know about monsters is a lie. Ghouls, ghosts, werewolves and more are real and hiding out behind the scenes in our world. Officially, they are known as parahumans.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

“Bruce looked at David and David asked, “Is that Harold?”
He was wearing the same Meadow Brook Basketball jacket and had only a few gray hairs left on his round head. Harold walked up to his two favorite players and exclaimed, “Give me five!” and he extended both hands and the guys lightly slapped his palms, as the other eight ex-players chuckled in the background.
The cylinders started clicking in David’s mind as Harold said, “On the other side.”
The guys lightly slapped the knuckle side of Harold’s hand as David said, “Oh, shit!”
― Phil Wohl, Five on the Other Side

“Albert died in an unfortunate accident sometime ago and was raised as a zombie by his amateur necromancer friend, Neil. Bubba was a new friend we had acquired in Vegas when helping him gain back the freedom he had previously gambled away. The fourth member of our group, a government agent and my girlfriend named Krystal, was out of town for work this week, thus I was conducting my first weekly scrabble tournament with just the three of us. Which leaves only me to be accounted for in the explanation. My name. which I hope you know by now. is Frederick Frankford Fletcher and I am a vampire, though still not the type that inspires swooning or terror.”
― Drew Hayes, The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant