Deepak Malhotra > Quotes

“What I wish is not that you pursue happiness, but that you actually find happiness. Is it possible to pursue happiness if the pursuit itself does not make you happy?”
― Deepak Malhotra

“Do not force people to choose between doing what is smart and doing what helps them save face.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“But in my experience, there is one way to signal your commitment to process that all negotiations provide: Always keep your word, even when it is costly. The best deal makers and diplomats take very seriously the promises and commitments they have made to the other side on small things and big. This is not only the right thing to do; it is a tremendously powerful instrument in deal making. Especially in difficult, protracted conflicts where negotiating itself might be seen as risky or useless, often the only source of leverage you have for bringing the other side to the table is your credibility. And once you’re at the table, mistrust is often the biggest barrier to the give-and-take necessary for progress, because many of the concessions either side commits to are not deliverable right away—promises of equitable treatment, power sharing, future benefits, etc. are necessarily premised on trust. If you have not built up a reputation for credibility, you are ill-suited to negotiate such deals.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“But progress in the current negotiation is not the only potential victim of short-termism. A myopic approach to negotiating, even if a deal is reached, can exacerbate the likelihood of future conflict, or diminish our ability to resolve it.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“You see, Max, the problem is not that the mouse is in the maze, but that the maze is in the mouse.”
― Deepak Malhotra

“Wise negotiators create a comprehensive list of what they are assuming and what they do not know prior to negotiation.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“history demonstrates quite clearly—not just in sports, but in personal relationships, business, international relations, and elsewhere—that today’s conflicts are often the result of how we conducted and concluded past negotiations. Effective”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“When you try to stop someone’s physical attack with your own physical maneuver (a block), you are pitting power against power—and the stronger party will have an advantage. But if you can sidestep the attack, you will avoid the hit, retain your balance, and remain in control of the situation.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“Instead, realizing that there is only so much that a mouse in the maze can know and understand … I resolved to get out of the maze.”
― Deepak Malhotra, I Moved Your Cheese: For Those Who Refuse to Live as Mice in Someone Else's Maze

“Investigative negotiators confront demands the same way they confront any other statement from the other party: “What can I learn from this demand? What does it tell me about the other party’s needs and interests? How can I use this information to create and capture value?”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“I don’t think we can strategize against a player that we’re unwilling to understand. We will neither fight effectively, nor negotiate successfully, if we are too blinded by fear of hatred to see what’s really going on—or to consider how the other side justifies the things they do.”
― Deepak Malhotra

“An analysis of your BATNA is critical because it allows you to calculate your reservation value (RV), or your walk-away point in the current negotiation.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“Yielding is a principle that is often discussed in the martial arts: the idea is that there can be tremendous power in going with—and perhaps redirecting—rather than resisting the energy or attack that is coming your way. Likewise, in negotiations, yielding means “going with,” and not “giving in.” Doing so effectively requires a clear and unbiased understanding of how the other side views the situation, and of the metrics they will use to evaluate ideas and options. Sometimes the best response to a deep-rooted perspective is to yield to it: understand it, adopt it, and repurpose it to advance your position.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the impossible: how to break deadlocks and resolve ugly conflicts

“relaciones durante los decenios previos. Algunos vendedores, asimismo, se desentienden de los clientes una vez que está firmado el acuerdo (o cuando fracasa ),”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negociar lo imposible: Cómo destrabar y resolver conflictos difíciles (sin dinero ni fuerza) (Gestión del conocimiento)

“Imagine that you are on the street and someone attacks you. If you feel that you must fight back to defend yourself, you might instinctively make a fist and punch at the attacker’s head. In the heat of the moment, you might try to do this over and over again, using one instrument against one target. While natural, this may not be the most effective approach, especially against a competent attacker. Rather, you want to “work the whole body.” Instead of focusing narrowly on one target, or using only one method of attack, more experienced fighters will consider all of their instruments (two hands, two feet, knees, elbows, nearby items that can be used for defense, and so on) and evaluate all potential areas that could be targeted.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the impossible: how to break deadlocks and resolve ugly conflicts

“Is it possible to pursue happiness if the pursuit itself does not make you happy?”
― Deepak Malhotra, I Moved Your Cheese: For Those Who Refuse to Live as Mice in Someone Else's Maze

“Know-It-Alls control people and events by dominating the conversation with lengthy, imperious arguments, and they eliminate opposition by finding flaws and weaknesses to discredit other points of view. Because Know-It-Alls are actually knowledgeable and competent,”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the impossible: how to break deadlocks and resolve ugly conflicts

“STRATEGY 4: REFUSE TO ANSWER CERTAIN QUESTIONS. You do not need to answer every question that your counterpart asks. If he asks you to reveal your reservation value, for example, you should not feel compelled to answer. Suppose that the other party asks, “What’s the lowest price you will accept for this shipment?” One way to respond, and to defuse the awkward moment with humor, is to say: “I think you already know the answer—it happens to be the most you are willing to pay for it!” More generally, it is often acceptable to respond to a question that you do not wish to answer with one of the following remarks: • “This is a discussion that we can have later on, once we have both committed to the deal. I don’t feel comfortable divulging this information at the moment.” • “As you undoubtedly understand, we cannot share that information for strategic reasons.” • “The answer to your question depends on many other factors that we need to discuss.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“If you feel uncomfortable about refusing to answer a direct question, you can mitigate your unease by offering to answer a different, related question. Here, the idea is to be up front about your inability or unwillingness to respond to the specific question, then to offer a concession by providing other useful information.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“By considering the context of the negotiation, the relationships involved, and your alternatives away from the table, you will become adept at identifying when to negotiate, when to accept a deal without negotiating, and when to simply walk away.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond

“Instead, the key is to focus on the principles. The principles are fewer and are broadly applicable. These include many of the ideas we have considered throughout the book—for example: control the frame, be mindful of the optics, help the other side save face, have a process strategy, negotiate process before substance, normalize the process, lower the bar for progress, stay at the table, empathize, create slack, work the whole body, map out the negotiation space, seek greater understanding, create value, and so on.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts