Lance Carbuncle > Quotes

“People who don't know me well enough might say I'm delusional and paranoid, but they're just out to get me.”
― Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed

“It is always hard for me to share my creative output with others...It feels like I have taken a big dump on a platter and set it out at a party for people to view. I hope you like the way it looks and smells.”
― Lance Carbuncle

“They are not unattractive in the sense that I am drunk and they likely have female genitalia.”
― Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed

“that's a hell of a way to treat a donkey.”
― Lance Carbuncle, Grundish and Askew

“A face like an unwiped asshole.”
― Lance Carbuncle, The Unmentionables

“The man was a walking parlor trick,”
― Lance Carbuncle, The Unmentionables