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Lance Carbuncle’s Followers (513)
2,281 books
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Lance Carbuncle
Goodreads Author
Born
in The United States
Website
Genre
Influences
the Universe, quantum particles, thin crust pizza, Zappa, Vonnegut,Joh
...more
Member Since
October 2007
URL
https://www.goodreads.com/carbuncle
To ask
Lance Carbuncle
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Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
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published
2007
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8 editions
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Grundish and Askew
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published
2009
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5 editions
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Sloughing Off the Rot
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published
2012
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5 editions
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Rejected for Content: Splattergore
by
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published
2014
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2 editions
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The Unmentionables
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Tall Tales with Short Cocks Vol. 3
by
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published
2013
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2 editions
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Sloughing Off the Rot by Lance Carbuncle (14-Dec-2012) Paperback
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Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed now available as ebook
Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed now available as kindle book at Amazon
and in all other formats at Smashwords
and in all other formats at Smashwords
Lance
is currently reading
Lance said:
"
Another masterful and shocking story. Lance Carbuncle is a genius. Lance Carbuncle could write about rubber band ligation of hemorrhoids and it would put all other written works to shame. Lance Carbuncle could train monkeys in the deadly art of Krav
...more
"
Lance
is currently reading
read in August 2009
Lance said:
"
Good Lord. Sometimes I am just so amazed with myself. Did I write this masterpiece? Could I really be the literary genius who penned such a compelling tale? When I think about it, it makes me want to do some stretches, dab some cologne behind my ears
...more
"
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"This is a poignant tale for one who enjoys tongue-in-cheek humor sometimes in the most grotesque ways. Combine the Bible with the Wizard of Oz, toss in some zombie-like creatures and a person who realizes he must find redemption, goodness of human ki"
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“People who don't know me well enough might say I'm delusional and paranoid, but they're just out to get me.”
― Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
― Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
“It is always hard for me to share my creative output with others...It feels like I have taken a big dump on a platter and set it out at a party for people to view. I hope you like the way it looks and smells.”
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“They are not unattractive in the sense that I am drunk and they likely have female genitalia.”
― Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
― Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
Topics Mentioning This Author
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Next Best Boo...: End of the Year Summary | 73 | 315 | Dec 29, 2009 05:48PM | |
| Challenge: 50 Books: Brian's Books for 2009 | 111 | 1060 | Dec 29, 2009 06:22PM | |
| The Next Best Boo...: Author Interview with David David Katzman | 5 | 35 | Jan 20, 2010 04:34AM | |
Between the Lines:
What books are you reading?
|
1617 | 2058 | Jul 23, 2010 01:06PM | |
| Every one's Choice: Winners for August | 107 | 93 | Aug 23, 2010 12:00PM | |
| The Next Best Boo...: Cait's Reading Goals for 2010 - Kaput | 27 | 151 | Jan 04, 2011 09:09AM | |
| Every one's Choice: WINNERS for April | 45 | 38 | Apr 14, 2011 05:49AM | |
| Book Giveaways: TWISTED TALES book giveaways every Thursday | 3 | 29 | May 12, 2011 11:37AM | |
| Every one's Choice: Grundish & Askew - Author Q&A | 3 | 8 | Jul 20, 2011 07:25AM | |
| Book lovers : Recent Buys | 465 | 494 | Oct 08, 2011 07:03AM |
“It is always hard for me to share my creative output with others...It feels like I have taken a big dump on a platter and set it out at a party for people to view. I hope you like the way it looks and smells.”
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“Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST.”
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Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST.”
―
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]”
―
[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]”
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Comments (showing 22-71)
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Thank you for the friends invite! I look forward to a fun and bumpy road ahead as I browse through your shelves.
Thanks for the friend request. I am too busy reading to follow celebrities. I will read your books as they do sound appealing to my warped sense of humour.
Hmmm I see we have 13 friends in common, so you made friends with them before me?
Thanks for the friend request. Are you really a mega celebrity? For deals?
Your friend request message was amusing, yes I'm quite shocked, honored, and appalled to be asked by such a famous celebrity. When can I start bowing at your greatness and worshiping at your feet? Shoot me a time and place, I'm free most weekends.
thanks for the request. its good to meet another humanist beer snob. for some reason im unable to message you privately but to hell with it let the world see your communications. with any luck it will inspire thought and the ever so tarnished want to be and do something better. i think that is the best thing any author can aim for. what are your thoughts on writing?
PanzerBunny wrote: "haven't bugged you in a while. whats shakin... Wait... I'm learning to be careful how I ask authors like you questions like this. hahahaha kidding let'er rip! I got the good mask on!! haha hope you..."Some things are shaking, others trembling or jiggling, and some just twitch nervously. Thanks for asking.
haven't bugged you in a while. whats shakin... Wait... I'm learning to be careful how I ask authors like you questions like this. hahahaha kidding let'er rip! I got the good mask on!! haha hope you've been having fun, say hi sometime..!
I'll give your stuff a read for the following reasons:1. Your books look to be up my ally.
2. I am a fellow beer geek.
3. I accept your complements as truth and respect that.
-Dallas
Thanks for the friend request! I do drink cheap beer (but I wash it down with really good whiskey) hope you won't hold the cheap beer drinking thing against me. LOL. It would appear we do have similar reading tastes. Nice to meet you on here.
I was heading off to The Continent with "Sloughing Off the Rot" as reading material when I received a friend request from none other than The Author! The blend of random 60's/70's song lyrics, Burroughs-esque sensory immediacy (sputum trajectory play-by-play anyone?), and the "let's go there... all the way there" prose is great fun. Thank you!S.
Lance,Thank you for accepting my Friend request. I had to put your books on my "to read" shelf, man. Very cool titles!
All my best to you and yours,
Cedric
Hey Carbuncle, I've not come by to rattle thine nerves and say hello in a while. Hope chaos is being good to you. Last time you wrote you mentioned your equine woes. How is that going? :-P I'll leave you a ferly catch-up mail privately later.
ML
And thanks for the Vick's Vaporub tip. Definitely a necessity!
Whoa, dude. Looking very prophetic with the new look.
Dear Lance,I would like to thank you for being my friend here on GoodReads.
Lucinda x
Thanks for accepting my friend request, Lance.
Foxthyme wrote: "Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. If it's anything li..."Foxthyme wrote: "Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. If it's anything li..."
I recommend rubbing some Vick's Vaporub on your upper lip to mask the smell, too.
Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. If it's anything like Grundish and Askew, I need to be ready for it!
Thank you very much for the invite =)FYI, I´m a girl (it´s because of the glasses, isn´t it? yeah, I see how that can be confusing... actually I only ever wear them when I intend to look/feel smart... and that usually only works as long as I keep my mouth shut or until my clumsiness takes over)
Foxthyme wrote: "Hey, Checking in. Wondering if you are writing a new scatological tale at the moment? I am up for reading Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed, but I have to prepare mentally..."
I have my third book, Sloughing Off the Rot, just about ready to go. It will be out before the end of the year. I'm glad you're enjoying my work.
Hey, Checking in. Wondering if you are writing a new scatological tale at the moment? I am up for reading Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed, but I have to prepare mentally! Then I will plunge in.
You really do write unforgettable stuff.
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Lance, thank you for the friendship. Have a wonderful day.
Just finished Grundish and Askew. Can't wait for the sequel :-)
Happy Holidays Lance! If you have a chance you should youtube "Fruitcake" by The Superions. It's bizarre and hilarious so I think you'll like it. Destination Christmas is the album name and I'll be listening to this throughout the weekend :) CHEERS!
Hey Lance! Thanks for the add. I am very excited to read your work. (:
Thank you for the invite hon, it really made me smile. I gladly accept. Later :)
Jenn wrote: "So excited! My husband bought both your books from your site yesterday. We can't wait to read them!"Very cool. I hope you like them both. Let me know what you think when you're done.
peace,
carbuncle
So excited! My husband bought both your books from your site yesterday. We can't wait to read them!
Thanks for the add! Can't wait to check out your books :)
Hey Lance! I feel like we were friends on mySpace too! You have great taste in fans!! Shelley
Thanks for accepting the + Profile pic is slick- Jay
After reading a certain section of my Anatomy text tonight, I now have an entirely new appreciation for your name. :oD
I can't wait to read your books Lance! They both sound hilarious and amazing!!
Thank you for the random add, and I will be picking up your book as it does seem to be in my tastes.Just a random question. I'm fairly into psychology theories... actually anything that theoretical and at least has some logic (Hates Astrology). I'm an ENTP, and was wondering if you were too? I'm just noticing it by the way you write.
:D Anyways, I just woke up so I'm sounding dull.
Thank you for your kind offer of virtual friendship Mr Carbuncle.I will buy your next book purely for the title.
and finished! very entertaining. very much appreciated all of the footnotes. and i about pissed myself when i read the bit about bernice and her freezer.i have a cousin named angus. he's a cute kid, with the biggest ears i've ever seen on a toddler.
Jess wrote: "Lance, I read Stankpit. It's completely insane. I really look forward to read more of your work"Jess, Glad you enjoyed it. You should check out my first novel, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. Also, within the next couple of months, Vicious Books is releasing my next novel, Grundish and Askew. Please let me know what you think if you get the chance to check out my books.
Be cool,
Carbuncle
Lyric wrote: "p.s. i'm partial to mrs. miller's versions of Downtown and Monday, Monday."And who can blame you?
p.s. i'm partial to mrs. miller's versions of Downtown and Monday, Monday.
Lance wrote: "Cool. Tell your book club members that they can buy signed copies of Smashed on Lancecarbuncle.com. My signed copies cost less than on Amazon or Barnesandnoble.com"passed that message on. i wish i'd been able to go that route, but i am broke as a joke and i was only able to get the two copies that i ordered by way of an amazon gift certificate i received for my birthday. i just started it last night. digging it so far.
Lance, I read Stankpit. It's completely insane. I really look forward to read more of your work
Thanks for the invitation (and the context is rather amusing, to say the least). Hope we can exchange our likes and dislikes of books in the future. XD
Have a nice day.
Miz