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“I've googled OCD about 45 times so far today.”
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“I bought a book on willpower, but I only got halfway through.”
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“My partner and I were going to renew our vowels, but the consonants revolted.”
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“Once upon a time, a human belittled another human who spoke broken English, until the first human discovered English was the second human's third or fourth language, and then the first human felt rather stupid and decided to shut the f*** up.”
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“My wife says I'm full of half-baked ideas, so from now on, I'll microwave myself for 45-seconds before speaking.”
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“I can't seem to recall if I've ever had amnesia before.”
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“In terms of China's history, language, and culture, I find the more I dig, the deeper the hole gets.”
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“Once upon a time, there was a Jew who loved a Muslim who loved a Christian who loved an atheist, and they all lived happily ever after.”
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“As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute.”
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“Is it a lucky break if you get run over by an ambulance?”
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“I'm online, therefore I am.”
― China Simplified: Language Gymnastics
― China Simplified: Language Gymnastics
“Does anyone know a guy named Rich who turned out poor?”
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