Kate Hanley's Blog

Today’s big idea is that setting an intention before you head into any kind of holiday situation, whether that’s a family gathering, or doing some kind of chore, or shopping, or traveling, can help you achieve those twin goals of reducing stress and enjoying more. 

I think of an intention like a force field. It helps you maintain things that you want, like a feeling of calmness, or being curious, or playful, and helps you exclude things you don’t want. Like other people’s negativity or anxiety or what have you. Setting an intention is like saying, “Shields up!”

It’s also a way to focus your attention on what you want, and away from you don’t want. And that’s so helpful because what you focus on grows. I was reading an article recently about the director Jane Campion. And she said something that had me nodding my head, which is “Attention is love.” So setting an intention is basically a way to pay attention to the things you love.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

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There are two pieces to setting an intention

The first is to name the action or the outcome you want. That’s pretty self-explanatory. But the one tricky thing in this step is to set an intention that’s general and not overly specific. 

I’ll share an example that will make this clearer in just a little bit. 

But first, there’s a second piece of an intention that most people don’t think about or even know about. And that’s setting an intention on how you’re to BE that supports that intention. Because really, we don’t have control over what happens. We only have a say over how we react to what happens. 

So to set a general intention without also thinking about how you want to be only sets you up for disappointment. 

Here’s an example of an intention you could set

Let’s say you’re going shopping for gifts this weekend. You know it’s likely to be crowded. And you’ve heard about shortages so you know you might not be able to get what you want, and you’re really just dreading it. 

You could set an intention to find things that make the people you’re giving to feel appreciated. And to do it in a way that doesn’t stress you out. 

And the way you want to be in order to help that happen is open-minded and patient. 

If you’re open-minded, you’ll be more likely to find something that maybe you hadn’t thought of that would actually make that person feel appreciated. You might be more likely to talk with a salesperson who can show you something that you didn’t know to look for. And if you’re patient, you won’t automatically get a blood pressure spike when you catch sight of the line, which will help you not get stressed out. Maybe you’ll decide to go enjoy a cup of coffee and wait for the line to go down. Or maybe your open-mindedness will cause you to seek out the other register in the back of the store that’s not nearly as crowded. 

I had a cool experience with intention setting a couple years ago

We had some friends visiting from out of town and wanted to do something cool with them. There was an artist’s market in an old mill happening that we decided to go to, we figured it would be a fun outing and hopefully a cool way to buy some local, handmade gifts and support some small business owners. When we were parking the car I set an intention to connect with one person in there. (As an introvert, this is an intention I often set before walking into a crowded event, it helps keep it on an intimate scale, at least in my mind). And I was going to be curious about figuring out who that person was.

Once we were inside, I got to chatting with a woman who sold hot water bottles covered in these really cute flannel covers that she and her daughter sewed by hand. I ended up buying a water bottle for my mom and my kids as holiday presents and they all loved them. 

But even beyond that, I ended up becoming friends with that woman. She invited me to a networking event where I met a lot of other cool women and through that event I met someone who helped me figure out what to plant in this one shady spot in our yard. And it all came out of that one intention! Otherwise, I would have blown right past the hot water table, or I wouldn’t have lingered, and I certainly wouldn’t have asked enough questions for us to strike up a significant conversation. 

Daily Tiny Assignment

So that’s your tiny assignment–to set an intention for something holiday-related. Be thoughtful about how you express what your intention is–don’t get too hung up on specifics. And then think about what energy is going to help you fulfill that intention. 

Just to recap, there are two parts of an intention: 

The aim you’re seeking to fulfill, voiced in a way that’s general. 

And the energy you want to inhabit that will help you fulfill that aim. 

 

If you need some ideas of ways to be, here are some:

 

Open honest grounded playful curious receptive powerful bold decisive positive

 

This is all a little woo, I know. But setting an intention is how you use the opportunity, and yes, the challenges, of the holiday season to actually practice being a better person, instead of just muddling through, getting run down or overwhelmed. It’s a gift you give yourself. And then knowing how to set an intention will be a skill that you have in your pocket long after the holidays are through. 

The post The Crucial Piece of Any Intention appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Today’s big idea is that a really helpful way to feel less overwhelmed and overworked during the holidays–for those things you can’t outsource, minimize, or ignore, as I talked about on Monday–is to make peace with the doing. 

Meaning, focus on just accepting the fact that the holidays come with a certain amount of effort. Hating that effort, or resisting it, only makes your work feel harder.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

Listen, I get that there is a lot of work that goes into holiday celebrations

And it is so natural and tempting to kind of groan your way through them, or talk about how you hate them. I am the point person for gifts for my kids, for the people within my little nuclear family, as well as extended family. I spend a lot of time sending gift ideas and finding links and talking about sizing and keeping track of what’s arrived and what needs wrapping. And I caught myself thinking the other day “I hate gifts! I just hate them!”

But then I gave myself a little talking to. First, what a freaking privilege to have people who want to buy things for my kids. Second, the kids LOVE the present aspect of Christmas. And it’s really a bummer to open up something that just doesn’t jibe with who you are or what you like. I get that as problems go, it’s low on the list but, when you’re a kid, it matters more. 

I also remind myself that gifts are not my love language

But they are my kids’. And then I can get to a place where I may not love the gift wrangling, but it’s OK. 

So you may not feel 100% at peace with all the stuff you’ve got to do all the time. But even just remembering that you could choose to accept that this is just part of it can help you get to a place where you’re not hating every minute. 

A truth about the holidays is that they ARE more work than normal. It’s just a fact. Unless of course you’re not celebrating in any way. But I’m guessing there’s still work to be done in not getting sucked into the cultural frenzy and feeling content. It’s just more emotional and mental work. 

Acceptance is this trump card that you always have in your back pocket. But it’s also easy to forget about. It’s easy to get focused on what you can do to change something, which probably entails working harder in some way. But you don’t always have to work harder, or try to change things. Sometimes, you can just….accept them. 

So let’s talk about how to make peace with the doing. 

My first suggestion is, can you make your holiday-related chores more enjoyable somehow? Can you play some great music while you do them, or invite a friend to go shopping with you, or make yourself a truly excellent cup of coffee or tea or hot cocoa while you write your holiday cards? Anything to help you enjoy the actual experience of doing the thing, and not waiting until after it’s done to feel good. You know… have fun along the way. 

Also, and this is kind of next level, but can you use these tasks as an opportunity to practice being OK?

Even when you’re doing things you don’t particularly want to do? We all need this skill. I’m constantly telling my kids when they complain about having to do something they don’t want to do, “You don’t have to want to do it, you just have to do it.” You can still acknowledge that really you’d rather eat dirt than do this thing, but then you simply decide instead to just do it because it’s there, and it needs doing, and maybe there’s even a little peace you can find while doing this thing, because you’ve accepted that it’s there for the doing.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk who did so much to bring the concept of mindfulness to the West, in his book The Miracle of Mindfulness, calls it washing the dishes to wash the dishes. Not because no one else is doing the dishes, or so the kitchen will be clean and then you can relax, but just because they’re there, and they need doing. 

So do the holiday thing to do the holiday thing. 

When you can just accept the task, you actually get to relax into it. And then you’re relaxed, and your mind and body are working together, and it’s almost like going to yoga class or sitting down to meditate. It refreshes you instead of depletes you. 

But don’t just take my word for it. Your tiny assignment is to approach some task, whether it’s holiday-related or not, with acceptance–before the end of the day today. Surely there is something in your experience that needs doing that you don’t want to do. See what happens when you make peace with the doing. It can’t be worse hating every second of it!

The post Make Peace with the Doing appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Today’s big idea is that you can really up your enjoyment of the holidays by getting really clear on what it is about them that you love. Then try to focus on those things–and letting everything else recede in to the background. 

(And if that “forget the rest” idea sounds hard to do, go back and listen to yesterday’s episode which helps you take an objective look at what’s on your metaphorical holiday plate and figure out a strategy for taking care of those pieces that you don’t enjoy, or aren’t important, or both.)

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

So at this juncture, it’s really helpful to take a moment to remember what the holidays are all about

And to be clear, there are so very  many holidays that happen in December and January, I am absolutely not only talking about Christmas. 

I want you to ponder what this time of year is about on a deeper level. First, these are the final few weeks of the year. We’re all feeling the passage of time. Throw in the fact that we’re still knee deep in the pandemic, and rounding the corner into our second full year of living with Covid, and reckoning with the passage of time is hovering over everything like smog over LA.  

Add to that the many holidays that are happening, which at their root all share a call to focus on something that’s bigger than our daily to-do list. They’re about connecting with our loved ones and our communities – think about all the emphasis on volunteering and fundraising that’s going on. For many of us, they’re also an invitation to connect to a higher power, whether that’s via a formal religion, nature, or a more general concept of spirit or divinity. 

From a nature standpoint, this is also the darkest time of the year

At least in this hemisphere. And the darkness represents going within, spending time in a more intuitive realm, and nurturing ourselves.

And from a cultural standpoint, the holidays are a time to gather with other people, learn how to give and receive in meaningful ways, focus on celebrating what we’re thankful for, and participate in rituals – whether it’s lighting the menorah, getting a tree, or volunteering in a soup kitchen. 

So what piece of the holidays are most important to you? What do you love about them? What do you want to take this particular point in time as an invitation to do? 

Daily Tiny Assignment

Your tiny assignment today is to write yourself a list of the things you love about this time of year. And you can absolutely look back on your priority-making matrix–particularly quadrant 1–to help you round out this list. 

This list of things you love is also your priority list for the next few weeks. 

Why is it important to know what you want to focus on during this particular time of year? Well, it helps you not pay attention to things that don’t really do it for you, or that distract you from what’s important, or that suck your energy instead of replenishing it. 

And knowing that you’re focusing on what really matters to you helps you experience what my yoga teacher calls effortless effort. It’s where you lose the drama and the resistance and the striving and can just show up and do what needs doing and don’t do the things that don’t need doing. 

Anytime you’re wondering — should I do this thing? Do I have to do this thing? Am I doing enough to recognize the holiday? Or, when will these holidays be over I’m over it! Pull out your list of things you love. Let them guide you in your decision about what you say yes to and what you say hell no to.  

I really hope you’ll come back tomorrow

When I’m interviewing Amy E. Smith, a communications expert who specializes in all things self-worth and confidence and boundaries, about how not to let your family drive you nuts this holiday season. She’s awesome, and so is her advice, so don’t miss it!

The post What Do You Love About the Holidays? Focus on That appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Today’s big idea is that one way to make the holidays less taxing is to simply do less. Easier said than done, I know, particularly at a time where there are just so many components–gathering, gift-giving, cooking for a crowd, traveling, decorating, giving back, etc., etc, etc. Buuuuuuut, it IS possible to ‘do less’ and cut back on how much you do, without that meaning that you completely sit the holidays out.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

I’ve got a tool for you that will help you figure out what parts of the holiday you want to prioritize and which you might dial back on. It’s a priority-making matrix that I learned as a tool to help you figure out how to maximize your impact and reduce your stress at work, but it’s really cool to use it on your life stuff too. 

To make your own priority-making matrix, you need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil

Once you’ve got your supplies, you draw a big square in the  middle of your paper, then draw one line vertically down the center of the square and another horizontally across the middle, so you’ve basically got a big square with four equal quadrants. Then you number each of these quadrants, starting in the upper left hand corner and continuing in a clockwise direction. So the top left quadrant is  1, then 2 is the top right box, 3 is the bottom right, and 4 is the bottom left. Got it? 

At the top of your big square, write “enjoy” over the left hand column, and “don’t enjoy” over the right hand column. And then to the left of your square, write “important” next to the top row and “not important” next to the bottom row. I’m guessing you can already start to see how this matrix can help you categorize the many pieces of the holiday season. 

So let’s start in the upper left quadrant

This is where you write down the parts of the holiday that you both enjoy and that are important to you. For me, I love having a tree and it just feels important to bring more nature and more light into our house at this time of year, so this goes in this “enjoy” and “important” quadrant. 

Now let’s move to the upper right quadrant

This is where you put things that are important but you don’t enjoy. For me, this is holiday cards. I do think it’s important to stay in touch with folks, and that includes writing at least a tiny little handwritten note on our holiday cards. But, it’s not something I particularly enjoy. Even though it’s important, it’s still tedious to handwrite 100 little notes, you know? 

Continuing clockwise, let’s go to the bottom right hand corner

This is where you write things that you don’t enjoy AND that aren’t important to you. There are no right or wrong answers here. For me, this would be going to the Nutcracker or even to hear a choir. I just get really itchy and twitchy in a lot of performance situations. I think they are both great art forms, they’re just not MY thing. And that’s OK, because a cool thing about this matrix is that it gives these things you just don’t dig a home.

And then the last square is for the things you enjoy that aren’t that important

For me that includes watching holiday movies and listening to holiday music. I mean, these are fun things, but I’m not going to be sad if I don’t see enough movies or listen to enough holiday music. 

OK, let’s talk about what to do with the information you’ve organized in this handy-dandy priority-making matrix. For quadrant 1, these things are where you want to place your focus

You like them, they matter to you–these things deserve your energy. I’ll talk more about this particular quadrant in tomorrow’s episode, so keep listening or come back tomorrow. 

Your challenge with the things in Quadrant 2

Which houses the things you don’t enjoy that are important, is to find a way to make them more enjoyable. I can listen to holiday music or watch a movie while I write the cards, and that’s going to help me get them done. 

Quadrant 3 is the things you don’t like and they aren’t important

For these things, you have three options to do less: Minimize, delegate, or ignore. Minimize means, can you trim this down? If you were thinking of going to spend a weekend with friends or family but you really don’t have that much fun with them and you’re not even sure it’s worth it, could you blame Covid and propose a Zoom instead? Delegate is pretty self-explanatory.

When my daughter got invited to go to the Nutcracker with friends, I was honest with the other moms and said that ballet just makes me so itchy and twitchy and would they mind taking my daughter without me? We figured out that we could all go to brunch (where I will buy them a drink) beforehand, and now I’ll get those two hours to do something that I either enjoy, or is important, or both. And ignore means, basically, don’t do. So, guess what you do with these things? Don’t do them! If at all possible, just excuse yourself. Buh-bye. 

And finally, quadrant 4–

The things you enjoy but they aren’t that important. For these things, you basically get to decide how much of them to do, or even whether to do them at all. Maybe you sacrifice watching holiday movies so that you can get more sleep, and you’ll know that even though you like seeing Elf every year, you’re not really missing out if you need to find more space in your schedule. 

Daily Tiny Assignment

Your tiny assignment is to draw out your priority making matrix and fill out your quadrants, and then use that information to help you figure out what you need to be sure to make time for, and where you can do less. 

Take care, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow (when we’re diving into more of the things in quadrant –the stuff you love AND that’s important to you). 

The post Three Ways to Do Less this Holiday Season appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Finding self acceptance isn’t easy to do, especially when you are constantly judging yourself. That’s why today I’m interviewing Suzanne Kingsbury. Suzanne is the founder of Gateless writing, a method of teaching the art and craft of writing that melds brain science, zen practice, and craft tools. Suzanne studied Buddhism and meditation on a Fulbright, and her award-winning work has been optioned for film and translated widely abroad. She’s also helped countless writers get their best work on the page and publish widely acclaimed books. A cornerstone of Suzanne’s teaching is “your best thinking and work is accessed by getting past the critical ego mind, which is also the source of all those judgments you secretly make about others and yourself”. That’s why I am so excited to talk with her today.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Where does judgment come from? What’s it all about?

I think of judgment, Kate as kind of a trickster, right? Because some of it is actually really valid. Some judgment can be based on fact. If someone’s trying to harm you, your family or the environment (or anyone really), you’ll have a judgment against them. And that’s a discernment, if their actions have the potential to hurt you, or anyone else. But, a lot of judgment is there not to guard you against someone who’s dangerous, but someone who, for instance, you could be jealous of, you could have a little bit of competition with. In this case, the judgment has sort of the seeming to benefit you because it makes you feel better, right? There’s like this little uptick in cortisol whenever you feel judgment, and this just goes back to the workings of the reptilian brain. That that part of the brain called the amygdala, that when it perceives a threat, then it fires adrenaline, it fires a little bit of cortisol, and the cortisol raises your adrenals and you actually feel a little better which is like, “oh, he has more money than me, so I’m gonna judge him for how he spends it or how he earned it.” And then you get a little hit card as well and you feel a little better. So that kind of judgment, I think, can be really tricky. Then, there are judgements that are set into action when someone who’s actions are a little bit making us question our beliefs. So say you have a friend who had like an autoimmune disease, and they got better with an alternative medicine thing and you’re a nurse. Say you’re a nurse. So you might have a little bit of judgment against her using this alternative method because it really calls into question your belief system, your livelihood, right? And so you, you’re kinda guarding against it. It’s really tricky.

It is tricky. And it is tricky too because it does kind of, it feels sort of righteous, doesn’t it?

Exactly. Yeah, it feels good. That little hit of cortisol’s nice. And also sometimes we really wanna hang onto our beliefs because they have something, you know. They have something to do with our livelihood or the way we run our lives. So that makes sense too.

Right. Well, let’s look at this from the other angle. What about when we feel judged by other people, what does that do?

So the judgment from other people is hitting a place that makes us feel isolated. And really as humans, we are, we are herding animals. We wanna stay with the herd in order to feel safe. So like antelope, you know, or buffalo, like we’re all herding animals. And when we feel judged by someone else, or, you know, worse would be like a group of people, then it sends us into fight or flight. We immediately feel separated from the herd and therefore we feel at risk because anytime we’re separated From the herd as herding animals, we feel like, oh no, there’s the danger. We could be in danger. And when this happens, a bunch of systems actually shut down in the brain. Like you wouldn’t have, if you’re getting judged, it’s very subtle. But when they’ve neuroscientists have hooked people up to those machines where there are little dots all over your head and looking at what’s firing, what’s not firing. They realize that when we’re judged we actually don’t have access to things like long term memory, the imaginal mind, our powers of innovation and all of our ability to deactivate the stress response. So we feel at ease and comfortable. So that’s really when we’re judged why it can feel so uncomfortable.

I want to put a peg in that and come back to that in just a minute and talk about another kind of judgment that is the kind that we turn on ourselves, you know, especially when we’re trying to do something that’s maybe putting ourselves out there in some way, whether that could be like wearing some fancy new outfit or doing something creative or proposing something at work. What’s going on there and and why is that? How can we go about finding self acceptance?

Well, if we can think about judgment without judgment , we can think, if we can think about judgment more as almost like a guard at the door that’s trying to keep us safe. Like in the, in the example that we just talked about, wanting to keep you with the herd and instead of, you know, not with our, instead of isolated in this same way, if you wear a fun outfit that’s a little risky for you or you know, a little different judgment is almost always trying to keep you in stasis. So that means that it’s always gonna try to keep you from changing because change is considered dangerous to the judgmental mind. So even if you’re doing something really good, Kate, like you are doing your first book reading, or you got a Ted talk or you know, anything that’s different and new, they’ll, there’ll often be a little bit of self-judgment there or just a little bit of feeling of nervousness. I’m not enough for this, I don’t look good enough for this, I don’t have enough to say like, the imposter syndrome comes from that, that judgmental mind really trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you in the same place that you were yesterday. So that’s why that often will kick in.

Okay. So what are some tools we can use to get around that judgment mind in our daily lives and get go about finding self-acceptance?

That’s such a good question. I think part of it is really what you’re doing here, which is to look at judgment and then almost deconstruct it. You know, it’s just like when your daughter thinks there’s a monster in her bedroom and then you turn on the light and you know, it’s just a jacket on the chair. So to really look at the way judgment works helps to demystify it. And we also wanna question a little bit of, you know, any time we have judgment, we wanna look at if there’s a belief that we’re trying to hold onto or a place that we’re trying to stay the same, if there’s any fear there. And to know that the judgment is trying to keep us in a place that feels more comfortable than what this change is, you know, representing for you. So, so demystifying it and then really allowing yourself to sort of go, go beyond the comfort zone and knowing that, you know, change, change is gonna happen anyway. So even if there’s judgment there, you don’t have to pay attention to it.

What’s, what’s it like when you get better at moving past judgment when you’ve, you know, you’ve, you’ve paid attention to it. You’re reminding yourself that change is gonna happen anyway. Right? So may as well be going after something that you really want. Like, I think a lot of people don’t necessarily even realize how many they’re making that are kind of keeping them in that stasis place. So sometimes we need a little help envisioning something that we’ve never experienced before. Right? Can you tell me like, what, what what becomes possible?

What becomes possible is really if, if we move past that addiction to the cortisol, to the feeling of being revved up by the judgment and that that includes judging ourselves, that cortisol gets released even when we judge ourselves. Mm. So it kind of frees us up to be in a situation where we’re not feeling like we need that hit all the time. As soon as you let yourself move past it once, you’ll begin to move past it again. And when you do that, other neurotransmitters can fire in the brain. It’s really all about brain science judgment. And that that’s sort of relaxing to know that it’s not just personality or it, it really is something happening in the brain. And when we can move past the judgment, don’t, don’t take the, the quote unquote cortisol drink and just realize that’s a judgment, I’m not gonna believe it.

Then other neurotransmitters begin to fire like serotonin, oxytocin, gaba. And ultimately these aren’t as addictive as that cortisol hit of judgment you get when you judge someone else or when you judge yourself. Mm-hmm . And these can settle the nervous system and make our lives run smoother. But also we have access to so much more in the brain if we don’t take that hit of judgment if we don’t believe it. And that means that places in the brain that are responsible for the innovation, responsible for creativity, responsible for long term memory get freed up. So we have a lot more possibility in terms of how we’re moving around, what we’re capable

Well you help people get past judgment, right? I’m just curious, could you share an example of maybe something that’s happened, it could be from your own life or in one of your clients when people have kind of learned how to circumvent that, that old tired path of like making the judgment and getting the cortisol?

Yeah, that’s such a good question. I mean, I think when we isolate we, you know, we’re weaker, right? Anytime we collaborate, we’re stronger and judgment doesn’t let us collaborate. But I recently had a writer who just lost her literary agent, which is, you know, a big deal for writers. And, um, she was in a real place of depression and, uh, jealousy. Jealousy of other writers who seem to be doing really well. And one writer in particular, which often happens with judgment. She just, this, this, this writer that she was jealous of just seemed to have it all. Mm-hmm the books and the big house and the husband and the connections. And my writer was just, she was having a lot of judgment about how she wrote and what she was writing and how she was marketing and everything. But when we went to build her platform to kind of try to get a new agent for her, which platform can be really important for getting the new agent, you know, I said you might wanna reach out to this writer cause she has built a big audience and she might be a fun person to share audiences with and swap ideas.

And she was so reluctant at first because she built up all the judgments against her because she was feeling sort of depressed. So the judgements really, they give you that zing of cortisol, which makes you feel good in the short term. But she did reach out to her and the writer wound up being one of the most helpful pieces in building the platform and she actually gave her her agent’s name. Wow. . So this writer, you know, was collaborating rather than isolating and it turned out really well for her. And it’s, it was one of the sort of biggest ways that I could think of to explain to other writers why it’s so important and anyone really in any industry to collaborate, you know, to move past the judgment to realize, oh yeah, I’m in that thing of judgment cuz I don’t feel that good about myself or whatever. Holding onto beliefs or, and then to realize like, oh my gosh, if we can just form, form collaboration and team and community, a lot can happen.

I know to my listeners too. So for folks who wanna connect with you, where can they find you?

Well, they can come to gatelesswriting.com so that’s where,  we house our website and they can come along and really anyone is welcome to to write to me. And there are 75 writers, gateless writing teachers, worldwide so they can also experience the methodology really anywhere. But I’d love to love to hear from your listeners, Kate. So gateless writing.com. But think, I just wanna like, reach out and say, thank you so much for doing this podcast. It is so uplifting in a world where there’s a lot of noise. This one really stands out for me and I feel so grateful to be on here.

Daily Tiny Assignment

So the next time that you notice yourself judging someone or judging yourself, your tiny assignment is just to say, oops, there goes that little hit of cortisol again. And just take a breath and kind of let it pass. Sometimes just thinking about something in a different way helps shift it, it helps it change into something better. That’s it for today. I hope you have a great night and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

The post Finding Self Acceptance Through Not Judging Others appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Today’s big idea is, no surprise about gratitude. After all, it’s Thanksgiving in the US. Essentially a national day of gratitude. 

Thanksgiving is my favorite family holiday because it’s really about coming together and sharing a good meal. And there’s no pressure of choosing gifts or spending a bunch of money. It’s just about enjoying food (something I’m always down for) and being thankful. I even love the cooking and the clean up because that too is communal in a way that it typically isn’t. And it’s a given that you’re going to be cooking a lot that day. You’re not also trying to get work done or do projects around the house. You’re just cooking, and that helps you settle in and embrace it.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

I should also give a shout out to my in laws here because we typically spend Thanksgiving with them.

And they are very grounded, unfussy, fun people who enjoy eating and talking and drinking… and then going home. They joke that every family get together lasts four hours so it’s never rushed and it never drags on too long. Even the big holidays, like Thanksgiving. 

The one nod to the deeper meaning of the holiday that I like to do is to go around the table and everyone names one thing that they’re grateful for. You know, it’s not a speech or a big to-do. You’re just naming something, and you can always say family or food and it’s not a big deal. BUT some very meaningful and memorable moments have come out of that exercise.

One year, after my husband’s work life got totally upended and we had to re-think just about everything. He said he was thankful for me and my support and understanding. And while I never doubt how he feels about me, and he’s supportive, and funny ,and honest, he’s also not Mr. Declarative about his emotions. And I was really touched by that. Another year, my son, who was 6 at the time, said he was thankful to his mom for giving him life. So deep and so sweet. And if you’re a mom you know that you often don’t hear the sweet deep thanks from your kids so that one has really stuck with me. 

So I am here to personally attest that hearing someone else speak their capital-T Thanks out-loud is really powerful. 

If you’ve listened for a while you know I’m a fan of writing down your thoughts and feelings. Especially in response to certain questions or prompts that can help you figure out what you really think or feel in a way that is harder to do when you’re just internally mulling it over. I know we’ve all heard the advice to keep a gratitude journal and I’m not knocking it. BUT, when it comes to gratitude, there really is something extra powerful about saying it out loud. 

Science backs this up, too. Martin Seligman, the founder of the field of Positive Psychology studied what he called a gratitude visit. Where one person writes a letter of thanks to another person, and then reads that letter out loud and in person to the recipient. Studies have shown that if you are really engaged in the gratitude visit concept–it’s your idea and you’re into it, and not just doing it because someone told you. That the experience can provide benefits in increased wellbeing and lower depressive symptoms for as long as 9 months afterward! Perhaps it can be an experience that you and/or your recipient savor for years afterward, too, like I do with those simple comments around the Thanksgiving table. 

Daily Tiny Assignment

So your tiny assignment is to tell someone why you’re grateful for them. Maybe you’re listening to this as you’re cooking for Thanksgiving and you can get the folks you’re having your big meal with to go around the table and do it. Or maybe the holiday has passed or you’re spending it on your own, in which case you could either just do it at your next gathered meal. OR, you could go whole hog and write that gratitude letter to someone who did something that you don’t feel you’ve adequately thanked them for, and then call them, or Zoom them, or ask to get together with them and read it to them. Remember, it’s not the writing that you’re seeking to do — it’s the speaking it out loud. 

Thanks for listening to today. I am so grateful for you!

To take the time out of your busy life to listen to something that might help you see things in a new way or try something new, and for giving a shit about being a better person. It gives me so much hope and resolve to know that you care, and that there are so many of us who care. I hope you have a lovely holiday. 

The post Happy Thanksgiving- A Funny Story About Gratitude appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Instead of feeling like you’ve got to create and stick to a rigid new schedule–which can be intimidating–it can be helpful to think about finding a new rhythm instead. Because transitions are wonky–sometimes they feel too fast and like your hair is blowing back, and sometimes it’s like they’ve gotten stuck in neutral, and you’re revving your engine but not getting to more stable ground any faster. You need an adaptable approach that’s going to help you feel successful even when life gets chaotic. 

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

Once in my life when I was doing my coaching training, which required several hours a week of class time, in addition to client work and my kids were little I got really super organized and made a color coded spreadsheet broken down in to half-hour increments that showed when I’d do what and tried to decide when I was going to do all the things I wanted to do. And guess what–if something took longer or something else entirely came up and I diverted from that gorgeous grid, I felt like a failure. 

So now, I think of creating a helpful routine like a song

A song has a dependable and definable rhythm that is also modifiable. For example, the rhythm of a song can change subtly between the verses and the chorus. AND it can also accommodate a guitar solo, or it can shift into something completely different for a short amount of time, like the bridge. 

So, if your fall routine were  a song–what is it’s rhythm during the verses, which are, for most of us with a traditional work and school schedule, the weekdays, and what’s the chorus, the fun upbeat and shorter part that are more like the weekends?

And then, when you have a super busy couple of days it can be like your guitar solo, and even though you may feel like things have gone off the wheels you know that the rhythm you’ve established all the other days will be there, waiting for you, when the shredding s over. 

Of course, if you’re a parent, your rhythm will be fairly dependent on your kids’ schedules.

I typically love to get up before the rest of the house and have 20 minutes plus of quiet time to have a cup of tea and read or meditate or play Boggle, but when my daughter had to be at school last year at 7:25, and she was on an every other day schedule, it was really really hard to a) get up earlier than her and b) find a rhythm when our schedule changed every other day. 

This year, now that both kids are going to the same school every day and school starts at 7:55, that means from 6:30 – 7:30, I’m in the mom zone. Then I’ve got 45 minutes of quiet time to take care of me, and then by 8:15 or 8:30 I can start work. Take the dog on a walk around 12:30. Be available for any after school schlepping that needs to happen from 3ish to 4 ish.

Another hour and a half of work before starting dinner around 5:45 so we can eat by 6:30, which is what we need to do so that everyone has about two hours between dinner and bed time to do what they need to; homework, read, chat with friends. And a quick last-call walk with the dog at 9 with kids ready for bed by 9:30 That routine is my verse. 

Saturdays tend to be my guitar solo

As they are usually kind of nuts, running errands, doing chores, taking kids to classes, and saving time for something fun. Sundays are like the chorus–yoga in the mornings, reading a little paper, watering the plants, cooking in the afternoons, making an early and big dinner so that we’ll have some leftovers for the week. 

I share that in the hopes that it’s interesting–I am always intrigued to hear how other people do things and when their kids go to bed, lol. 

Daily Tiny Assignment

Your tiny assignment is to think about what your basic rhythm is. What time do you get up, and what do you generally do in the mornings? When do you do your best work, when do you tend to need a break from work? What days of the week tend to be your most productive, and when is a natural time in your week to take care of non-brain-intensive things? 

And what day of the week tends to be your guitar solo, when you know that it’s just going to be kind of nuts but that you can get back to a steadier rhythm the next day? 

And just for fun, if you had to pick a theme song for fall, what would it be? Would it be something mellow, or upbeat? An old standard, or something new and exciting? 

Me, I want something fairly predictable, like maybe something kind of electronic or disco. There’s this one song that always comes on when we’re in my husband’s car called Ride It by DJ Regard. You can Google it. And if YOU come up with a theme song for fall, I would love to har it! Email me at beabetterpersonpodcast.com, or DM met on Instagram at katehanleyauthor. 

Take care. 

The post Find a New Rhythm; How Schedules Are Like Songs appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Creativity has a TON of important positives to offer us. I’m going to walk you through what I think are the most important benefits of creativity. To get you pumped up to explore and strengthen your own creativity over the next several days, here are some of the more profound benefits of creativity you stand to experience.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast HereLet’s start at the top

As in the top of your body. Because creativity is decidedly good for your brain. When you get in to the zone of doing something creative you enter what’s known as a flow state. That’s when your brain waves slow down, making you better hear the inspired thoughts that are often crowded out by the chit chat of thoughts about more pressing things. 

In addition, your prefrontal cortex goes into a kind of suspended animation state. Which means you’re less likely to judge your abilities and ideas, and more likely to do something that’s a little out of the box. Feel good neurochemicals, such as dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins, are also released. So it’s like your brain is getting a runner’s high and your creative act can result in an elevated mood. 

Creativity is also good for your mental health

Multiple studies have shown that engaging in creative pursuits increases your experience of positive emotions. Joy, optimism, and happiness, and positive emotions are what enrich our lives and make it worth living. Other studies show that creativity can reduce the symptoms of depression and lower anxiety. 

Along these lines, creativity also helps you process your emotions and sort through your ideas. 

As William Faulkner said, “I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.” It’s not that creativity gives you the thoughts or the feelings, but going through the process of making something creative forces you to get present to what’s in your mind. And try to distill it to the point that what you’re making represents how you’re feeling. And then looking at–or listening to– the results of the creative act helps you make sense of those feelings or ideas. 

What you create doesn’t even need to be directly related to what you’re going through to help you make sense of it all. I read a great article in the New York Times about a family who made an origami crane for every day of lockdown. And while it just seemed like something to do at first, seeing the cranes pile up helped them understand the nature of this very weird time in a different way. And posting photos of them on social media helped them connect with others and have conversations about that time that they wouldn’t have otherwise had. 

As you can imagine, processing your thoughts and feelings also helps creativity reduce your stress

Those positive emotions that creativity can elicit naturally lower stress because they change your focus away from what’s worrying toward what’s meaningful. Also, when you’re creative, you are in the moment, and that is basically mindfulness in motion. It’s a form of meditation. 

Creativity also makes you, well, more creative, and that helps you approach everything in your life with a new, more observant and imaginative lens. Even things that are traditionally more left brained, such as problem solving. 

I mean there is a whole science around art therapy that helps people work through their issues and develop on an emotional level through art. It’s certainly not frivolous. If you already have some kind of creative practice or hobby or whatever you want to call it, good on ya! I hope some of the benefits of creativity you’ve just heard will reinforce what you’re already doing, and remind you that your creative practice is a worthy expenditure of your time. 

And if you DON’T already have some kind of creative practice, I’ve got some episodes coming up this week to help. Tomorrow I’m talking about one fundamental idea that will help anyone be more creative. Wednesday I’m talking with Jackie Dishner, a writer, artist, and leader of the Creative Coping for Women Facebook group about how to find your own personal creative practice. Thursday we’ll cover how to invite inspiration into your life. And on Friday, I’ll talk about how to get around the inner critic. Which will almost certainly try to tell you that you shouldn’t waste your time on creative pursuits. 

Daily Tiny Assignment

Your quick tiny assignment today is to do one creative thing. It could be tiny, like doodling in your notebook for five minutes. Or answering a question that your partner, friend, or child asks you in rhyming verse. Or a spontaneous dance when you hear a song you like on the radio. Maybe open the fridge and challenge yourself to make something using the ingredients you have on hand. Just look for an opportunity to do something creative today, and then notice how it makes you feel. 

And come on back so we can continue to reap more of these amazing benefits of creativity!

The post The Many Amazing Benefits of Creativity appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Today’s big idea is that in order to invite creativity to have a bigger seat at your proverbial table, you need to find inspiration. 

Fun fact: the root of “spire” means breath, so inspired means filled with breath, or since if you aren’t breathing you’re dead, filled with life. So even if you don’t care one whit about doing anything creative, inspiration is still essential.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

So, how do you make sure that you have regular rondez-vouses with inspiration? 

Here are some tried and true ways to get into that state where inspiration is rushing in to meet you, like Kermit and Miss Piggy racing toward each other across a grassy field. 

Julia Cameron in her self-help classic, The Artist’s Way, recommends courting inspiration by scheduling regular artist’s dates with yourself where you go and do something that gets your creative juices flowing, whether that’s going to a museum, or a yarn store, or a library, or a thrift shop if upcycling is part of your creative jam.

I whole heartedly recommend leaving the house to go to a place that is not your house, as sometimes we need to leave or everyday environment to start seeing possibilities. BUT, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that you can now also browse the crap out of websites and apps, like Pinterest, Instagram, and YouTube to find tutorials on how to do anything from cooking to painting to cross stitch and so much more.

My 11 year old son Teddy loves drawing anime characters, and uses Tik Tok primarily to go see what anime characters other people are drawing, and what techniques they’re using. During a pandemic especially, these apps can be a great source of inspiration–of course, you have to try to rein in your attention in these places or else the time you wanted to use to find inspiration could get frittered away watching really dumb stuff, or so many different kinds of things that all you feel afterward is scattered, not inspired. So, user beware. 

One place you might NOT consider as a destination to boost your creativity is outside

But it is undeniable that getting away from your screens and spending time in nature is a reset for your brain and a boost to your creativity. 

In fact, one 2012 study found that people who spent four days on a hiking trip were a whopping 50 percent more creative than folks who hadn’t been outdoors all the time. There’s a school of thought, called attention restoration theory, that was developed by researchers Stephen and Rachel Kaplan in the late 80s and early 90s, that says that being in nature restores our ability to think clearly.

So if you want to feel more creative in your life but don’t know where to start, head outside. Even a city park counts. A 2013 study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that it only took 25 minutes in a green space to refresh your attention. Just go observe what there is to see and breathe in the fresh air and know that when you head back inside, you’ll feel mentally refreshed and more open to thinking differently. 

Of course, you can also get inspired by engaging with art in some shape or form. Reading, listening to music, going to an art exhibit, using your favorite homemade things that are in your home can all get your creative juices flowing. In order to be a creator, it really helps to be a consumer of others’ creative output. It’s like you can ride their creative brainwaves into your own idea. 

And finally, sometimes you have to schedule your inspiration.

Meaning, you can’t wait for it to show up; you’ve go to make space for it in your life by carving out some time on your calendar where you have no other obligation but to putz around in whatever creative pursuit is calling to you. 

The way that I do my creative writing is by joining a writing group that meets on Fridays at noon. I show up, the leader gives us a prompt, and I write. All the other days of the week, I don’t have to wonder when I’m going to write, or feel bad that I haven’t done it lately. I know that I will do it on Friday. It’s kind of like showing up to a scheduled yoga or other type of fitness class, all you have to do is get your butt there.

I’ve learned about myself that I need to know that other people are going to show up in the same place at the same time in order to do the thing. Is there a group or a class you could join? Maybe you’re more of an individualist, which is totally fine. You still need to figure out when you’re going to do your creative thing. As in, actually look at your calendar and think, when will I do this thing that comforts me and makes me happy this week? 

Daily Tiny Assignment

Think of a couple ideas of things you can do that invite inspiration in to your life, and then to look at your calendar and schedule a couple times to do those things. This is how you start to take a nice idea and make it real. This is how you show up for your own creativity. I promise you, it feels great. 

Come back tomorrow, when I’m talking about how to do creative work even when you’re inner critic is telling you that you suck, or that you’re crazy, or that the whole thing is a waste of time. Which, isn’t a question of IF it will happen, because it’s a given. The only question is, how will you react?

The post Simple Ways to Invite Inspiration Into Your Life appeared first on Kate Hanley.

Today I’m talking to Becky Karush about the power of reading for our mental health and overall wellbeing. Becky is the founder of Read to Me Literary Arts, where she hosts group writing salons, which I attend and am devoted to. And she also coaches writers individually. Becky is also the host of the wonderful Read to Me podcast, which if you haven’t checked out yet, you really must. You’re going to love it. Becky is a certified teacher of the gateless writing method and has led more than 250 writing salons. She lives in Southwestern, New Hampshire with her family and her cat. And that is where she is working on her novel.

You’re reading the transcript of an episode of the How to Be a Better Person podcast. If you’d rather listen, click the play button below.

Listen to the Podcast Here

Becky, welcome. So you have a podcast called, Read to Me. You are clearly a lover of reading. Why?

I think it’s one of those things that your brain is kind of born into. That the act of reading fires off a lot of dopamine in the brain. And whatever the wiring was in the womb, it just happened that way. The way like goats will eat anything, but sheeps really like grass. Like my brain really likes books. But what they did for me as I got older is they were total refuge. They were the place where time slowed down. Where there was mystery, excitement, adventure, peace, resolution. They were home.

Hmm. Resolution and home. Oh my goodness. Hook those two things to my veins. So what does reading have to offer us? Us who are human beings who want to be decent humans?

I think it’s two things. And one, the physical act of reading, which I acknowledge is not easy for everybody. It does not light up everybody’s brains and it’s not the only way to become a better person clearly. I just wanna make room for that. But for those, for whom it does feel good. I think that thing about time slowing down, I think that’s really part of it. Even if you’re a fast reader, there is a different relationship to time you can’t race through it exactly, if you’re reading with attention.

it’s different if you’re like skimming a grocery list. But when you’re reading something  that’s engaging your imagination or challenging your beliefs, there is a way that your eyes literally have to move on the page. Whether it’s digital or, or paper, they have to move through time and space to make it happen. Even that tiny engagement with the body, it just slows us down. And then in that like micro slower space, we have to enter into our imaginations.

And honestly, I think imagination might be the building block of empathy. Even before you understand why you care about other people, that ability imagine a world beyond your own circumstances. I don’t know, makes a lot of things possible. Terrible things, but  certainly the building block of good things.

You say, and I agree that everyone has a gift for writing. So what does reading have to offer us as human beings who would like open up our innate gift for writing?

Reading is where you fall in love with words. Reading is where you fall in love with sounds. It is where you fall in love with images. And reading is where you begin to pay attention to something that’s outside the daily run of things. All of that; words, sounds, images, a world beyond our world, those are all things that come into writing when you’re creating something new. It’s really the only way I think, if you’re long to be a writer, you’re curious about it. It’s the only way to understand the craft.

Because someone can tell you, oh, use description in order to slow down the pace. And you’re like, okay. But until you see that, like say you love Harry Potter and you notice there’s a spot where she’s describing Haggard’s beard. And I’m using Harry Potter because whether we wanted to, or not, most of us have encountered it. Like, oh, she slowed down using Haggard’s beard. That’s what it means. It’s like the experiential way to see how people do the things that make you feel things when you read

It also, it adds this cool layer to reading, doesn’t it? When you’re thinking about reading, in terms of understanding it as something that has been written. It’s like your kinda brain sort of splits into two and there’s part of you that’s just taking it in and appreciating it. It’s cultivating something that I think of that I learned like through studying meditation, which is the ability to witness.

That is so beautifully put Kate and you’re exactly right. George Sanders calls it his meter, like a positive negative meter. And there’s part of him experiencing the work, feeling it, reacting to it. And there’s part of him with this meter being like, oh, this is interesting. Oh, that’s interesting. And the what happened there? And that split consciousness where you’re observing an experience,  it can be a little tiring of course. But it does give you this super power of understanding that experience is created. That it can be changed. That  the simple thing of one word changing means that it’s a different reality.

I read recently that reading is what first teaches you, how to be alone. You got thoughts on that?

I was thinking about that earlier on my walk. And the funny thing is that you’re not alone because you’re with this imaginative or intellectual other world, and you’re with an object. You, your Kindle, or your physical book. But you’re not looking toward anyone else for stimulus interpretation, permission, confirmation. You are in your experience. And if it feels good and if it’s an assignment that you hate, then you know, then that’s a really different thing.

But if you’re in it and you’re enjoying it, you’re getting a positive response from it. Then being just you and a book is the best feeling in the world. It’s peaceful, it’s full, it’s kind of heaven, but there’s a hardcore introvert talking here. But even if you get your energy from people you’re still  imaginatively engaging. So I think that ability to feel full and engaged without needing confirmation from another creature is really, really powerful. And actually, I think it’s a beautiful question, because I don’t think we think about that very much reading as that kind of spiritual tool in that way. It’s beautiful.

Well, I wanted to ask you about it because when I saw that on social media, you know, some kind of meme or something. I was like, that is why when my husband tries talking to me, when I am reading, then it’s like the hair on the back of my neck stands up like a dog who sees a dog walking past her porch.

Yes, yes, yes. You are fully involved in an experience and they are not.  Like that split that isolation and you’re somatic like your body is involved. Your brain is lit up. And the other people have nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. It’s actually, you know, having a young child, I really stopped reading because I couldn’t. It was like, I couldn’t afford to disengage from him in that way. It took a long time to go back to it.

I can identify with that. And thank you for validating my experience. So Becky, what practical advice do you have for listeners on reading? Like how to do more of it, how to find the time for it, etc?

I think the first thing is to give yourself full permission to read exactly what you like. If you like romance novels, read them. If you like magazines, read them. There’s really no curriculum. There’s really no inherent betterness to Hemingway. He’s doing really different things. You’re gonna learn really different things when you do that. But the reading that you’re doing, that you have done that you’ve liked, it’s good. If it’s Steven King, great.

And then in terms of when that’s a tricky one. It’s tricky for me too, because my eyes are in use all the time on my screen like so many of us. And that screen gives a lot more immediate, easy pleasure. So that’s just the truth of it. But I have started having a book at the kitchen table in the morning. Right now, I just picked up station 11, which my husband had on his shelves. And I’m giving myself permission to read a page.

As a lifelong reader, it’s much more often that I would read like four chapters at a time. Like that’s really satisfying, but I don’t have the stamina right now. So I read a page and I’m gonna be good with that. And honestly, I know this is might be a little intimate, but put a book in the bathroom, man. Like you’re there for a while sometimes. It’s really private and we do it. So, embrace it, go for it.

I did ask for practical advice, Becky. (Laughter)

For people who are interested in literature, they probably found their way already. But if not, those the hundred word short stories, they’re just perfect snacks. If you just Google hundred word stories, there’s a bunch of different online magazines that have them.  I call it like a literary spiritual practice when you haven’t done any other spiritual practice today. So those are some of the things I do

I love them. What about advice for listeners on how to engage with reading in a way that is a little more philosophical, Can reading help us be better people? And if so, how should we approach it?

I think applying principles of radical love to the work helps us open our hearts. And by that, I mean, when I’m reading this, what do I really, really love about it? And taking time to name it. Not just it made me happy, or I really like the characters, or past the time. Those are wonderful reasons and I’m not discounting them. But after those, what were the colors that I loved? What was one line where the author really landed the plane? What was it about the end of that chapter that made me cry?

And this comes back to the writing practice that you and I both do Kate, gateless writing, which is grounded in looking for and naming the parts of the writing that we really love. Really trying to think about why. When you start to do that, it does change your relationship to the piece because you’re looking at it with that split mind in a really focused way. But it opens your heart to the work of the author. It opens your mind to really simple things like commas and dates.

Like sometimes you’ll see like 1971 and you realize that’s the moment when the piece bloomed. It opens your mind to craft, to being able to see that something can be composed carefully, and be new in the world. And that’s a worship. It’s like an appreciation practice. You know, I think appreciation gets a little bit of short shift because we wanna learn and we wanna make the use of our time and be productive. But the active appreciation it again, it slows you down. It makes you humble and it makes you really happy. And then that kinda carries over. It can to other circumstances in your life.

Yeah. I like to say what you appreciate, appreciates

Yeah, that’s it. That’s totally it. And that happens in reading

Becky, for listeners who are loving what you’re saying and want to connect with you some more, where can they find you?

Well, I have a website, there are a lot of words on it. And that is a readtomeliteraryarts.com. Then I’m on Instagram @readtomeliteraryarts. And then if you’re in New Hampshire, just  you know, holler, I’ll hear ya.

And your podcast, remind us of your podcast name

It’s called Read to Me with Becky Karush and you can find it on Apple and Spotify. And I’m gonna announce something here. We’re coming into our final season!! Fourth and final season. And it’s gonna be all episodes of people who have asked to be on the podcast.  Emerging or largely emerging writers who have published their first book or they’re just about to publish their first book. To just love them up and show them that their work is deeply appreciated for very specific, smart reasons.

Daily Tiny Assignment

If you don’t already, start underlining, or turning down the corners, or writing down the sentences, you just love in the books that you read. I get a weekly newsletter from Anne Friedman, who is co-host of the podcast, Call Your Girlfriend and co-author of the book, Big Friendship. And she sends out a newsletter every end of the year with her favorite sentences of things she’s read throughout the year. And it’s so cool to read them.

For bonus points, make sure you’ve got reading material in your bathroom. I hope you’ll come back tomorrow when I am sharing seven easy ways to read more, to build on the great tips that she shared today.

The post The Healing Power of Reading appeared first on Kate Hanley.