Koda's Blog: Koda Means Friend

The month is drawing to an end, and in honor of April Fools' Day, I'm handing out coupons for 67% OFF my poetry collection, valued at $14.99 paperback, $11.99 on (Beautifully Formatted) pdf, & $9.99 on epub - GOOD FOR 4 DAYS ONLY. If you haven't already purchased the book, you won't be disappointed in its contents. There are poems of many styles and subjects, accumulating at over 120 pieces. It's a BIG book, and a great introduction to myself as a poet. If you've already purchased a copy, purchase one for friends or family. Either way, forward this email to all your poetry-loving peeps, and let's see how many copies we can get off the shelf. Remember, these coupons are only good through April 1st!

To order on paperback for only $4.95, use code ENLQCTSM at Createspace
For $3.30 EPUB, use code QX28V at Smashwords
For $3.96 PDF, CLICK HERE

After reading, if you feel up to it, PLEASE submit a review!

Genre:Horror ComedyRating:PG-13Release:2013Notable Cast:(He was Matt Parker on NBC'sHeroes);;(He was the Devil on CW'sReaper)Director:Writer:Introduction:So I'd browsed past this movie a few times while surfing Netflix, and each time I thought (probably like most people do)Hmmm.Big Ass Spider...Really? Haha.It was probably the second time flipping past this movie when my roommate tells me that her friend had told her to check it out. "It must be funny, then," I told her. That was two nights ago. Tonight, I told Ethan that he could stay up and watch a movie with me if he promised to sleep in tomorrow. It's Spring Break for our kids, but if you think that means anybody gets to sleep in, you've got it all wrong. Our kids are up at the buttcrack-of-dawn no matter how late we let them stay up; it's all car-crash sound effects from our eight year-old Ethan, who's playing with cars in the bedroom next to his five year-old sister, Jane...who's screaming at the top of her lungs to add "drama" to her game of My Little Ponies or Barbies. They've got the door shut, but it's a small apartment and they just haven't grasped the concept of how far their voices carry... Not to mention, even though they've got the whole bedroom to themselves, they're playing Right. Next. To. The. Door.Anyway, I'm trying to introduce Ethan to the horror genre (it's been my favorite since I was two years-old, when I used to tell customers at my mom and dad's video store, "Dis movie really, really good," pointing toJaws). We're starting with PG13 flicks, and I figure some R-rated gore won't kill him, as long as it's not too extreme, and the movies which carry it don't contain any sex. Earlier this year we watchedSigns, and he really dug it, and he's seen a few episodes ofThe Walking Dead(turns out he's a zombie fan).So tonight, I hand him the XBOX controller and tell him to get on Netflix and pick out a scary movie. He asks me how, and I tell him to take it off the Kids setting and go down to the Horror Section. I leave the room, and when I come back, what has he picked out?Big Ass Spider!Go figure.I glance at the rating (PG13) then back at him. "This is the one you want to watch?" I ask."Yeah!" He's really excited about his choice. "Look at that huge spider!" He's pointing to the picture next to the synopsis. (Ah. Eight year-old boys...)"Alright, let's do it," I agree.Best. Choice. Ever.Overview:Not only isBig Ass Spiderjust scary enough for my little kid, it's got enough campy comedy to keep me entertained as well. The plot focuses on bachelor exterminator Alex (Grunburg), who ends up in a hospital the very day a huge spider gets loose. The gore in the movie is minimal, and it's okay that the special effects are obviously computer-generated (this helps with my consistent point to Ethan that everything in movies is fake...that they're "playing pretend").The comic-relief in the movie is the hospital's security guard named Jose (Boyar), who agrees to assist Alex in catching and exterminating the spider, and is a true Hispanic stereotype. I found Jose's witty dialogue very humorous. He gets most of the punch lines.Overall, the movie isn't great, isn't Oscar-worthy, and is pretty much just silly, fun entertainment (as you'd expect from a SciFi Original), but my kid enjoyed it, and he's not going to be having any nightmares over an unrealisticFake Ass Spider. I had a good time watching this one with Ethan.This Movie is For:1)People whose children want to watch a "scary movie"... I didn't notice any bad language, if that's a concern of yours, and the gore was minimal and completely computerized...easily passed off as "fake".2)- People who love campy horror films... If you enjoy Horror Comedies, you should give this flick a shot. The dialogue really makes for some good laughs, if you're not offended by stereotypes.3)- People who are terrified of spiders... The spider in this movie attacks people, but on a SUPER unrealistic scale; it should either give you the kind of scare you're looking for, or help with your phobia.4)- Anyone who is a fan of giant bug movies (Tarantula,Them,Eight-Legged Freaks)... This should really get you feeling nostalgic in a good way.5)- People who love stereotypical humor... Boyar really nails the hispanic stereotype in this movie, and there's some witty puns dealing with the Spanish language.This Movie is Not For:1)- Anyone looking for a "scare"... At it's heart, despite the soft-core gore, this movie is a comedy, meant to be silly entertainment rather than scary.2)- Anyone who's picky about their special effects... Although they're nothorribleor too low budget, we're not talking about realism here, folks.3)- People that don't like stereotypes... A lot of the humor is focused around Jose, and there are some jokes relating to the Spanish language.4)- People craving big-named actors... Although you'll recognize some of the people in this movie, you're not going to find any cameos from Robert Redford, Justin Bieber, or even Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis.5)- People who desire sophisticated, realistic plots... It's about a giant spider, for Pete's sake.In Closing:Ethan enjoyed this movie, and I was tickled over both that, and the campy humor. Before he went to bed, he told me: "That movie was scary!" Since most of the humor went over his head, I feel like we achieved our goal tonight.I hope you enjoyed my review. I tried to keep it entertaining, informative and, of course, unbiased.Until next time!- Koda

Genre: Horror Comedy Rating: PG-13 Release: 2013 Notable Cast: Greg Grunberg (He was Matt Parker on NBC's Heroes); Lombardo Boyar; Ray Wise (He was the Devil on CW's Reaper) Director: Mike Mendez Writer: Gregory Gieras   Introduction: So I'd browsed past this movie a few times while surfing Netflix, and each time I thought (probably like most people do) Hmmm. Big Ass Spider... Really? Haha.   It was probably the second time flipping past this movie when my roommate tells me that her friend had

I love movies, but I rarely read reviews. Why? Mostly because they tend to be bias, very one-sided, or they give away too much. As a former video store manager, I know that this doesn't do anyone any good. I also understand, that everyone is different, and just because one person doesn't like a certain type of film, it doesn't mean that that genre, style, or specific flick won't have a ton of fans with completely different personalities/taste. I think it's about time someone started reviewing movies with an open mind... with a broad definition of which movies will be good for certain kinds of people.With that being said, I'd like to be that person. When I worked at Hollywood Video, customers would come to me specifically for movie recommendations because Iknewthem, and more importantly, knew what they liked, or didn't. In other words, I wasn't the employee that told everyone: "Watch this movie. I thought it was great." Instead, I listened to my customers' feedback, remembered who they were, and remembered their preferences.My recommendations were personal. Let's have an example:Customer Alikes Horror movies, but only if they have a decent budget, fairly well known actors, and isn't into gore or monster flicks.Customer Bloves gore, as long as it's well done, but requires more plot that your mainstream Slasher flick (e.g.Nightmare,Friday the 13th,Scream). Well-known actors aren't an issue, as long as the acting is decent.Customer Cisn't really into Horror movies and gore, but loves a good Thriller and is an avid Sci-Fi renter; Ghost stories are the exception.Customer Dis a true fan of Horror, and all of the above genres, renting just about anything as long as its new, and not TOTAL CRAP, with the exception of crap-intentional campy movies likeSharknado(They find these kinds of movies truely intertaining in a comical sense).Now, (this is totally made up, but) just to make this example easy, let's say that the genre-fittting movies that came out this week wereAliens,Saw,The Woman in Black,Cloverfield,100 Feet, andTucker & Dale VS. Evil.Customer Aasks me if there were any good new horror movies this week. I reply, "There were like, six... but, most of them were pretty gory, except forCloverfieldandThe Woman in Black."Customer A:"Were they good?"ME:"I liked them... But I wouldn't recommendCloverfieldfor you. It's got a pretty good budget, but it's one of those camcorder films, centering on an alien invasion. The monster is cool, but I know you're not into those kinds of movies. I'd getThe Woman in Blackthis week. It's got little Harry Potter in it, all grown up, and it was a pretty good ghost story."Customer Bis next in line. She's brought up everything except for the two Sci-Fi flicks,Saw,andTucker & Dale."How'd I do?" she asks.ME:"Pretty good! I think you'll really like these.Alienswas even better than the first, andThe Woman in Blackand100 Feetare two very different sorts of ghost stories.Customer B:"Yeah... I wasn't sure about100 Feet. I don't recognize anyone in it."ME:"Famke Jansen is in it. She's plays Jean Grey in theX-Menmovies, and she's Liam Neeson's ex-wife inTaken. I liked it because it was a unique ghost story, and has some good gore, which you don't usually see in ghost flicks. Also, you should check outSaw.It's looks like it might be a dumb slasher, but it actually has a really good plot—and on a side note,Tucker & Dale VS. Evilwas hysterical, and makes fun of all those slashers you don't like, giving a plausible explanation for every silly thing that happens in those kinds of movies."Customer Cbrings the two SciFis, and the two ghost stories.ME:"Ooh, I know you love ghost stories, but you should know that100 Feetis pretty gory.Alienshas a little gore, but isn't as bad. I think you'll really likeThe Woman in Black, though, and just to warn you:Cloverfieldis one of those camcorder movies. I thought it was really well done, but you shouldn't rent it if you're not into those."Customer Dbrings them all up. He's so excited that there six new horror movies this week (because this is REALLY rare).ME:"Good week, huh? It's like this whole scenario was made just for you! You'll like all of these."Customer D:"That's what I was thinking, but I can only afford two or three this week. Can you help me choose? Maybe I'll putTucker & Daleback. It looks like more of a comedy than a scary movie."ME:"Oh, no! You don't want to do that! It is definitely a comedy, but it's awesome...especially for someone as into horror movies as you are! It takes every scenario from your favorite slashers and gives them a legitimate explanation from the killers' perspective. It's like the Big Bad Wolf's version of theThree Little Pigs, if you ever read that as a kid. I thought it was freakin' hilarious, and it includes all our favorite slasher flick stereotypes. You should get that one,Saw, and100 Feet.The Woman in BlackandAlienswere both great, but they're the slowest of the six, andCloverfieldis more action than horror, although it is probably one of the best POV films I've seen sinceThe Blair Witchstarted the whole craze. If you're only going to get two, saveSaw. It's super main-stream, and we have a ton of copies. There's only a few copies left of100 Feet, and it was really original for a ghost story."See what I mean? Unbiased, tailored reviews giving you the information you need to know if a movie is right foryou—noteveryone. As an avid flick-fan who worked in the industry for seven years (but was introduced to it at the young age of 2), I understand that my opinion is just that: MY OPINION. We don't need opinions to tell us whether or not we're going to like something. We need FACTS that will help us make better decisions on our own.One of the WORST movie reviews I've ever read (and by WORST, I mean COMPLETELY USELESS as a review) was in my local newspaper the weekScooby Doo 2went into theaters. It said simply, "Don't waste your time with this juvenile [something-or-other]." It's been a long time, but that was basically the direct quote, in so many words. One line; nothing about the movie other than it was "juvenile" and "don't waste your time." My initial thought after reading the review was:Juvenile?? It's for freakin' kids! Of course it's juvenile!Were they expecting a serious Scooby Doo movie, with the mystery qualities ofMurder, She Wrote?Unacceptable.So here's the thing. I would like to give this whole Movie-Reviewing thing a shot. After all, I've been doing it in private since,Forever, so why not? I don't watch movies as regularly as I used to, but I still make time to watch them when I can, so I'll be posting some reviews here after doing so now. I'm into every genre of movie (not just horror, as this blog might have suggested), so expect a WIDE variety of cinema being watched. What you should NOT expect is a star-rating, or other nonsense that should suggest that I am the official voice of Hollywood. Just expect some facts and suggestions that should help you determine if these movies are worth YOUR time, or not.If you'd like to request a review, I'm certainly okay with that, as well. Comment below, or use the Contact Form on my site. I'll be happy to watch a movie for you.Until next time,Your Friend Koda.

Hey everyone! I just gave the poetry section on my website a face-lift! I hope you'll all come check out some of my work, compiled over the last 20 years, and preview my new book of poetry, Walking Here & There: And Other Early Works - A Collection of Poetry and Lyrics. Feel free to rate and review on site if you'd like! Cheers and Love!
http://cineman84.wix.com/koda#!poetry...

I love movies, but I rarely read reviews. Why? Mostly because they tend to be bias, very one-sided, or they give away too much. As a former video store manager, I know that this doesn't do anyone any good. I also understand, that everyone is different, and just because one person doesn't like a certain type of film, it doesn't mean that that genre, style, or specific flick won't have a ton of fans with completely different personalities/taste. I think it's about time someone started reviewing

I love movies, but I rarely read reviews. Why? Mostly because they tend to be bias, very one-sided, or they give away too much. As a former video store manager, I know that this doesn't do anyone any good. I also understand, that everyone is different, and just because one person doesn't like a certain type of film, it doesn't mean that that genre, style, or specific flick won't have a ton of fans with completely different personalities/taste. I think it's about time someone started reviewing

Hey POETRY LOVERS!
It's time to get the word out regarding my first published book, Walking Here & There: And Other Early Works - A Collection of Poetry and Lyrics ! If you like poetry - no matter what kind/s - this is a book for you to check out! I'm looking for people who like to write reviews, and so I'm starting here on GoodReads! If you're interested in obtaining a FREE copy of my poetry collection, please contact me, using the form on my website for information on how to get a free ePub version in order to review my book for me. I'm looking for written reviews, not just here on GoodReads, but also anywhere and everywhere. This is a limited time, exclusive offer for GoodReads members only, and I'm hoping that some positive attention will help get the word out. The eBook is retailed at $9.99, and has over 120 poems/lyrics in many different genres and formats, so it's a BIG BOOK with a little bit of something for EVERY poetry lover. Please contact me using the link above, and put "REVIEW WH&T" (or something along those lines) in the subject box. I'll get back to you with instructions on obtaining your free copy, and the easiest way to submit reviews at all the best sites. At this time, I only have ePub versions available for giveaway, and this is why I'm not using the GoodReads Author-Giveaway program, which would require me to hand out paperbacks. So come on! Sign up now, get a free book, and help out a new author. If you love poetry as much as I do, I'm sure you'll find some love in my book!!
CHEERS!
Your Friend
-Koda