Claudia Six's Blog: Erotic Integrity blog

November 27, 2025

Thanksgiving: Pass the Pie, Hold the Guilt

Let’s talk about Thanksgiving — that annual ritual of turkey, travel, and tension. For many, it’s less a celebration of gratitude and more an endurance sport in emotional contortion. Families gather, old patterns resurface, and before you know it, you’re twelve years old again, explaining your life choices to Aunt Martha, who still calls your ex “such a nice person.”

But here’s the thing: gratitude isn’t supposed to taste like guilt.

The holiday, at its best, is about appreciation — not obligation. Yet so many people show up because they should, not because they want to. As a relationship counselor, I see this all the time: we confuse compliance with love. We override our authentic selves for the sake of keeping the peace, and in the process, we abandon the very person we’re meant to honor — ourselves.

So, this year, what if you treated Thanksgiving as permission to thank yourself? To honor your sanity, your growth, your boundaries, and maybe even your brilliant decision to skip the family drama and order Thai food in your pajamas. There’s no cosmic rule that gratitude only counts if it’s served with stuffing.

Create your own rituals. Write a gratitude list that starts with me. Light a candle, take a walk, toast to the small victories — the moments you didn’t settle, the times you spoke your truth. That’s thanksgiving in its purest form: presence without pretense.

And if you find yourself alone, remember — solitude isn’t failure, it’s freedom with good lighting. You can create your own Friendsgiving, or join one. There’s something deeply nourishing about breaking bread (or pumpkin pie) with chosen family — the people who see you, not just your résumé of holiday attendance.

The real feast isn’t the meal, it’s the mindset. Take what feeds you — warmth, laughter, a long nap — and leave the rest on the metaphorical buffet. The world doesn’t need another martyr to tradition. It needs people brave enough to be honest about what actually fills them up.

So, this Thanksgiving, help yourself — literally and figuratively. Pass the pie, hold the guilt, and give thanks for the one person you can count on to know what you truly need: you.

Get my free guide, “How to Ask for What You Need,” right here.

The post Thanksgiving: Pass the Pie, Hold the Guilt appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 27, 2025 05:55

November 20, 2025

Embracing Erotic Integrity: The Courage to Be Your Sexual Self

I’m Dr. Claudia Six, a sexologist who’s spent over three decades witnessing the quiet battles couples wage in their bedrooms—not over sex, but over the courage to be themselves.

Sexual problems, you see, are rarely about the act itself. They’re about a deeper struggle: the absence of what I call Erotic Integrity. This is the art of knowing who you are as an erotic being, owning it with unapologetic truth, and living it authentically. Without it, we’re trapped, performing a script—heterosexual, vanilla, “normal”—that society hands us, leaving our true desires in the shadows. A lot of suffering stems from people trying to be the way they think they’re supposed to be.

Picture a couple, let’s call them Maya and Sam. Their once-vibrant spark is now a flicker. They started strong, but their erotic connection has dwindled. In our sessions, a truth emerges: Maya is bisexual, a part of herself she’s buried, fearing Sam’s rejection. She holds back, her touch tentative, her heart half-hidden.

This isn’t just about sex; it’s about a fear of being seen. Too many of us suffer this way, molding ourselves to fit expectations—monogamous, straight, predictable—while our authentic selves ache for expression. In 2025, with 40% of couples citing intimacy loss as a divorce driver, this disconnect is a silent epidemic.

Erotic Integrity demands we confront these fears. It’s not about chasing novelty or forcing compatibility; it’s about excavating your truth. In my practice, inspired by my book Erotic Integrity, I guide couples to explore their proclivities—not as taboos, but as invitations.

For Maya, this meant whispering, “I’m attracted to women too,” in our conversation where partners share one hidden desire without judgment. Sam’s response? Not rejection, but curiosity. Together, they began exploring, not performing, finding ways to weave Maya’s authenticity into their connection.

This work isn’t painless. Authenticity means facing the sting of vulnerability, the fear of “What if I’m too much?” Yet, it’s where intimacy blooms. By owning her bisexuality, Maya didn’t just revive their sex life; she deepened their bond, turning fear into trust. The bedroom became a space of genuine connection, not a stage for societal scripts.

So, tonight, ask yourself: What truth am I hiding? Dare to name it—to yourself, your partner. Erotic Integrity isn’t easy, but it’s liberating. Be the lover who lives their truth and watch connection transform from obligation to celebration.

Take my Erotic Integrity quiz here.

The post Embracing Erotic Integrity: The Courage to Be Your Sexual Self appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 20, 2025 05:55

November 13, 2025

Erotic Grief: When Desire Changes Before You’re Ready

By Dr. Claudia Six — Clinical Sexologist, Relationship Therapist, TEDx Speaker, Author

No one warns you about erotic grief.

We hear about and live menopause, testosterone changes, cancer treatment, chronic illness, and the slow, steady realities of aging — but almost no one prepares us for this part:

One day, desire may not be as effortless as it once was. It may not rise on command. It may go quiet, or slow down, or disappear for stretches.

And that shift can break your heart a little.

Not because sex is everything — but because it used to feel like a natural expression of aliveness, connection, and self.

And yes — this happens to men and women. Desire does not vanish out of cruelty. It changes because we change.

 

The Quiet Shock of Erotic Grief

Erotic grief is that private moment you catch your reflection and feel a flicker of surprise. Not judgment — just recognition that time has moved, and with it some body parts. And something intimate inside you has shifted.

It is remembering a time when arousal felt like breathing — instinctive, immediate, unquestioned — and realizing it now needs invitation, patience, tenderness, and sometimes encouragement.

For many women, menopause brings a strange loneliness — not just in the body, but in identity. A sense of, Where did that version of me go? And who am I now in her absence?

For many men, changes in arousal or erections can feel like a loss of agency or confidence — a quiet grief rarely spoken aloud, because men are taught to endure in silence.

And for anyone moving through illness, cancer treatment, or chronic pain, intimacy may shift from impulse to intention — and that transition can feel like mourning the body you once lived in with ease. We don’t just grieve bodies. We grieve the selves those bodies once made possible.

 

This grief isn’t vanity. It is love — for who you were, and sometimes fear about who you are becoming. And naming it does not erase desire. It reclaims it.

When we honor the truth of erotic grief, we make room for a new form of aliveness to emerge — slower, maybe, but deeper; less about urgency, more about presence; less about performance, more about feeling.

Grief Means It Mattered

Grief isn’t failure. It means something mattered deeply. Erotic grief isn’t the end of desire, it’s the end of assuming desire will always behave.

Desire doesn’t disappear. It evolves — just as we do.

Intimacy Isn’t Over — It’s unfolding a little differently

Desire can be rebuilt, reinvented, reborn. It may move slower. It may require intention. A lot of intention.

It may prefer tenderness, depth, warmth, emotional foreplay, presence, and longer kisses than you remember needing. This is not decline. This is transformation.

How We Meet Erotic Grief

Name it. Unspoken shame kills intimacy faster than aging. Try: I miss the ease that used to feel so natural. And I’m learning to meet myself here, with gentleness and curiosity.Stay curious. Desire isn’t lost — it’s forwarding its mail. You’re just learning the new address. And sharing it with your lover, if you have one.Use humor. When your body does something unexpected, it’s ok to laugh. You’re not broken — you’re human.Rebuild pleasure — don’t retire it. Slow can be sacred and delicious. Intentional can be electric. Connection can be the engine, not the afterthought.

 

This Isn’t the Door Closing

Erotic grief is a hallway, not an ending. Intimacy is not who you were. It’s who you are, and who you are still becoming.

If this resonates, subscribe and share. I write about intimacy, courage, aging, desire, and the art of being deeply human in relationships.

Schedule a free consultation here: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

The post Erotic Grief: When Desire Changes Before You’re Ready appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 13, 2025 05:55

November 6, 2025

Loneliness in the Bedroom: A Sexologist’s Path to Reconnection

The Hidden Face of Desire

Too often, I hear the same refrain: “We’ve lost the passion”, “We’re great partners, we get along, but we never have sex anymore”, “We really love each other but we’re frozen and stuck when it comes to being intimate.” Often what’s really happening isn’t a sexual drought—it’s loneliness masquerading as one. In my practice, I’ve seen how life’s inevitable transitions—empty nests, menopause, the relentless grind of parenting—amplify this quiet ache, turning partners into strangers in their own bedrooms. Sexual problems aren’t just about desire; they’re a mirror reflecting a deeper, unspoken isolation. The good news? Authenticity, that raw courage to be fully seen, can heal both the heart and the intimacy you crave.

Empty Nests and Forgotten Connection

Take empty nesters, for example. After years of kids as a buffer, couples face each other, only to find they’ve forgotten who they are together. I’ve counseled pairs like Sarah and Tom, who, post-kids, sat in silence at dinner, their bed a chasm of unmet needs. What began as routine turned into emotional disconnection, echoing the cries of so many who type into Google: “how to rekindle passion after years together.”

Menopause and Shifting Desire

Menopause is another thief of connection, reshaping identity and desire in women, and requiring their mates to adjust and rise to the occasion ~ so to speak. Women like Lisa, navigating hormonal shifts, tell me they feel invisible—not just to their partners but to themselves. They’ve put themselves aside for so long that they don’t know who they are anymore. This stage often fuels sexless marriage stories, not from lack of love but from unspoken grief and uncertainty.

Parenting and Exhaustion

Parenting, wonderful as it may be at times, devours time and energy. Couples like Mark and Jen describe sex as a checkbox, squeezed between diaper changes and packing school lunch boxes. These transitions aren’t just logistical—they’re emotional and energetic, magnifying disconnection. Intimacy issues thrive when exhaustion replaces curiosity, leaving couples yearning for closeness yet unable to find the time.

The Bigger Issue: Loneliness

40% of divorcing couples cite “lack of intimacy” as a core issue, but that’s closing the barn door after the horse has left. The bigger issue is loneliness. Left unnamed, loneliness corrodes marriages quietly, long before the divorce papers are signed.

Erotic Integrity as an Antidote

What’s the antidote? It’s not about new positions or toys—it’s about erotic integrity, a concept I explore in my book, Erotic Integrity. This means embracing your authentic sexual self and sharing it, vulnerabilities and all. When couples don’t talk, loneliness festers. I guide clients to start small: one honest conversation at a time, no blame, just your truth. “I feel alone when we don’t touch” can crack open a wall.

It’s not easy; this takes courage, and above all a desire to grow. But when Sarah admitted, “I miss feeling desired,” and Tom replied, “I’m scared I’m not enough,” they began rebuilding. I’m simplifying, but it’s uncovering such faulty beliefs and ineffective behaviors that paves the way to reconnecting.

Divorce as a Gateway to Renewal

Sometimes, the specter of divorce forces this reckoning. It’s not the end but a gateway to self-confrontation. Couples on the brink, like Lisa and her husband, find that naming their loneliness—“I feel alone even when you’re here”—sparks renewal. Loneliness in relationships isn’t your destiny; it’s a signal to reconnect, to seek intimacy not just in bodies, but in truths.

Book your free consultation here: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

The post Loneliness in the Bedroom: A Sexologist’s Path to Reconnection appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on November 06, 2025 05:55

October 31, 2025

Unmasking Desire: Halloween as a Playground for the Soul (and the Body)

Halloween isn’t just for kids and candy anymore. It’s that glorious, culturally sanctioned day when grown-ups get to slip into fishnets, fangs, or fairy wings—and, more importantly, slip out of themselves. I like to call it the national holiday of projection and permission.

For one night, you can be anyone. A sultry vampire. A mischievous witch. A sexy pirate with questionable navigation skills. Underneath the costumes and glitter is something much deeper: a chance to embody a part of yourself that’s usually exiled to the back of your psychic closet.

As a sexologist, I see Halloween as sacred play. It’s society’s way of saying, “Go ahead—experiment.” You can flirt with archetypes: power, mystery, surrender, boldness. When you embody them in costume, you’re not pretending—you’re remembering. Those personas live inside you all year; Halloween simply hands them the mic.

For couples, it’s a delicious opportunity to spice up your relationship—to dance with novelty and rediscover each other in disguise. The mild-mannered accountant becomes a seductive werewolf. The tired mom channels Cleopatra. Suddenly, desire wakes up and says, “Oh, hello there, stranger.” Play ignites erotic energy. It’s not about perfection—it’s about permission.

If you’re single, this isn’t a night to feel left out; it’s your personal permission slip to embody your body. Try on a character that feels outrageous or unapologetically sensual. Maybe you’ve been the responsible one all year. Tonight, be the unapologetic flirt, the wild mystic, the disco alien. See how it feels to move differently, to be seen differently, to let your skin—literally and metaphorically—breathe.

Here’s the trick (and treat): Halloween gives you cover to play without consequence. But the real growth comes when you realize you don’t need the costume to access that confidence or sensuality. The mask can come off, and what remains is the part of you that felt alive, curious, desirable.

So whether you’re handing out candy, slow-dancing with your inner vampire, or resurrecting your libido from the dead, remember: this night isn’t just about ghosts. It’s about reclaiming the haunted, hidden corners of yourself that are dying to be seen.

Now go out there—and raise your spirits. Literally.

Schedule your free consultation here: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

The post Unmasking Desire: Halloween as a Playground for the Soul (and the Body) appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 31, 2025 05:55

October 30, 2025

When Money Meets Intimacy: Dr. Claudia Six on the Conversations We Avoid Most

Money and sex—two of the most charged, uncomfortable topics in any relationship. We all know they matter, but few of us know how to talk about them without tension, shame, or silence.

In this insightful podcast conversation, Dr. Claudia Six, Clinical Sexologist and author of Erotic Integrity, dives into the emotional and relational undercurrents that link these two powerful forces. She shares how her own upbringing—shaped by post-war austerity in Europe—formed her early views about money, scarcity, and worth, and how those childhood lessons can echo through our adult relationships.

Dr. Six reminds us that wealth doesn’t insulate anyone from relational struggles. Whether couples have a little or a lot, the same themes surface: power, trust, control, vulnerability. Money often becomes the stage on which deeper emotional dynamics play out.

What bridges the gap between money and intimacy, she says, is vulnerability—the willingness to be seen and to speak honestly about what money represents: safety, freedom, self-worth, or fear. When couples can drop the performance and engage in real conversations about both sex and finances, they begin to build genuine connection instead of transactional harmony.

It’s a refreshing, deeply human conversation that invites listeners to reflect not just on how they earn or spend, but on how they love, communicate, and share power.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://aspiriant.com/podcast/dr-claudia-six/

And schedule your free consultation here: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

The post When Money Meets Intimacy: Dr. Claudia Six on the Conversations We Avoid Most appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 30, 2025 07:10

October 23, 2025

The Awkward Art of Connection: Kizomba and the Dance of Desire

There are few places more humbling than a Kizomba dance class—except, perhaps, your own bedroom. Both require connection (extreme connection!), rhythm, and the ability to stay present while someone else is, quite literally, in your personal space.

Kizomba is a gorgeous, slow, sensual partner dance from Angola. It looks effortless when done well: hips swaying, bodies gliding in sync, the kind of chemistry that makes onlookers swoon. But take one class, and you’ll quickly realize: Oh… this is a masterclass in feeling inadequate.

First, there’s the proximity issue. You’re asked to step into a stranger’s arms, chest to chest, and breathe normally. Easier said than done. You become hyper-aware of everything: your posture, your scent, whether your hips are doing that figure-8 thing, up-back-and-down, or more of a “confused washing machine” motion. It’s like mindfulness with a side of mortification.

Then comes the following—or leading—part. In Kizomba, the follower must surrender control while staying fully engaged. Sound familiar? Many people struggle here, both on and off the dance floor. We want connection, but also to steer it. We crave intimacy, yet brace for missteps.

And let’s talk about timing. That exquisite moment when your partner moves and you’re just a beat behind—awkward, endearing, a little embarrassing. Like sex, Kizomba rewards attunement, not choreography. It’s all about feeling rather than performing. That’s why I like it so much.

What makes both dancing and sex vulnerable is that they expose our habits of self-consciousness. We worry about being too much or not enough, about leading badly or anticipating rather than following, am I wiggly enough, will I be chosen or passed over, is it ok that I’m sweaty… The antidote in both cases? Relax, breathe, and be exquisitely present.

When you let go of perfection, something magical happens: your body starts to speak the language it already knows. The dance—and the intimacy—become co-created, not executed. And it’s delicious.

So the next time you’re in a Kizomba class (maybe I’ll be there too) and feeling like a two-left-footed imposter, remember: it’s not about flawless moves—it’s about shared rhythm, presence, and trust.

And if all else fails, smile and keep swaying. Connection, after all, isn’t about never stepping on toes—it’s about being willing to keep dancing. Bravery looks like staying in the dance, not mastering it.

Can you relate to any of this?

The post The Awkward Art of Connection: Kizomba and the Dance of Desire appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 23, 2025 06:00

October 16, 2025

Unveiling the Silent Scripts: Rewriting Intimacy’s Story

I’m Dr. Claudia Six, a sexologist who’s spent over three decades sitting with the tender truths of couples and individuals as they unravel the knots of their sexual lives. Too often, I hear the lament: “Our sex life is broken.”

But let me tell you a secret: sexual problems are rarely about sex itself.

They’re about the silent scripts we carry—those insidious beliefs, 10 or 12 of them, all variations on the theme of “I’m not good enough.” These internal narratives, like shadows in the bedroom, shape how we show up, or fail to, in the dance of intimacy.

Consider this: a woman, let’s call her Anna, lies beside her partner, silent, her needs unspoken. Her script? “I have no voice; there’s no room for me.” She feels invisible, her pleasure a ghost in the sheets. Or a man, like David, who believes, “I’m not desirable enough,” so he performs, eyes averted, chasing approval instead of connection.

These are not isolated thoughts but a chorus: “I’m not sexy enough,” “I’m too broken,” “My needs don’t matter,” “I’ll be judged,” “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,” each a riff on inadequacy, stifling desire before it can breathe.

These faulty beliefs develop in infancy, sometimes in the preverbal stage. They’re part of our emotional fingerprint and predate our current relationship. They aren’t just thoughts; they’re barriers. They keep us from showing up authentically, from saying, “This is what I long for”.

It’s not about new positions or toys; it’s about rewriting the story. Take Anna: we explored her belief, “My needs are a burden.” Your pleasure isn’t a luxury; it was a birthright.

Recognizing these scripts shifts everything. In 2025, 60% of couples cite disconnection as their core issue.

Unraveling takes courage—but it’s transformative. Imagine David, once paralyzed by “I’m not enough,” now meeting his partner’s gaze, saying, “I want us to explore together.” The bedroom becomes a sanctuary, not a stage.

So, pause tonight. Ask: What script holds me back? Name it, share it, and watch authenticity rewrite your intimacy. You are enough—exactly as you are.

Ready to rewrite your scripts? Schedule a free consultation: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

The post Unveiling the Silent Scripts: Rewriting Intimacy’s Story appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 16, 2025 05:55

October 9, 2025

Introducing the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT

For more than three decades, Dr. Claudia Six has guided individuals and couples through the complex terrain of intimacy, connection, and erotic integrity. As a board-certified sex therapist, author, speaker, and clinical sexologist, she has dedicated her career to helping people navigate challenges in relationships with clarity, compassion, and expertise.

Now, Dr. Six is bringing that same wisdom to an innovative new platform: the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT, a custom-built AI guide designed to share her insights in a new, accessible way.

What Is the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT?

This custom GPT is a conversational tool that draws on Dr. Six’s 30+ years of experience in counseling, teaching, and writing about sex, intimacy, and relationships. It is designed to provide general psychoeducation—helping users explore common questions such as:

Is it normal for desire to change in a long-term relationship?How can couples navigate mismatched levels of intimacy?What does reconnection really look like after years of distance?How do life transitions, like menopause or empty nesting, affect intimacy?

 

Unlike a therapy session, the GPT does not offer diagnosis or personalized treatment. Instead, it delivers evidence-based, compassionate guidance rooted in the principles Dr. Six has shared for decades through her counseling practice, lectures, and her book Erotic Integrity.

Why Launch a GPT?

Dr. Six has always believed in meeting people where they are. In today’s world, many people turn first to the internet when they have a question about relationships or intimacy. While search engines can offer quick tips, the quality and credibility of that information varies greatly.

The Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT bridges that gap—providing a safe, respectful, and informative space for users to explore sensitive topics, while ensuring the answers are shaped by the expertise of a Board Certified (by the American Board of Sexology) professional.

This GPT is not a substitute for therapy, but it can serve as a first step:

Helping individuals put words to their struggles.Offering clarity around what’s “normal” in relationships.Encouraging partners to open conversations about connection, intimacy, and sexual wellness.Guiding users toward additional resources when deeper support is needed.

 

Who Is It For?

The GPT is designed for individuals and couples who:

Feel disconnected and want to reconnect with their spouse or partner.Wonder if what they are experiencing in their sex life or relationship is common.Are navigating transitions such as menopause, parenthood, or empty nesting.Simply want to learn more about intimacy, erotic integrity, and communication.

 

It is also a resource for anyone who has read Dr. Six’s work, attended one of her talks, or followed her blog, and wants a more interactive way to engage with her material.

A Note on Boundaries

It’s important to remember: the GPT is a psychoeducational tool, not a therapist. It cannot provide individualized treatment plans, crisis counseling, or medical advice. Instead, it offers thoughtful, research-informed insights in a conversational style that makes complex topics easier to understand and apply.

Try It for Yourself

We invite you to explore the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT today. Whether you’re curious about intimacy, navigating a relationship challenge, or simply want to learn from a trusted expert, this tool offers a new way to connect with Dr. Six’s decades of wisdom.

👉 Chat with the Dr. Six GPT Now (Chat-GPT account required. Don’t worry if you don’t have one. The next screen will help you set it up).

As always, if you feel you would benefit from personalized counseling, Dr. Six continues to offer private sessions to individuals and couples seeking deeper, tailored support. You may schedule a free consultation here.

Closing Thought
For more than 30 years, Dr. Claudia Six has helped people feel less alone in their struggles and more empowered in their relationships. With the launch of her GPT, that guidance is now more accessible than ever—meeting you right where you are, 24/7, with warmth, expertise, and clarity.

The post Introducing the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on October 09, 2025 05:55

June 26, 2025

Bodies on the Beach

Bodies never cease to amaze me. The variety of shapes, gaits and postures which reveal so much about our sexuality and sensuality.
Loose hips vs tight, hunched over to not take up too much space vs proud and regal, loose and comfortable vs stiff… All this translates to sex.

Here I am in Maui for a week with my young son. I’ve been here many dozens of times over the past 20 years. One of my closest friends lives here.
The first place I go, after renting my jalopy (to blend in and avert beach break-ins) is my favorite beach. There’s a semi-sheltered cove frequented predominantly by locals. Mostly moms with young children. Lucky children. Very different than my childhood in Paris. My son frolics joyfully here for hours, amid the giant prehistoric looking turtles that come and rest on the beach.
Children, turtles, turquoise water, blue sky: the new and the old, heaven for the eyes and senses.

And bodies. All kinds of bodies. Tanned, muscular, tattooed bodies of seemingly professional beach worshippers. Obese female bodies where the bikini bottom disappears under the folds of her huge belly. But she’s here, in a bikini, not hiding, enjoying herself with her family.
There’s the bony breast implanted body paired with the lean muscular mini Speedo sporting guy (known as a “banana hammock”). Likes attract. And she knows there’s an unspoken physical standard she has to uphold to keep her position by his side. But maybe she thinks that’s what she brings to the table.
There’s the sturdy mama whose 1 yr old keiki is climbing on her like a jungle gym. She seems unperturbed as she lays on her belly, reading a book.
And there’s the occasional sunburned tourist body, walking by, taking in the whole environment, getting their bearings. Maybe they’re from Kansas or someplace remote in every sense.
There’s the pretty blonde hippy mama with her gorgeous blonde beach kids, and the adonis partner. No wedding bands. I notice these things. I wonder how long their commitment will survive. It’s easy to be in love in paradise.
And the teenage girls struggling to ignore their self-consciousness by moving in pairs.

Men have the luxury of mostly being on automatic pilot regarding their bodies. They just inhabit them. Women on the other hand, assuming a heterosexual model, are constantly being judged for their bodies. Men assess them for how fuckable they are. Sorry but it’s true.
And women assess them as competition for resources. In other words, they size each other up as potential rivalry for the men.
So women’s bodies are constantly being judged.
And add to that self judgement. It’s tiring and tedious.

Bodies never cease to amaze me. How people carry themselves, how their bodies move, the degree of self love they might reveal. And how all this impacts how people show up sexually. That’s my lens on the world. People tell you about themselves, more than they know.
You can’t assume that because one fits the cultural standard of beauty one is fully expressed and uninhibited in bed. And vice versa.
How bodies evolve over time. And how our feelings about our bodies evolve over time. I’ve always said that self-acceptance correlates with age, which is handy as your ass is sliding down the back of your thighs.
Our bodies are where we live.

What has your journey with your body been like?

A young boy and sea turtle on the beach

The post Bodies on the Beach appeared first on Dr. Claudia Six | Couples Therapy & Relationship Expert.

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on June 26, 2025 12:57

Erotic Integrity blog

Claudia Six
Know who you are erotically, embrace it and live it authentically. That is Erotic Integrity.
Follow Claudia Six's blog with rss.