Debra Smouse's Blog - Posts Tagged "idleness"
June 2021: on Idleness
As the calendar page turns to June, I've been thinking a lot about summertime. Especially the summers of my childhood.
I'm sure the summers in the 70's (and early 80's) would horrify your kids (or grandkids) these days. And probably terrify their parents when they realized that the one thing that underscored that time: boredom.
Rather than life revolving around a schedule of school and after school dance lessons, the majority of the time was up to me to fill.
And though I thought I'd simply die of boredom at various times throughout all those summers.
Looking back, I see the beauty in how it taught me to use idleness as a tool to better myself and my life.
And as excited as I am to return to "normal" life (as if life has ever been "normal"), what I am cautious about returning to is a life that is so full of commitments and schedules that it leaves no room for rest and idleness. Because while the Pandemic time has taught many women (and men) the value of slowing down to the speed of your own soul, there are a lot of folks out there that still equate being busy with worthiness.
I lived many a years with the belief that "Idle Hands are the Devil's Playthings", a saying that drove my need to prove my value by overscheduling myself to exhaustion. But in recent years, I have truly learned how much my mind, body, and soul needs quiet and contemplative time as a part of each day.
Much of my thought time this year has been focused on this very challenge: how can I stay connected and informed while also ensuring I get enough time disconnected so that I can best protect my tender parts?
I will confess that while I feel like "should" know the answer to this. It's been my "job" for more than a decade to help others find the answers to these types of questions....
Yet, like many of you, I am smack dab in the middle of discovering those answers - the truth of what is necessary to be devoted to my own mental and spiritual growth while not completely unplugging from the rest of the world and living like it's 1977.
The summertime seems like the perfect time to experiment with this, though, doesn't it? To harken back to the summers of childhood where the scales of balance are tilted away from being ruled by the outer world and spending more of my time tuned into my own, small life.
Because as boring as that sounds from the outside - and frankly to the part of me that still has the "hustle culture is good" muscle memory - it's a critical exercise to not just who I am today.
But who I want to be five years from now. And ten years from now.
So, for the rest of the summer (at least) I want to really embrace the value of idleness, prioritize rest, and make space for dreaming.
These are some of the questions I've been pondering and playing with:
**What will happen to my writing life if focused on my book rather than be distracted by social media?
**How much good work can I create if I were more devoted to my work in progress than creating for social media consumption?
**What will happen to my body when I prioritize going for a bike ride or a walk to get my blood pumping rather than sitting on the couch watching TV?
**Could taking a contemplative approach over harried hustling lead me towards making better decisions for the future me?
**Though I've always been a reader, what might reading more books than social media posts and news stories do for my mind and soul?
**If I prioritize taking evening walks with JB rather than scrolling on my phone, how might our relationship be better served?
**How might my soul be better served sitting on the porch for an hour watching the robin parents feeding their four hungry babies (and maybe my journal on my lap) instead of sitting inside with my computer on my lap?
**What will making space for real connection - zoom calls, lunch dates, and the writing of old fashioned letters - do for my relationships rather than relying solely a Facebook post for connection?
**Could my emotional health be improved if I chose to play - be it round of golf, a game of chess, or a day at an amusement park - rather than spend the day on my computer?
**Where might following a thread of curiosity lead me as an alternative to following a Twitter thread?
**In what ways can JB and I strengthen our relationship by spending more time doing "nothing" together rather than sitting side by side on our phones?
I got a good taste of this earlier this month. JB had some "use or lose" vacation days that he took recently. Honestly, it was eye-opening on how much we both needed idle time, tending our small, little world.
Because despite pouring over research about how the constant connection is harming how our brains work, it's always easier read than actually done.
Though we checked personal email and the news, we spent large swaths of time disconnected from the outside world. We rode bikes, took walks, played, golf, and tended household chores. We also spent a lot of time just BEING - sitting on the patio, watching the birds and the golfers go by.
My invitation to you this month is to make space for idleness in your own life so that you can recognize it's true value.
Maybe commit to not picking up your phone until after coffee and/or after some one-on-one time with your journal.
Perhaps you can make going for an after-dinner walk with your family or a friend instead of one more episode of whatever you're watching on Netflix.
Rather than getting breakfast or lunch from a drive-thru and eating it in your car on the way to "what's next", how would it feel to create a beautiful meal, place it on a tray, and enjoy it al fresco.
What would it be like to pick up a pen and dash off a note to a friend instead of scrolling through social media in hopes of an update from that friend?
Rather than always finding something to DO, what if you allowed time each week to simple be bored?
Instead of rushing to check your email, scrolling through social media, or obsessing over the news, what if you sat on the patio, read a book, or actually began writing that novel you always wanted to write?
What if you were to unplug completely at least one day per week and take a real Sabbath? Read a book, tend your flowers, nap with your partner, go out for a lovely meal....
Allow summertime to help you recall the nostalgia of childhood summers, even if it's only a few hours a week. Because within this act is an opportunity to rediscover who you always wanted to be...and who you want to be tomorrow, next year, and ten years from now.
If you'd like to read the June 2021 love note in full, you can do so here.
And, if you'd like to receive my Monthly Love Note, sign up here. You'll also receive my BRAND NEW free E-Book - Create a Life You Love:
Standards Help Curate Delightful Days .
Here's to rediscovering the value in boredom, learning how to be idle, and tending a life OFF line to make mental, emotional, and soul space for the next version of who you desire to be.
I'm sure the summers in the 70's (and early 80's) would horrify your kids (or grandkids) these days. And probably terrify their parents when they realized that the one thing that underscored that time: boredom.
Rather than life revolving around a schedule of school and after school dance lessons, the majority of the time was up to me to fill.
And though I thought I'd simply die of boredom at various times throughout all those summers.
Looking back, I see the beauty in how it taught me to use idleness as a tool to better myself and my life.
And as excited as I am to return to "normal" life (as if life has ever been "normal"), what I am cautious about returning to is a life that is so full of commitments and schedules that it leaves no room for rest and idleness. Because while the Pandemic time has taught many women (and men) the value of slowing down to the speed of your own soul, there are a lot of folks out there that still equate being busy with worthiness.
I lived many a years with the belief that "Idle Hands are the Devil's Playthings", a saying that drove my need to prove my value by overscheduling myself to exhaustion. But in recent years, I have truly learned how much my mind, body, and soul needs quiet and contemplative time as a part of each day.
Much of my thought time this year has been focused on this very challenge: how can I stay connected and informed while also ensuring I get enough time disconnected so that I can best protect my tender parts?
I will confess that while I feel like "should" know the answer to this. It's been my "job" for more than a decade to help others find the answers to these types of questions....
Yet, like many of you, I am smack dab in the middle of discovering those answers - the truth of what is necessary to be devoted to my own mental and spiritual growth while not completely unplugging from the rest of the world and living like it's 1977.
The summertime seems like the perfect time to experiment with this, though, doesn't it? To harken back to the summers of childhood where the scales of balance are tilted away from being ruled by the outer world and spending more of my time tuned into my own, small life.
Because as boring as that sounds from the outside - and frankly to the part of me that still has the "hustle culture is good" muscle memory - it's a critical exercise to not just who I am today.
But who I want to be five years from now. And ten years from now.
So, for the rest of the summer (at least) I want to really embrace the value of idleness, prioritize rest, and make space for dreaming.
These are some of the questions I've been pondering and playing with:
**What will happen to my writing life if focused on my book rather than be distracted by social media?
**How much good work can I create if I were more devoted to my work in progress than creating for social media consumption?
**What will happen to my body when I prioritize going for a bike ride or a walk to get my blood pumping rather than sitting on the couch watching TV?
**Could taking a contemplative approach over harried hustling lead me towards making better decisions for the future me?
**Though I've always been a reader, what might reading more books than social media posts and news stories do for my mind and soul?
**If I prioritize taking evening walks with JB rather than scrolling on my phone, how might our relationship be better served?
**How might my soul be better served sitting on the porch for an hour watching the robin parents feeding their four hungry babies (and maybe my journal on my lap) instead of sitting inside with my computer on my lap?
**What will making space for real connection - zoom calls, lunch dates, and the writing of old fashioned letters - do for my relationships rather than relying solely a Facebook post for connection?
**Could my emotional health be improved if I chose to play - be it round of golf, a game of chess, or a day at an amusement park - rather than spend the day on my computer?
**Where might following a thread of curiosity lead me as an alternative to following a Twitter thread?
**In what ways can JB and I strengthen our relationship by spending more time doing "nothing" together rather than sitting side by side on our phones?
I got a good taste of this earlier this month. JB had some "use or lose" vacation days that he took recently. Honestly, it was eye-opening on how much we both needed idle time, tending our small, little world.
Because despite pouring over research about how the constant connection is harming how our brains work, it's always easier read than actually done.
Though we checked personal email and the news, we spent large swaths of time disconnected from the outside world. We rode bikes, took walks, played, golf, and tended household chores. We also spent a lot of time just BEING - sitting on the patio, watching the birds and the golfers go by.
My invitation to you this month is to make space for idleness in your own life so that you can recognize it's true value.
Maybe commit to not picking up your phone until after coffee and/or after some one-on-one time with your journal.
Perhaps you can make going for an after-dinner walk with your family or a friend instead of one more episode of whatever you're watching on Netflix.
Rather than getting breakfast or lunch from a drive-thru and eating it in your car on the way to "what's next", how would it feel to create a beautiful meal, place it on a tray, and enjoy it al fresco.
What would it be like to pick up a pen and dash off a note to a friend instead of scrolling through social media in hopes of an update from that friend?
Rather than always finding something to DO, what if you allowed time each week to simple be bored?
Instead of rushing to check your email, scrolling through social media, or obsessing over the news, what if you sat on the patio, read a book, or actually began writing that novel you always wanted to write?
What if you were to unplug completely at least one day per week and take a real Sabbath? Read a book, tend your flowers, nap with your partner, go out for a lovely meal....
Allow summertime to help you recall the nostalgia of childhood summers, even if it's only a few hours a week. Because within this act is an opportunity to rediscover who you always wanted to be...and who you want to be tomorrow, next year, and ten years from now.
If you'd like to read the June 2021 love note in full, you can do so here.
And, if you'd like to receive my Monthly Love Note, sign up here. You'll also receive my BRAND NEW free E-Book - Create a Life You Love:
Standards Help Curate Delightful Days .
Here's to rediscovering the value in boredom, learning how to be idle, and tending a life OFF line to make mental, emotional, and soul space for the next version of who you desire to be.
