Debra Smouse's Blog - Posts Tagged "marilyn-ferguson"
July 2021: on Freedom
Here in the United States, we celebrate Independence Day in July. And as always, I am so grateful to be celebrating what it means to be free. I know there’s a lot happening in our world right now, but I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you how much I value freedom,
In fact, it’s one of my core values.
Though I know it's not popular to be "patriotic" these days, I make the choice to look beyond the rhetoric and divisiveness and simply honor who I am. That doesn’t mean to say that life is perfect or this country is perfect. I worry about the strife and divisiveness. I worry about how polarized politics and the world has become.
Yet, at the core of my being, I believe that people are basically good and decent.
Life isn't perfect by any means, but the older I get, the more I realize that personal freedom to me means living my deepest truths.
Though freedom - on the outside - seems to be a simple phrase - it's multifaceted when it comes to how I see freedom in my life.
I have always valued freedom from the time I was a small child, yet it's only in the last twenty years or so that it's been such an important part of my world.
On the outside, freedom seems to be about an external thing, but, like many things, it's an inside job.
Freedom, as a core value, is about going with the crowd as long as it fits your desires. And then, when what is popular or trending, no longer fits how you desire to live your daily life, it means veering from the path of what's expected.
This means that sometimes - or often - you will be deemed "weird" or "uncooperative".
Because making the choice that the opinions of others, while sometimes valuable, are never more important than your own opinion on the best way to live your life.
While this seems like a no-brainer as part of belonging to a family, being welcomed by a group, or simply living as a part of society at large.
Freedom is actually a challenging core value because we all have a deep, ingrained need to belong. And exercising your need to be free means that sometimes - or often - you rub other people wrong.
This, my dear, is a hard concept to grasp. Especially when you're a people pleaser. Or simply someone that loves nurturing others. Because choosing yourself as a priority can seem selfish, anti-social, confrontational, or simply weird.
While I appreciate not being the person that is outrageous for the sake of reaction or attention from others, dancing to the beat of your own drum for the sake of following your heart isn't something that is accepted by others.
This is often clearer when spending time with your family. You grew up with certain expectations - be it on how to behave, what to wear, what to eat, or what to believe - and sometimes we veer away from who we're expected to be in order to be who we were born to be.
So, when we exercise the deeper need we have to be ourselves, we rub against the trappings of expectations of the rest of the world...especially the expectations of people we love.
It was evident to me over the holidays. JB and I traveled to Florida to spend time with his family - especially his mom who is 91 1/2.
We had a wonderful time with everyone sharing meals and celebrating the holiday. Yet everyone slips back into the roles that had as children - or tries to poke their siblings for changing. It's not a bad thing honestly, when you know how to handle it...and when you're open to how people have changed, you can discover new things about them. Despite the fact you've known them from the moment you were born.
Everyone expects people to be who they always HAVE been rather than who they have evolved to become. Because none of us, and I mean none of us, are the same person today as who we were thirty or forty years ago.
This is where freedom becomes all the more beautiful To value who you have become while also loving and accepting all the past versions of ourselves alongside those we love is key. To genuinely love others means that sometimes you compromise in order to keep the peace. But, at the core of honoring yourself, you still have to BE yourself.
The helpmeet of freedom is forgiveness. Forgiveness for those who don't appreciate your individualism...and especially forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Because freedom means finding love for all versions of yourself.
While this isn't a simple thing, the biggest switch for me was when I came to understand that I am always at choice. I can think about all the ways I desire my life to be, but it I have to choose to take action in order to make it happen.
Yes, I believe that you have to first find love in what already is - whether it be your job, you love life, your body, your home - and then begin to create from there. We can only begin where we are, right? Yet, life isn't about making everything perfect, darling, it's about choosing to see moments as perfect.
Yet, we can find moments of perfection in this ordinary life. This has to begin with YOU.
This is what freedom is about to me. And while I know at times I may be preaching to the choir, I don't believe that hatred or bigotry or judgement is how the world becomes better. It begins at HOME in our own hearts. In the actions we take daily. In the choices we make day in and day out.
Freedom isn't an easy value. But it's worth every moment of pursuing it and honoring it. And while it seems like an external value, it's truly an inner value. So, while there is a lot to be done in the outer world, I still firmly believe the place to begin is within your own heart.
We each have a responsibility to ourselves and the world to be better humans. To live with compassion and empathy. To choose to make good choices, love our neighbors, and find the path to freedom for each person. Sometimes those choices are harder than others. Yet, I have the responsibility to keep choosing good and then to follow through with action.
Rather than becoming mired within our own mental prisons, we may have to daily - and often - choose ourselves and freedom. Whether it be lost in the need to be seen as perfect or the desire to be seen as strong and not vulnerable. Or to get lost in judging the world and others that we lose sight of where our own biases may be.
That's the kind of freedom that I am very grateful for. Each and every day. Each and every moment. We get to choose to love what's before us. We get to choose to thrive where we're planted. Most importantly, we get to choose the path of love, because even if we have to stretch a little, love, baby is always within reach.
I still firmly believe this despite how ugly the world seems at time.
If you'd like to read the July 2021 love note in full, you can do so here.
And, if you'd like to receive my Monthly Love Note, sign up here. You'll also receive my BRAND NEW free E-Book - Create a Life You Love:
Standards Help Curate Delightful Days .
No matter where you stand on politics and other social justice issues, please take one step towards freedom and choice today in your very own life.
Here's to choosing to honor ourselves as we pursue freedom as a core value on the path to becoming who you desire to be.
In fact, it’s one of my core values.
Though I know it's not popular to be "patriotic" these days, I make the choice to look beyond the rhetoric and divisiveness and simply honor who I am. That doesn’t mean to say that life is perfect or this country is perfect. I worry about the strife and divisiveness. I worry about how polarized politics and the world has become.
Yet, at the core of my being, I believe that people are basically good and decent.
Life isn't perfect by any means, but the older I get, the more I realize that personal freedom to me means living my deepest truths.
Though freedom - on the outside - seems to be a simple phrase - it's multifaceted when it comes to how I see freedom in my life.
I have always valued freedom from the time I was a small child, yet it's only in the last twenty years or so that it's been such an important part of my world.
On the outside, freedom seems to be about an external thing, but, like many things, it's an inside job.
Freedom, as a core value, is about going with the crowd as long as it fits your desires. And then, when what is popular or trending, no longer fits how you desire to live your daily life, it means veering from the path of what's expected.
This means that sometimes - or often - you will be deemed "weird" or "uncooperative".
Because making the choice that the opinions of others, while sometimes valuable, are never more important than your own opinion on the best way to live your life.
While this seems like a no-brainer as part of belonging to a family, being welcomed by a group, or simply living as a part of society at large.
Freedom is actually a challenging core value because we all have a deep, ingrained need to belong. And exercising your need to be free means that sometimes - or often - you rub other people wrong.
This, my dear, is a hard concept to grasp. Especially when you're a people pleaser. Or simply someone that loves nurturing others. Because choosing yourself as a priority can seem selfish, anti-social, confrontational, or simply weird.
While I appreciate not being the person that is outrageous for the sake of reaction or attention from others, dancing to the beat of your own drum for the sake of following your heart isn't something that is accepted by others.
This is often clearer when spending time with your family. You grew up with certain expectations - be it on how to behave, what to wear, what to eat, or what to believe - and sometimes we veer away from who we're expected to be in order to be who we were born to be.
So, when we exercise the deeper need we have to be ourselves, we rub against the trappings of expectations of the rest of the world...especially the expectations of people we love.
It was evident to me over the holidays. JB and I traveled to Florida to spend time with his family - especially his mom who is 91 1/2.
We had a wonderful time with everyone sharing meals and celebrating the holiday. Yet everyone slips back into the roles that had as children - or tries to poke their siblings for changing. It's not a bad thing honestly, when you know how to handle it...and when you're open to how people have changed, you can discover new things about them. Despite the fact you've known them from the moment you were born.
Everyone expects people to be who they always HAVE been rather than who they have evolved to become. Because none of us, and I mean none of us, are the same person today as who we were thirty or forty years ago.
This is where freedom becomes all the more beautiful To value who you have become while also loving and accepting all the past versions of ourselves alongside those we love is key. To genuinely love others means that sometimes you compromise in order to keep the peace. But, at the core of honoring yourself, you still have to BE yourself.
The helpmeet of freedom is forgiveness. Forgiveness for those who don't appreciate your individualism...and especially forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Because freedom means finding love for all versions of yourself.
While this isn't a simple thing, the biggest switch for me was when I came to understand that I am always at choice. I can think about all the ways I desire my life to be, but it I have to choose to take action in order to make it happen.
Yes, I believe that you have to first find love in what already is - whether it be your job, you love life, your body, your home - and then begin to create from there. We can only begin where we are, right? Yet, life isn't about making everything perfect, darling, it's about choosing to see moments as perfect.
Yet, we can find moments of perfection in this ordinary life. This has to begin with YOU.
This is what freedom is about to me. And while I know at times I may be preaching to the choir, I don't believe that hatred or bigotry or judgement is how the world becomes better. It begins at HOME in our own hearts. In the actions we take daily. In the choices we make day in and day out.
Freedom isn't an easy value. But it's worth every moment of pursuing it and honoring it. And while it seems like an external value, it's truly an inner value. So, while there is a lot to be done in the outer world, I still firmly believe the place to begin is within your own heart.
We each have a responsibility to ourselves and the world to be better humans. To live with compassion and empathy. To choose to make good choices, love our neighbors, and find the path to freedom for each person. Sometimes those choices are harder than others. Yet, I have the responsibility to keep choosing good and then to follow through with action.
Rather than becoming mired within our own mental prisons, we may have to daily - and often - choose ourselves and freedom. Whether it be lost in the need to be seen as perfect or the desire to be seen as strong and not vulnerable. Or to get lost in judging the world and others that we lose sight of where our own biases may be.
That's the kind of freedom that I am very grateful for. Each and every day. Each and every moment. We get to choose to love what's before us. We get to choose to thrive where we're planted. Most importantly, we get to choose the path of love, because even if we have to stretch a little, love, baby is always within reach.
I still firmly believe this despite how ugly the world seems at time.
If you'd like to read the July 2021 love note in full, you can do so here.
And, if you'd like to receive my Monthly Love Note, sign up here. You'll also receive my BRAND NEW free E-Book - Create a Life You Love:
Standards Help Curate Delightful Days .
No matter where you stand on politics and other social justice issues, please take one step towards freedom and choice today in your very own life.
Here's to choosing to honor ourselves as we pursue freedom as a core value on the path to becoming who you desire to be.
