Shawna Hunter's Blog - Posts Tagged "reflecting"
Painful lessons of the Past
Listening through my old books is not a fun experience for me. With the duel benefits of hindsight and my increased knowledge of writing I find my older works ALMOST embarrassing. Unnecessary words like "however" and "slightly" which the narrators oh-so-helpfully over pronounce make me cringe and there's so much that I would have changed had I written them today.
That said the walk down memory lane also stirs old feelings and memories in me. References I've forgotten over time and feelings I've since worked through were the catalyst for these stories and as such their ghosts still haunt the pages as I go. Thinking back I can almost boil each book down to what I intended it to be and see how my interests as a writer have evolved. It creates an interesting timeline which I don't mind sharing:
Their Wild Little Girl - Vacation. This book is the closest to straight up porn of all my works. I wrote it at a time when I was very stressed and needed an escape into fantasy. At the same time it includes reflections on the moral quandary posed by BDSM desires (especially for a dom) and I can see that I was at least starting to think about themes I'd return to later.
Their Meddling Aunt - Perhaps my most underappreciated book due to the issues with publishing it. The story, again, is near porn and even has tongue in cheek step-mother themes. Here, however, I had family firmly on my mind (not in the gross way). It began with Jessica struggling with fears brought up in the conclusion of Wild Little Girl and ends with the threesome a stronger unit than ever before. The journey is all about coming to terms with who you are and how you fit into your family and I wrote it at a time when I too was struggling with these issues.
Submission Backstory - The story of a woman lured by temptation into a life changing decision. It's the least subtle of all my books (to my ears at least) because the metaphors are simple. It's me coming to terms with being an erotica author and realizing that it wouldn't be a 1 off thing (Meddling had yet to be rejected at the time). Perhaps that's why people always assume that I relate most strongly to Alyssa?
Beauty and the Bitch - My most popular book. This one was actually a lot of fun and fun was the theme of it. I was dealing with the fallout of being an erotica author and the reactions this provoked in friends and loved ones. For Isabelle her concerns were more about her body confidence and she learned how fitness could help her through them while also discovering its similarity to BDSM. For me it was a journey of dealing with my author confidence and finding the argument that BDSM was rather like fitness. Izzy and I were essentially hitting the same theme from different ends.
Master May I? - The germ of the idea for this story came from the way I lost my parents. Both died of long term, debilitating illnesses. That's why I can't read certain chapters without crying. The rest was built on discoveries I made as I came out as a BDSM author (to those who know the real me behind the pen name). I lost some people but I met so many more who accepted me and welcomed me. That community helped me get through the losses and taught me that living life is the best way to heal old wounds. I do feel that that came across in the story in the end.
The Domme's Daughter - I work from home in my day job and as an author. I spend most of my days in a dark room all alone and only go out on weekends or to the gym. I don't mind the loneliness (as an aspie I welcome it) but I understand how people would and thinking about how that isolation would effect a normal person's views on society inspired the story. How often have I been caught talking to myself?
The Girl Named Flower - I know it's not out yet but don't worry this'll be spoiler free ;) This is part of a 3 story arc that will shake up Brooke's Hollow. It reflects my desire to grow as an author and work in more observations about the world. I resisted this early on (I do love discussing controversial subjects) because I thought I lacked the skill to give it the light touch fiction needs. Now I feel I've grown enough to address interesting issues in the real world in a light, implied way via fiction and (as a bonus) bring my characters together in an ensemble story. It wasn't easy to get this far and I've had a lot of growing pains along the way but now I feel I'm ready for the next evolution.
I only hope I'll still be able to read my older works once it's done.
That said the walk down memory lane also stirs old feelings and memories in me. References I've forgotten over time and feelings I've since worked through were the catalyst for these stories and as such their ghosts still haunt the pages as I go. Thinking back I can almost boil each book down to what I intended it to be and see how my interests as a writer have evolved. It creates an interesting timeline which I don't mind sharing:
Their Wild Little Girl - Vacation. This book is the closest to straight up porn of all my works. I wrote it at a time when I was very stressed and needed an escape into fantasy. At the same time it includes reflections on the moral quandary posed by BDSM desires (especially for a dom) and I can see that I was at least starting to think about themes I'd return to later.
Their Meddling Aunt - Perhaps my most underappreciated book due to the issues with publishing it. The story, again, is near porn and even has tongue in cheek step-mother themes. Here, however, I had family firmly on my mind (not in the gross way). It began with Jessica struggling with fears brought up in the conclusion of Wild Little Girl and ends with the threesome a stronger unit than ever before. The journey is all about coming to terms with who you are and how you fit into your family and I wrote it at a time when I too was struggling with these issues.
Submission Backstory - The story of a woman lured by temptation into a life changing decision. It's the least subtle of all my books (to my ears at least) because the metaphors are simple. It's me coming to terms with being an erotica author and realizing that it wouldn't be a 1 off thing (Meddling had yet to be rejected at the time). Perhaps that's why people always assume that I relate most strongly to Alyssa?
Beauty and the Bitch - My most popular book. This one was actually a lot of fun and fun was the theme of it. I was dealing with the fallout of being an erotica author and the reactions this provoked in friends and loved ones. For Isabelle her concerns were more about her body confidence and she learned how fitness could help her through them while also discovering its similarity to BDSM. For me it was a journey of dealing with my author confidence and finding the argument that BDSM was rather like fitness. Izzy and I were essentially hitting the same theme from different ends.
Master May I? - The germ of the idea for this story came from the way I lost my parents. Both died of long term, debilitating illnesses. That's why I can't read certain chapters without crying. The rest was built on discoveries I made as I came out as a BDSM author (to those who know the real me behind the pen name). I lost some people but I met so many more who accepted me and welcomed me. That community helped me get through the losses and taught me that living life is the best way to heal old wounds. I do feel that that came across in the story in the end.
The Domme's Daughter - I work from home in my day job and as an author. I spend most of my days in a dark room all alone and only go out on weekends or to the gym. I don't mind the loneliness (as an aspie I welcome it) but I understand how people would and thinking about how that isolation would effect a normal person's views on society inspired the story. How often have I been caught talking to myself?
The Girl Named Flower - I know it's not out yet but don't worry this'll be spoiler free ;) This is part of a 3 story arc that will shake up Brooke's Hollow. It reflects my desire to grow as an author and work in more observations about the world. I resisted this early on (I do love discussing controversial subjects) because I thought I lacked the skill to give it the light touch fiction needs. Now I feel I've grown enough to address interesting issues in the real world in a light, implied way via fiction and (as a bonus) bring my characters together in an ensemble story. It wasn't easy to get this far and I've had a lot of growing pains along the way but now I feel I'm ready for the next evolution.
I only hope I'll still be able to read my older works once it's done.
