Amanda Ryan's Blog

A soundtrack to a book? Hell yes.

I’m one of those writers who has to have some sort of soundtrack playing in the background when I write. My husband thinks I’m nuts. I think it’s just the dancer in me. Music gives me ALL THE FEELS. When I need to write a scene and am struggling, I’ll pull out a certain tone of song that will help me “get to that place.”

I pulled together some of the music of Keeper, a soundtrack, if you will.

Florence +The Machine’s album Ceremonials was a huge inspiration for me. The first song that I imagined Lia singing in the great hall of Sybil was Shake it Out. The spirit of the song was completely, absolutely Amalia.

 

If I had to pick a “main” theme song for Keeper, it would be Florence + The Machine’s No Light, No Light. The lyrics always spoke to me. 
You are the hole in my head. You are the space in my bed. You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said. You are the night time fear, you are the warning when it’s clear. When it’s over you’re the start. You’re my head and you’re my heart.

An amazing song, so much so I put it in my playlist twice (one acoustic).

My runner up for theme song would have to be the cover of Wicked Game by Ursine Vulpine ft. Annaca. DUDE. This song is STUNNING. So angsty & dark. SO MUCH LOVE.

Sights, by London Grammar

 Bring on the Men, from the musical Jekyll & Hyde

That first time Ilyas ever hears Amalia sing is when she’s working in the brothel. She and Kolin perform their song while the courtesans put on a show. I imagined it being something pretty cheeky like this, theatre nerd that I am.

And last but not least, here is what the 18th century song My Thing is My Own sounds like:

Check out the rest of my tunes on Spotify! If you’re like me and like dark, emo music, you’ll enjoy this list.

Pick up Keeper now, available exclusively through Amazon!

The Music of Keeper from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

 

In which Amanda, a new author who is looking for some crazy-ass way to promote her debut book, forces one of her main characters to do an interview with her. 

Amanda: Hi Ilyas. I appreciate you doing this. I thought this would be kind of interesting, you know, me as a new author and and all.

Ilyas: (offers a small smile) Was there a choice in the matter?

Amanda: No. Not really.

Ilyas: (smirks) Shall we begin?

Amanda: Let’s do this.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect of him, so I hand him some index cards with ideas for questions. I catch a sighting of a single, quirked brow, and I smile to myself. 

Ilyas: Why are you grinning?

Amanda: Your expression. I know it well, but I’ve ever been the cause of it. I think Amalia would appreciate my reaction.

His expression subtly softens at the mention of Amalia, and I bite back another resulting grin. 

Ilyas: First question. (he eyes the first index card) What inspired you to write this story?

Amanda: Why are you scowling?

Ilyas: It’s a predictable question.

Amanda: But one people would be interested to know the answer to.

Ilyas: I think a better question would be why did it take you so long to write it?

Amanda: (sighs) What’s the matter, Ilyas? Didn’t you like being stuck inside my head for nearly ten years?

Ilyas: You move at a snail’s pace, woman. And you have a nasty habit of stopping in the middle of action sequences.

Amanda: (laughs) Like riding on horseback while being chased by armed soldiers?

Ilyas: Longest damn ride of my life. And that’s just one example. What about the one where you left me on my knees with a weapon over my head?

Amanda: I don’t hear you complaining about the love scenes, and I seem to recall those taking particular time for me to write.

His head cants slightly in consideration and he grins. 

Ilyas: Touche. Why did those take you so long to write? Not that I’m complaining. I appreciate your dedication.

Amanda: Truthfully? It took me awhile to build up the courage. I’m not a prude, but for me there was a tangible difference between reading sex scenes and writing your own. I felt silly and almost bashful.

(Ilyas scoffs at this). You’ll recall it took a few drafts to get me to the point where we finally ended up.

Ilyas: Yes, I remember. I applaud your bravery.

Amanda: I’m sure you do.

Ilyas: But you managed your way through it.

Amanda: It was a learning process. Still is, in fact.

Ilyas: So you say it took you about ten years to write this story. Why?

Amanda: It was an evolutionary process. Your story branched off from another story I already had established in the world of Aren. You were the first character to come to me, and I had to find your story within that world.

Ilyas: I was the first?

Amanda: Yes. Don’t sound so pleased.

Ilyas: As someone who knows me so well, you’re aware of just how pleased this would make me.

Amanda: What’s your next question?

Ilyas: But ten years?

Amanda: You’re not going to let this one go, are you?

Ilyas: Ten. Years.

Amanda: All right. Here’s what it is. I enjoyed writing since I was a kid, but I never really took it seriously. It was an escape for me. I’m a dreamer – my head is always off somewhere else thinking of other things. I work a “normal” 40hr job, and I have a bunch of other hobbies that keep me busy, too. Finding the time and discipline to make myself sit down and write was a real bitch. So…it took ten years.

Ilyas: How did it feel when you finally finished it?

Amanda: Wow. That’s a good question.

Ilyas: Yea of little faith.

Amanda: I felt pretty damn proud of myself. I was excited. And a little scared. And sad.

Ilyas: Scared and sad? Why?

Amanda: Scared because I had kept my personal promise to finish what I had started, and it meant allowing others to read it. And sad because the story was over! My time with you and Amalia had come to a close.

Ilyas: Ah. I see. So no more stories of us?

Amanda: (I have to smile at this. It’s a trick question, though I don’t think he intends it that way) I’m not saying never.

Ilyas: So you have any other ideas for Amalia and myself?

Amanda: Oh, tons. I know pretty much exactly what happens to you. And your descendants. And I know your past, too. Your story isn’t necessarily regulated to the future alone, you know.

Ilyas: (the man becomes very still in a manner I recognize as being uncomfortable)

Amanda: This bothers you, doesn’t it?

Ilyas: Of course.

Amanda: Have faith, Ilyas. (I wink at him)

Ilyas: (he smiles) You’re using my own words against me. Well done.

Amanda: Next question?

Ilyas: (reads from card) What was the inspiration for Ilyas san Merin. Really?

Amanda: Aren’t you the least bit curious?

Ilyas: It would mean nothing to me, as I have no idea who these people would be. But fine. Go ahead. Amuse me.

Amanda: I think you would get along very well with Ezio Auditore.

(I have a good giggle at Ilyas’ expense and he just impatiently shakes his head)

Amanda (cont): You’re not based on any one thing in particular, but you definitely have roots in Assassin’s Creed, a video game series by Ubisoft. Dominant heroes who kick ass in the shadows to defeat evil. Lots of cool action. Slick one-liners. You know.

Ilyas: No. But I get where you’re going.

Amanda: Amalia came about as the yin to your yang. I needed a heroine who was in a powerless position, but not powerless herself. Smart, quick, and brave. And perhaps a little bit foolish.

Ilyas: Why did you make her a singer?

Amanda: All of my characters have a tiny bit of me in them. I sing. I actually have a degree in theatre. So this was my way of giving Lia a bit of flair.

Ilyas: You sing?

Amanda: Yes.

Ilyas: What does Amalia’s voice sound like to you?

Amanda: I hear her sound a bit like Adele. A rich sound that, when people hear it, it forces them to stop and take notice.

Ilyas: I think I would like this Adele.

Amanda: Everyone likes Adele.

Ilyas: Next question – what was your favorite scene to write?

Amanda: UGH. I was just thinking about this, and I was having a hell of a time picking. I think I figured it out, though. I’m going to go with the hot spring scene.

Ilyas: (chuckles) Why that one?

Amanda: Because the banter between you and Lia cracks me up. She isn’t afraid to challenge you, and it’s enjoyable seeing you get flustered. And also because it’s when she realizes the depth of her attraction to you, and how dangerous it is.

Ilyas: I didn’t find our banter enjoyable, at first. It was exasperating.

Amanda: But you appreciate it now, don’t you.

Ilyas: I appreciate that you wrote someone who matches me so well.

Amanda: What was your favorite scene?

Ilyas: Mine? Easy. Guess.

Amanda: No way, dude. I’d probably guess a sex scene.

Ilyas: Close. The Red Dress.

Amanda: (laughs) Not a sex scene at all.

Ilyas: Might as well have been.

Amanda: Next question. We gotta wrap this up.

Ilyas: Ah. (flips through index cards) Here’s a good one. What’s next?

Amanda: No. Next question.

Ilyas: Why?

Amanda: Because I don’t want to make a liar out of myself. Next question!

Ilyas: That’s not ominous at all. (draws another card) How many books will be in The Dynasty Saga, and how are they all related?

Amanda: A two-fer! Nice. My goal is three books, all stand-alones. They are all related by being set in Aren over different time periods. Your story is a prequel, of sorts, what I think of as the Early Dynasty of Aren. Reign will be set in the middle dynasty.

Ilyas: And will there be any references to Lia or myself or the events of Keeper?

Amanda: Subtly, yes. My goal is to make each novel independent of the other, but for those who read them all, they will pick up on nuances. You know…little nerdy moments that make you go, “…OH! I get it! That’s cool.”

Ilyas: Anything else to add?

Amanda: Just a big thank you to the readers! I’m really excited to share this story. I had a lot of fun bringing you and Lia to the page. I’m looking forward to sharing you with others.

Ilyas: So we’re done?

Amanda: Yes. Thanks for your help.

Ilyas: My pleasure. (chuckles)

 

KEEPER, Book One of The Dynasty Saga, available exclusively through Amazon 9/27

Ilyas san Merin Interviews Amanda Ryan from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

I’m sitting here on a Wednesday night, waiting for my “Proteins Blend” Steamed veggies to cook and getting ready for my weekly Zumba class. Not for the first time, it dawns on me the many different “hats” I’ve chosen to wear – singer, dancer, teacher, writer, artist, blah blah…and that feeling of “switching gears” strikes me harder than usual. Tonight I would love to curl up with my lap top and continue to hammer out the final scenes Keeper, but alas, I have other commitments. Some days it’s easier to switch hats than others. I remind myself that once I’m at my class tonight I’ll have a blast with my students (I ALWAYS do). Then I watch a few videos of The Fitness Marshall and laugh my ass off because this guys is phenomenal and I hope to channel his amazing energy.

I have learned over the past year that it’s effing hard to write. When I set my personal goal of publishing one of my stories, it came with a bunch of commitments, one of which is…um…well…YOU HAVE TO WRITE. Making yourself sit down and write is WORK. Sometimes you just want to come home from your 9-5 and profess your undying love to a bag of potato chips and a marathon of Golden Girls, but dammit, you gotta get those revisions done or else you’re gonna fall behind. Which I did.

Lesson Learned.

Well, let me clarify. I didn’t waste my time on TV (ok, maybe a little), but I got sidetracked by a crazy flu that had me down and out for two weeks.

Going on this journey as a writer has been interesting. I’ve already had plenty of #youknownothingjonsnow moments. It’s been fun. A bit stressful, but still fun. And at the end of the day I’m going to have a finished book, which is hella amazing. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next as I get closer to my next deadline.

Thanks for sticking with me, my lovelies.

Lessons Learned from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

I’ve had this series queued up on my Netflix lineup for awhile, mostly because I’m a huge fan girl of Gillian Anderson (Dana Scully FOEVAH) and I love dark crime series. Mr. RD and I have thoroughly enjoyed dark UK crime shows in the past (Wire in the Blood, Sherlock, etc.), and this looked promising. It sat unwatched, however, for a good long while until last week, when I randomly decided it was time to give it a go. Okay, it probably wasn’t as random as much as wanting to see Jamie Dornan’s take on a Dexter-esque role and whether or not he’d pull it off. With all this Fifty Shades craziness going on, I wanted to see some of his “older” stuff. I had no idea of this guy’s acting chops (while I knew Anderson had some serious swagger). 

The Premise:

Set in Belfast (Northern Ireland), we follow two opposites sides of a story – the serial killer Paul Spector (Dornan) and the cop/Superintendent Stella Gibson (Anderson) who’s been brought in to track him down. Gibson is being loaned to the case from London because the cops in Belfast have made no progress in a murder of a high-profile woman with serious political connections. When Stella steps in she connects this case to a prior murder, and before long they realize they have a fetishistic serial killer on their hands.

Season One gives us five, hour long episodes. Season Two, which ended this past December (2014), gives us a few more, including an hour and a half season closer. At this point there are whispers of a third season, though nothing official.

The Gist:

If you enjoy dark, twisted and angsty dramas then this is the show for you. Anderson delivers a stellar performance. Stella Gibson is a dream, meaty role for any female actor, and Anderson excels in stillness. Stella knows what she wants and knows how to go about making it happen, be it for work or for personal pleasure. It’s a fantastic character and it’s fun watching her kick ass and take names amid a cast of male supporting characters.

Conversely there’s our antagonist, Paul Spector, who starts out as only what I can call an Irish Dexter Morgan. Jamie Dornan didn’t really begin to shine for me until the second season, though I can’t honestly say if this is because of his acting or just the role itself. Paul Spector is pretty boring by day then outright spooky by night when he lets his demons loose. He’s married with two young kids and works as a grief counselor. His proclivities likely stem from the fact that his mother committed suicide when he was young and he was subsequently bounced around in the foster system. He makes a pretty good attempt at mainstreaming until he indulges his darkness, i.e. breaking into women’s homes to steal their underwear, then eventually strangling them slowly and posing them so he can take pictures.

Spector didn’t really do much for me until his character started to let his serial killer side dominate, and we don’t really get into the nitty gritty of this until the end of the first season and into the second. This makes sense, given that the first few episodes we’re only really seeing the second time he’s committed murder. By the end of season one he’s really only starting to relish the pleasure he gets not only by laying claim to his dark side, but also toying with Stella.

And ooooooooh does he toy with her. Mind you, she dishes it right back, and guys….GUYS…it’s brilliant to watch.

This was an excellent find. Mr. RD even enjoyed it. We squirmed through the last few episodes watching the plot lines unfold. While Anderson and Dornan easily take the lead, it can’t go without mentioning that a few supporting roles really dig in their claws. plays Katie Benedetto, a 15 turned 16 year old psychopath in the making who becomes Paul Spector’s plaything amid a ruse of being his reverse Lolita. I hated this character. HATED. Katie saunters about with her teenage “I KNOW EVERYTHING WOE IS ME” attitude thinking she’s giving the ultimate EFF YOU to the world. At first she’s unknowingly playing into the hands of Spector, but she figures out quickly there’s a darkness that isn’t manufactured to this dude. Instead of running away screaming, she encourages it. Turns out she’s just as messed up as Spector, and I wanted to throat punch this chick SOOO bad. It was fantastic. Any character that inspires such a visceral response in me is one that earns high marks in my book.

Overall:

Excellent series! The only complaints I have are 1) the editing and 2) the ending. The editing seemed random and superfluous at times. Like….why did I really need to see a montage of Stella walking down a hotel hallway? We’re treated to some random montages of footage that doesn’t really progress our plot in any real direction, and I found myself wondering what the point was.

As for the ending, I can’t really hold fault. Only two seasons are available, and with talk of a third, we’re left waiting to see what further hard conclusions we can be given. The ending of season two offers enough closure in its own way, though with all the effort extended into really milking out the complex relationships between all our characters it fell a little flat for me. However, the confrontation between Stella and Paul that we’ve been building up to for FOREVER is pretty epic.

Now, I’m going to say this and I know I’ll piss off some FSOG fangirls…BUT…Paul Spector is pretty much Christian Grey, except for the actual “I kill women” thing. I mean really. He is. JUST SAYIN.

The Fall is totally worth checking out. It’s only available on Netflix in the US.

The Fall – TV Series from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

Rating: B+          Raunch: 3.5/5          Romance: 3.5/5

Redonk Nutshell: Lovers battle through cartel to find each other & themselves

If I had to pick one word to describe book two in The Artists Trilogy it would be transformation. 

First, if you haven’t read the 1st in the series, Sins & Needles, stop here. Don’t go any further until you do. You need to read it in order to understand what’s happening in Shooting Scars.

Book two picks up right where book one left off, and we switch back and forth perspectives between what’s happening with Ellie and what’s happening with Cameron. Ellie is forced to deal with her not-so-buried past with Javier while Cameron puts his messed up ex aside and teams up with Gus to track down Ellie.

It’s painful at times, but OH SO WORTH IT. Ellie has pretty much hit as rock bottom as she can go, and I look forward to seeing where she goes from here.  Watching her try to deal with her feelings with Javier, both past and present, is fascinating, though gut wrenching. I still don’t necessarily like Ellie, but I root for her regardless. I want her to figure out her sh*t and get straight, but the thing with Ellie is…what really is straight?

Then there’s Cameron. Oh Cameron, Cameron, Cameron. He takes a page straight from Walter White  in Shooting Scars and we see a dark, dark side of this man he himself has only barely come to grips with. Despite how completely screwed up Ellie is and how much she hurts him, he continues to find a way to stand his ground while remaining a pillar for her.

It’s safe to say if these two manage to make it out alive of the incredibly ridiculously evil cartel situation they’ve embedded themselves in, they probably won’t recognize themselves. There’s few things better than tortured characters untwisting themselves, and Ms. Halle has gotten them all sorts of tangled. The Artists Trilogy continues to be chocked full of suspense, romance, and heartache.

This is definitely a series to check out and stick with. I look forward for what’s to come for Ellie and Camden.

Shooting Scars by Karina Halle

The Artists Trilogy

Shooting Scars by Karina Halle from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

Rating: A        Romance: 3/5       Raunch: 3/5

Redonk Nutshell: Con-artist returns home & is forced to face her past

Ellie Watt has been on the move since she was a child. Born to grifter parents, she learned young how to pull cons. She returns home after a job turned sour with the intent to possibly start fresh (knowing fully well she likely won’t). Her uncle reluctantly allows her a place to stay until she gets on her feet. In the process of looking for a job she comes across an old “friend” from high school, Camden McQueen. He’s a good looking guy, covered in tattoos and nicely filling out his gruff look. Ellie and Camden have an angsty history, and Ellie is torn between befriending him and/or ripping him off. She kind of sorta puts pieces in place to do both, but Camden, having received the brunt of the crappy end of the stick in life, is ready for it. Tables quickly turn on Ellie, putting her in a place she’s rarely in – serious trouble.  Cameron offers her a deal, and together they team up to make new lives for themselves. What they don’t count on is mutual attraction…and drug lords.

What a hell of a ride. Ellie isn’t 100% a likable character, and I give Ms. Halle a lot of credit for that. It takes balls to write a character a reader can’t immediately root for. You can even say the same for Camden, in way, though it’s easier to like Camden than it is to like Ellie. At least for me. They both bear some serious scars, both physical and emotional, and watching them epically mess it up is like watching a car wreck. You just…can’t look away. It’s incredibly raw.

And it’s fantastic.

This is a great read I’d recommend to anyone looking for something darker and ragged. Be forewarned, this is a trilogy and book one ends on a cliffhanger of sorts.

Sins & Needles by Karina Halle

The Artists Trilogy

Sins & Needles by Karina Halle from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

 Rating: B        Romance: 4/5          Raunch: 3/5

Redonk Nutshell: Two unlikely people hiding in plain sight fall in love

I always enjoy whatever Courtney Milan has to offer up, and The Heiress Effect was no different. That said, I had a hard time finding my words in describing this installment into her Brothers Sinister series. I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t one of my favorite. Why, you ask? Well, I suppose it left me wanting in a certain “swoon” way. Yet, this is in no fault of the author’s. No. It actually is because of the brilliant way these characters are written. These two are not swooners by any stretch of the imagination. They think WAAAAY too much. It’s in their nature. So, these two very cautiously traipse around each other in a way that is very atypical in a historical romance, which makes for a very unique read.

Our two leads are at opposite ends of the spectrum, yet have basically the same idea in mind. Bide their time to stay out of the lime light to ultimately get their end goal. Jane Fairfield has a ridiculous inheritance that draws the attention of everyone in the ton. She has no desire for it, though, and she works to make herself the anti-belle of the ball without outright ostracizing herself. She takes things just a bit…too…far, but not far enough to truly get herself in hot water. It’s a brilliant, yet exhausting, game she plays in order to bide her time until she comes of age. It’s a move to protect her sister, the two of them under her uncle’s less-than-stellar care until she turns 21 OR gets married. Thus, why she’s trying to turn away all potential suitors and money seekers.

Then there’s Oliver Marshall. He’s the bastard son of a duke and has worked his butt off to work his way up through the ugly taunts and dismissals of the ton. He’s a barrister, and he’s hoping to weasel his way into the good graces of the lords with votes in order to make a change in parliament. He’s whip sharp smart, despite playing a quiet man that keeps to himself, and he also bides his time putting up with men he can barely stand in order to turn the tables in his favor.

These two meet when a lord asks Oliver to put Jane in her place in exchange for his vote, to more or less shame her and finally put the nail in the coffin that is pain-in-the-arse-yet-harmless-Jane. Oliver truly does have moral standards, so when he’s presented with this dilemma he takes awhile to consider it, going so far to bring Jane in on it. Jane is far from a ninny, though she plays the part brilliantly, and when these two, who are equally matched in the outmaneuvering department, come head to head, it makes for some seriously interesting moves.

Not your typical historical romance, here, folks. There is flirtation, but it’s slow to burn (and burn it does). I very much enjoyed this tale and look forward to the next in the series.

The Heiress Effect by Courtney Milan

The Heiress Effect by Courtney Milan from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

Rating: A     Romance: 3.5/5      Raunch: 3/5

Redonk Nutshell: Dragon speaker gets pulled into dragon politics while dealing with a former flame

DRACIM agent Myrna Banks has spent the last year of her life cleaning up a cluster of a mess when her ex took off with documents relating to her work. When aforementioned ex, Trian, walks back into her life bringing with him the chance of a lifetime to work with a notorious dragon lord AND fellow DRACIM agent, Myrna can’t really turn him away. She’s not sure why Train betrayed her the way he did, but Myrna is able to mostly turn off her resentment toward him in order to help negotiate a truce between two warring dragon lords. Mostly. Okay, it’s harder than she thought it’d be, and when her resentment starts fading in contrast to her attraction to him, she really starts to berate herself. But Trian carries more secrets than she realizes, and when things really start to get dangerous, she comes to see how deeply involved with the dragons he truly is.

I LOVE, LOVE LOVE this book. What an awesome new fantasy series! I have a soft spot for dragon stories, though I’m kind of particular about the details. There are quite a few shapeshifter/dragon series out there, but very few that really stand out. Never Deal with Dragons definitely does. Ms. Christensen really kicks up the world building, making it a fascinating read as we tail our heroine, Myrna, and her daily trials as a scorned DRACIM agent. I cracked up quite a few times at Myrna’s internal monologue. What really appealed her to me, though, was her vulnerability. She’s kick-ass without being an ass-kicker. She’s more of a cerebral lead as opposed to a sword toting one, and I found it refreshing. This isn’t to say Myrna can’t hold her own, but she definitely knows her limits.

And our hero? He’s an interesting dude, too. It’s obvious from the get-go that there’s more to Trian than meets the eye. I can’t say I was as surprised as Myrna was when the truth of his station comes out, but that didn’t deter from my enjoyment.

Like dragons? Enjoy fantasy? Definitely give Never Deal with Dragons, an RWA Golden Heart Winner, a go! I’ll be keeping an eye out for the next in the series! 

Lorenda has a contest going on over at her blog where you can win an e-reader. CHECK IT OUT!

Never Deal with Dragons by Lorenda Christensen

Never Deal with Dragons by Lorenda Christensen from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

An article posted March 26th, 2012 in The Atlantic by author Maura Kelly challenges us to commit to a Slow-Books Manifesto.  The idea is this: read 30 minutes a day, every day, mostly classics, to enrich your brainpower and ultimately your life.  Anything non-literary doesn’t count.  That means newspapers, magazines, non-fiction, or foo-foo reading don’t count toward your daily tally.  Ms. Kelly says, “By playing with language, plot structure, and images, it challenges us cognitively even as it entertains. It invites us to see the world in a different way, demands that we interpret unusual descriptions, and pushes our memories to recall characters and plot details.”

I call bullshit.

Well, sorta.  Any person worth their salt would agree that committing to reading at least thirty minutes a day wouldn’t be a bad thing.  In a world packed with immediate satisfaction (TWITTER! TEXTING! TEH FACEBOOKZ!), it’s good to have a bit of old fashioned mind stimulation a la word play and imagination.  So, yes, Ms. Kelly, we should read more. Where this crazy train derails is the attempt to define something as “literary,” or rather having literary merit.

Wait! We can’t stop here! This is smart people territory!  Please excuse me as I open up a can of semantic whoop-ass.

“Literary” is an adjective typically pertaining to the nature of books and writings.  So what we really need to decide, then, is: what is literature?  Merriam Webster says, “writings in prose or verse; especially : writings having excellence of form or expression and expressing ideas of permanent or universal interest.” Oxford Dictionary says, “written works, especially those considered of superior or lasting artistic merit.”

In other words, a work of writing consisting of excellent form and/or expression, typically dealing with universal and enduring themes has a high likeliness of being classified as “literary fiction.” Most people wouldn’t argue “the classics” as being literature.  There’s a reason we study them in school.  What bugs me is the notion of there being no merit the “lesser” fictions as well. Gah…lesser fictions.  Puh-leese.  I would imagine many romance novels published today would fly waaaay under Ms. Kelly’s “literature radar.”  Too bad for her because she’s missing out. Some of the most fascinating characters I’ve come across have been in romantic fiction (Jericho Barrons anyone? Smite Turner?)

I typically classify a book as “literature” when it takes a bite out of me and leaves a scar.  It doesn’t matter what genre it is, or whether it’s fiction or non-fiction.  Any work of art that manages to make me pause, stop, and think earns a merit badge in my ledger.  A good book is one that enthralls you and pushes boundaries.  It develops us emotionally. Now, let’s be honest – not all books can pull that off.  In fact, most are palate cleansers. But the thing is, we need the palate cleansers, otherwise we’d have no distinguishing sense of flavor.

Generally, I’m getting the impression Ms. Kelly is telling us to read “smart” books, books that are thick and packed with adjectives creatively linked together.  Well, here’s a news flash: Fancy words do not genius make.  Here’s an example:

Hope dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Vindicated, by Dashboard Confessional

Ain’t this hipster-lyric pretty? But What The Hell Does It Mean!?  If I have to read a sentence more than three times in order to understand it then something is terribly wrong. If reading is meant to develop the human ability to empathize and communicate, I sure as shit better be able to understand what you’re trying to tell me in prose.  “Literature doesn’t just make us smarter, however; it makes us us, shaping our consciences and our identities.” If I walked around talking like this I’d eventually get the shit kicked out of me and have no friends, mostly because no one would ever figure out what the hell I was talking about.  Then again, people might just leave me alone because I’d be absolutely terrifying.

And never mind the fact that many “classics”  were initially published as serials.  Can you imagine One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez published in monthly increments, or Cormac McCarthy snippets in your daily newspaper?  The kind of changes the game, a bit, don’t you think?  Or at least the tone.

And can we talk about television?  Kelly writes, “Surveys show that TV viewing makes people unhappy and remorseful—but when has anyone ever felt anything but satisfied after finishing a classic?” First of all, a vast majority of Americans watch reality TV. Maybe I’m alone in this, but I’m not surprised that the result of throwing the trashiest people together in a confined space and filming it is leaving people feeling “unhappy and remorseful.”  For the love of all things holy, there are some supremely amazing works of media out there that have made a permanent impression upon me.  I’m not even limiting this to movies.  Have you seen the season four season finale of Dexter?  I mean holy shit! Or what about the Doctor Who episode with Vincent Van Gogh.  God, I nearly bawled watching that.

I disgress.

There are few “absolutes” in life, and ultimately when it comes to judging aesthetics it’s all subjective.  A dense book isn’t necessarily more relevant than a fluff book. They each have their purpose.  At least that’s my hippie perspective, and perhaps the perceived notion of superiority in Ms. Kelly’s manifesto is what rubs me the wrong way.  And really, I think what she should be implying is “slow books,” not “slow reading.” But even then, what constitutes a pleasant and lingering reading experience for one may not be the same for another.

To summarize, stop reading this blog post, you moron. Pick up a book.  A big one.  A big, thick, long one.

 

Aaannnnnddd…that’s what she said.

Book Smarts: Your Smut is Making You Dumb from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/

On the cusp of the “Fifty Frenzy,” I’ve pulled together a list of erotic romance stories that leave Fifty Shades of Grey in the dust.  There is some really amazing stuff out there, writing that should be in the spotlight for it’s beautifully crafted writing and imagination, writing that is original as well as gripping and poignant.  And sexy as hell.

If you found yourself enjoying E L James’ Fifty series, consider adding these to your To-Be-Read stack.

Dirty , Megan Hart: emotionally vacant woman struggles through her intense attraction to a man she meets in a candy store
Curio,  Cara McKenna : A woman pays a french model and prostitute to take her virginity
A Courtesan’s Guide to Getting Your Man , Celeste Bradley & Susan Donovan: this dual tale tells the story of two women in two different centuries embarking on discovering their sexuality
Sin , Sharon Page : Erotic illustrator enlists the help of a renowned rake to help her track down the courtesan blackmailing her
The Lady’s Tutor, Robin Schone : Women enlists help to educate herself in amorous acts in order to tempt back her husband
The Reluctant Nude , Meg Maguire: Woman poses for a nude sculpture and finds herself reluctantly captivated by the artist
Reckless, Anne Stuart: dark & tortured hero finds himself going from the seducer to the seduced
Master of the Mountain Cherise Sinclair: woman is taken under the wing of a Dom and finds herself exploring the BDSM world
Everything Forbidden, Jess Michaels : Regency woman bargains her virginity to a dom for three contractual months
Broken , Megan Hart : married woman fills the void of loneliness by listening to a stranger’s stories of sexual encounters

Life After Fifty: Ten Erotic Novels You Need to Read from The Raunch Dilettante: http://www.raunchdilettante.com/