Nicola An's Blog - Posts Tagged "wisdom"
23rd Year
Here's to 2 3 years of borrowing this lifetime-this exhilarating and whimsical school of life. 2 3 years of being lost only to be found. 2 3 years of dreaming illusions before waking up to truth cannot be revoked. 2 3 years of giving and to be given more than what is expected. 2 3 years of being too much of myself and to finally let go and surrender to emptiness grandly liberating. 2 3 years of holding back and now allowing what is necessary to be there. 2 3 years of constantly feeling different yet always easily creating home. 2 3 and many years of loving unconditionally. My dear Universe, earth is beautiful, I am deeply honored, bless all the souls with me here. Happy 23rd birthday to this human I am grateful to take care of very well. My Soul loves me so much, I am infinite!
Only Love only Light
-Nicola An
Only Love only Light
-Nicola An
"Cleaving"
Looking at old photographs, I feel entirely estranged from a familiar time. It’s like I was always borrowed by something against my will. Bleak skies and suffocating pitch-black walls I can picture out making me cringe. As I see myself now, a fresh painting with warm colors that every loving smile I wear can emulate the sight of the sun peeking at dawn, all those old photographs are such a distant,forgotten dream. Although I may ask again if we really do forget because after all,we’re made to live through our memories but just because we’re haunted doesn’t mean we should be scared.
Becoming isn’t about putting on a new self but rather, unveiling your true self. As far as being spiritually grown, I am well aware of what I was and what I still am. Sure, I have forgiven the ways I had punished myself and understood the wounds that had to teach me my biggest lessons, nights and mornings have gotten along well with me, still and serene in between and that I have learned to dance despite the unpleasant music I sometimes have to face, there come those moments when I feel awfully alone, I sit down with the same emotions calling me out as though the little devil that used to feed me lies is creeping up again, and yet for what must be a poking miracle, I can easily brush off that unwanted presence and see the brighter reality in a single blink. I know that I can be the old me and at the same time, different form that person.
You, recognizing the slave and the master in yourself can be achieved when you allow this awakening to take over all that you’ve ever been. There will always be an aching in you, hunger and loss will still greet you venomously that you may feel your past resurfacing-- this total relapse gobbling you bit by bit.
See? Like always, you fall and break but the good news is you don’t pick up those broken pieces anymore to collect and keep them but to immediately throw them away. You are both inside and outside of yourself, the one who breaks and the true Self that watches and patches up everything for you.
Remember this whenever you feel alone.
-Nicola An
Becoming isn’t about putting on a new self but rather, unveiling your true self. As far as being spiritually grown, I am well aware of what I was and what I still am. Sure, I have forgiven the ways I had punished myself and understood the wounds that had to teach me my biggest lessons, nights and mornings have gotten along well with me, still and serene in between and that I have learned to dance despite the unpleasant music I sometimes have to face, there come those moments when I feel awfully alone, I sit down with the same emotions calling me out as though the little devil that used to feed me lies is creeping up again, and yet for what must be a poking miracle, I can easily brush off that unwanted presence and see the brighter reality in a single blink. I know that I can be the old me and at the same time, different form that person.
You, recognizing the slave and the master in yourself can be achieved when you allow this awakening to take over all that you’ve ever been. There will always be an aching in you, hunger and loss will still greet you venomously that you may feel your past resurfacing-- this total relapse gobbling you bit by bit.
See? Like always, you fall and break but the good news is you don’t pick up those broken pieces anymore to collect and keep them but to immediately throw them away. You are both inside and outside of yourself, the one who breaks and the true Self that watches and patches up everything for you.
Remember this whenever you feel alone.
-Nicola An
Life Lesson from Books Part 1
"How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment"
-Eckhart Tolle
Life Lesson:
This is the most satisfying passage I’d come to read recently just in time when I had to hold so much patience just to simmer down since being angry was both inevitable and corrigible, but this always applies to every challenge and every self-defining moment, when you have to let go of what does not serve you right anymore, when you have to appreciate your flaws even though they constantly smudge your self-esteem, when you have to acknowledge the things you cannot change; and most of all, when you have to surrender everything to the Source because faith is all that you have to make everything work at the given Divine time. Instead of complaining or pretending you are perfectly doing fine, embrace this now with an open mind and brave heart, to accept that sometimes there is unhappiness and sometimes life is asking you to learn from the joy of small things and to be grateful for what you still have because that is exactly where you are needed. This is just a single step in this infinite path, you won’t stay there any longer because life is an everlasting flow.
07/24/‘19 Nicola An
-Eckhart Tolle
Life Lesson:
This is the most satisfying passage I’d come to read recently just in time when I had to hold so much patience just to simmer down since being angry was both inevitable and corrigible, but this always applies to every challenge and every self-defining moment, when you have to let go of what does not serve you right anymore, when you have to appreciate your flaws even though they constantly smudge your self-esteem, when you have to acknowledge the things you cannot change; and most of all, when you have to surrender everything to the Source because faith is all that you have to make everything work at the given Divine time. Instead of complaining or pretending you are perfectly doing fine, embrace this now with an open mind and brave heart, to accept that sometimes there is unhappiness and sometimes life is asking you to learn from the joy of small things and to be grateful for what you still have because that is exactly where you are needed. This is just a single step in this infinite path, you won’t stay there any longer because life is an everlasting flow.
07/24/‘19 Nicola An
