Kevin Sterling's Blog - Posts Tagged "caring"

You know something? I’ve been filled with love this week. So much so that I knew I had to write about it, despite whether it’s a manly subject or not. So, my friends, here we go.

For those who have never read my books or blog and aren’t aware of my undying adoration and respect for the fairer sex, it wouldn’t surprise me if a cursory check of my Facebook Page or my Jack Lazar Website gives you the impression I’m a sex fiend.

Okay, I get that. And it’s all right, not only because people are entitled to their own opinion, but because I’m actually quite fond of sex, thank you very much.

Still, the truth is that I’m brimming with love and romance when I write my female characters, and I truly become sad when I finish a book and have to part ways with them. Or, to be more accurate, when JACK parts ways with them. But in many respects, it’s the same thing. These characters all have personalities of their own, they often do things I never expect, and I adore all of them.

So, in reality, I’m a sappy, hopeless romantic. I’m all about kissing, cuddling, nonstop verbal foreplay, and holding hands. I often shed tears at movies and do my best to hide them in covert ways, but my girl always knows what I’m up to. Then again, she’s usually crying more than I am, so THERE.

But, let’s move on to the subject at hand: LOVE.

I rather like M. Scott Peck’s definitions of the various types of love in his book The Road Less Traveled . I agree that authentic love is not a “feeling”, and to truly love someone, you are devoted to their happiness, fulfillment and growth, spiritually and otherwise. Yet, despite Peck’s assertion that romantic love is not love at all, this article will focus on just that. Why? Because it’s fun and sexy. And it’s my article, after all.

Nevertheless, part of what makes romantic love really pop is both partners’ enthusiastic desire to take care of each other, foster growth, do sweet and unexpected things, and exercise self-denial from time to time in recognition of the other’s greater or more important needs and desires. I often say that people get out of a relationship what they put into it, and a partner who does nothing but “take” will find himself getting less and less from his mate, and ultimately nothing at all.

Indeed, true love is all about giving in every facet of the relationship. There’s also nothing more satisfying than giving, sometimes to the point where it almost feels selfish. That even (or perhaps particularly) applies to the physical act of love, as nothing makes a loving person more giddy with pleasure than providing and experiencing their partner’s physical bliss. Then, if their love is authentically shared, the favor is likely to be enthusiastically returned.

As you’re reading this, it may occur to you that many of my blogs about relationships (no, not the ones about chipmunks) have a common theme, which is my desire to encourage couples to shower each other with kindness, appreciation, thoughtfulness, special attention, unexpected treats, loving touch, messages of desire, lots of kisses — I could go on forever.

The point is: I understand how relationships can take a turn in the wrong direction sometimes, with one negative thing leading to another in a domino effect. Eventually, it gets to the point where no one has the emotional desire to take a step in the RIGHT direction anymore. But all it takes is a grand, loving gesture from one person to turn things the other way followed by one sweet act after another to keep it going. Love may not seem that simple at times, but it often is.

I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t rather be snuggling and making love than sitting on opposite ends of the couch or finding reasons not to come home. Instead, couples should miss each other and be vocal about it. You did get married to spend your lives together, right? Even better, they should be exchanging messages about what they’re going to do to each other when they get home. My imagination runneth amuck with the possibilities.

Isn’t there a naughty little outfit you purchased for just such an occasion?

Thought so.

Ciao, and have fun.