S.W. Wilcox's Blog

I wanted this to be an "A" like "Wonder Woman" and "Guardians of the Galaxy 2," but despite the raved-about CGI, there's just too many shortcomings. If 75% is the threshold for pass/fail, I would summarize it's a pass for 13 and under but a fail for older viewers than that, the theme of mercy being handled especially well for the youngsters.

Here's where I dock the points, keeping in mind the similar IMDB avg. score and expectations from the huge budget: (1) -5 points for the intro of the human villain Black Manta: just stupidly violent and full of nerve-grating yells of agony. Five writers let that get past their gatekeeping? (2) -5 again for on-the-nose references to things never shown--and almost impossible to even with a near-infinite budget--again how the frig did the five writers allow that nonsense? The kings float as they brag about wonders only to cut to blank response as a reaction, or the eldritch sea-demon brags and fact-drops one zinger after another...ugh, just no excuse for it. (3) Speaking of floating, in corny X-Men & Avenger tradition; the sea-kings float and jerk about as if dimestore puppets on a string, needing but to "will" their bodies to propel through the water, as if a minor leg push is beneath both their and our consideration--not to mention even basic laws of physics (dry heave and -5 again). (4) Next, the locations are poorly introduced and rely on yellow text labels that rarely work and are often downright painful to take in. So -5 there...being generous. (5) Then there are about 5 songs with $10 plastic drum tracks and/or caterwauling vocals that just KILL the film. Why isn't the singer from the end credit sequence featured throughout the film? She's mesmerizing.

So that's -25 not counting several times Aquaman's mumbled lines are indecipherable even on rewind and playback (with some lazy curse words too), or that awful "Fight Club" film reference that highlights the weak chemistry between the "Fishman" and the princess Mera. Lastly, one might expect some slack to be cut for the above infractions because the visuals are so darn crisp, but even these work against themselves at the climax, overwhelming with an overkill of detail that tries to cop the best beats of 10 other films in about a 3-minute span. (Hmm, in rough order: "Tron Legacy", "Resident Evil 5", "Starship Troopers", "Pacific Rim", "Ender's Game", "War of the Worlds", "The Matrix 3", The Hobbit", "Hellboy", and even "Jumanji". --A film is supposed to mash-up TWO main influences, NOT TWENTY+!) So I agree with the IMDB score of 71% as dead-on. In sum: hire a few more consultants and the sequel could SO easily be improved (email me, I'm available).

Hmm, “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter”...a fizzle I’m afraid. And that’s from a viewer who became a fan of the series, although slowly, for its daring to be visually unique for each of the films, six in total now. And the length of the series itself is notable too: normal for slasher-horror, but not so much for horror that crosses-over into sci-fi/fantasy. The exemplars there being “Alien,” “Terminator,” “Underworld,” “Twilight” — even “Star Wars” and “Lord of the Rings” with their ties to Hammer horror thru actors Peter Cushing & Christopher Lee. Thus I will devote a double-length review to this series.

For the underwhelming final cut, I can only guess and sympathize that writer / director Paul W.S. Anderson, and husband to then-pregnant lead-actress Milla Jovovich, was too distracted & exhausted to deliver his best, and perhaps relied on some ghost writer / directors. And I only write this review for love of the film genre, to recommend any of the other films over this as a first impression; and also to say I found the Rotten Tomatoes reviews too vague to be convincing, and in the end kinda wasted the $5 rental fee to have a personal looksee.

So keeping with habit, let me carefully rationalize where I deduct critical points, revising as I give this belated-Halloween-season movie a 2nd view in my darkened living room. (So as to not neglect the possible grow-on-me factor.)

The first ten minutes were a bit irritating in that, no less than four times, some vague CGI ghoul ambushed the viewer by popping onscreen (or implying to) to a sound-stab some 4x louder than the background wind or voicework (causing my upstairs neighbors to stomp in quiet protest.) “This has to get better” I groaned...even the 3rd film “Extinction” started objectionably to me, but got better quickly. And since I stuck around I have to say it must not have earned less than say a 12 point deduction off the bat, 3 per ambush. But "excellent" was surely already out as a fair description.

Then, in the midst of two more ambushes, this time from fugitive humans that heroine Project Alice (and her sisters) is supposed to be in alliance with (with minor twists), I concluded the intro felt rushed and dragged at the same time, and didn’t pick-up fairly from the SPECTACULAR cliffhanger of the prior, 5th, film. And that cliffhanger, along with the overall puzzlebox plot of the series, was the main reason I wanted to see the saga’s conclusion. About this time, the actors playing the Red Queen Computer and the evil doctor were already coming across with performances subpar to their earlier parts in the series. So deduct another 15 points, 3 per “infraction,” lol, and by the end of Act 1, we’re sadly already at 73 of 100, or a C –.

So I stuck around for mere scholastic research. And then I begin to notice, especially with the dogs, that all the creatures have so far either been blurrily CGI’d or look like wax-melts from a cheap haunted house. With one arguable exception at the start, more of a Harryhausen-claymation-puppet, there’s NOT ONE DECENT creature design in the whole film. What??? Darn, how much would you penalize your review for that infraction of the series’ legacy alone? Say you’re generous — or welcome some “Army of Darkness” campiness and jerky movement — and you only deduct 10, that still lowers the score to 63 or D –.

Unfortunately, there’s this “Willy Wonka” spinning fan & bad-egg spiderhole drop, set to this weird orchestral music totally at odds with both this and all the other films. I thought this franchise was anti-kiddie-Disney, an “Alice in Techno-Gothic Wonderland,” rather than “Wonkaville,”...or even the “Pinocchioville” later hinted at. Yikes! Sorry but that groupthink-meddling costs another 7 points for 56 of 100, a solid F.

And there’s at least two other big problems besides those I can’t greatly detail, for spoiler reasons. I should at least hint though, that the ultra-sexy co-star who “makes” the 4th film reappears to totally underwritten effect. And when the sexy female co-stars of film 1 & 2 were reprised in film 5 to such stunning effect, viewers both want and deserve so much more than what we’re given in this finale. Then there’s the midpoint fight-on-the highway-vehicle-fight so subpar to “The Matrix 2,” “T2,” and even the similarly low-budget “Mad Max 2,” that I KNOW I’m not being unfair or cranky. So –6 = 50 of 100.

Perhaps I rushed the critique of the Red Queen Computer and Dr. Isaacs though. Squirmingly longwinded and clichéd dialogue for sure, but what I first pegged as something that might turn away new series, and marginal moviegoer, -viewers might have been tested and rewritten to do the opposite. —Rewritten, that is, to make sure the storyline and motivations were clear in an otherwise very erratic plot. I should also mention the positive trademarks of the film are mostly there too: furious combat and explosions, the laser-death-grid, and of course the ominous line “You’re all going to die down here.” But right now I‘m at 2.5 of 5 stars, which is the precise average of the scores at IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, & Metacritic. So I should let that verdict rest.

My conclusion would be to watch/rewatch any of the other prior films instead of renting this one. And it’ll be free on TV soon, for those who demand at least seeing how Alice concludes her fight with the terrible T-Virus and Umbrella Corporation.

And speaking of rewatch, some recent films not fairly applauded I’d also belatedly recommend are “World of Warcraft” for EXTRAORDINARY CGI CREATURES, “Project Almanac” for YA sci-fi, and “Terminator: Genisys” and “Divergent: Allegiant” for dystopian sci-fi, “Terminator: Genisys” the best overall of the above batch, imo. And it’s such a better film too, even though like “RE 6” it only made half its budget back in the USA, they both still profited by a not-too-shabby $260mil.+ including worldwide sales. And whether “T5” gets rented a lot this summer will likely determine whether parts 2 & 3 get made. And they so deserve to be made. Otherwise, we’ll just get more “Robocop” dreck in its place, you can bet.

2.5 of 5 stars.

Resident Evil: GenesisResident Evil: Genesis

Saw “Wonder Woman” and “Guardians of the Galaxy 2” back-to-back, and what a great time. Best films of the summer so far, even better than “Kong: Skull Island,” the clunkers for me being “King Arthur,” “Power Rangers,” & “Pirates”? And that leaves the so-so (based on the trailers) remainders of “Alien Covenant,” "Spider Man," & “The Mummy.” (I can’t wait for “Pacific Rim 2” next year.)

“GG 2” was simply flawless -- fixing the often undermotivated violence & swearing of the first film -- so let me instead share an informative, fast review of “Wonder Woman.”

So, here’s where I take 8 points from “Wonder Woman” -- still leaving a 92 for an A–, or 4.6 stars.

The biggest drag is the Amazonian island, which after several generations since the character’s creation, still feels forced and a bit phoney. Worst is young Diana Prince falling from a balcony with an awkward rotoscope. But I’d guess that shot was partly the fault of the 3-d aesthetic, which otherwise is amazing throughout, especially during the fight scenes. – 5 of 100 points.

Also early on is an awkwardly animated “birth of the gods” which is not even done as well as “Percy Jackson” or “HellBoy 2” and feels kinda cheap like “Lady in the Water.” – 2 of 100 points.

Lastly, Chris Pine’s multi-colored hairdoo looks so vain and out-of-place, it threatens the period realism every time it’s shown in full light, lol. He’s good in his role though. – 1 of 100 points.

I also want to share the hilarious commentary of the three grade-school-aged girls in the row behind me. It was both like “Mystery Science Theater 3000” with humans rather that robot-puppets, and also shows that the current trend to dumb things down is nonsense. These kids were about ages 5 through 7, and caught every point just fine.

“I’m SO excited....so that’s where the gods and people came from....wow, she’s strong....and brave....her dress is pretty....her shield is magic, and her whip too ....[tons of musical laughs] they’re not going to kiss? Oh no I can’t watch!....haha, she’s gonna steal her dress....scary, wow!....don’t leave your sword stuck in the ground....Neato! Loved it! Hooray.”

And that my friends, is how you make a summer blockbuster for kids from 5 to 95. And the themes of love and faith are exquisitely done too, which you rarely get from any film, let alone one based on a comic book. Bravo, DC, now let’s make the next ones this good.

4.6 of 5 stars.

Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman: Trinity

So I saw “Allegiant” & “10 Cloverfield Lane” back-to-back today, as Rotten Tomatoes’ polarized reviews posed a challenge. In brief, I give them both A’s, but the polarity is intriguing as the first is philosophic action while the other is psychological tension. And usually Jules Verne-type futurism is applauded over Poe-esque murder puzzles –- but “10 C. Lane” does have a strong dose of H.G. Wells to be safe, lol.

Anyhow, here’s where I take 10 points from “Allegiant” -- still leaving a 90 for an A-, or 4.5 stars.

First, 3 points off for on-the-nose dialog which tries to mask itself with humorous irony. Nope, despite those college 101/102 logic and writing courses which champion irony as supreme wit, film says “no way.” Unless we see a missile or craft heading toward the Earth-globe, saying “the whole world” knocks-out scene-believability as sure as a Mike Tyson punch.

Take 4 more points off for some clumsy body shots. In the case of the lead Tris, one shot especially accentuates her late-teen gawkiness, while another overcompensates with a too-perfect-nude-silhouette-body-double. Actress Woodley is mesmerizing despite this, as usual, so again just one point off for those, reminding me of the airbrushed rear of Julia Roberts on the “Pretty Woman” poster. The other is when flying (two of those, actually), but that gets into spoilers.

Lastly, there’s 2 overly-violent fight scenes that, like most of late, just plain fall flat of what master Bruce Lee was doing effortlessly some 40 years ago. And oh yes, no brilliant soundtrack at the end like in Part 2, “Insurgent.” Except for one ok song, we just get some phoned-in synth pads…. Well at least that’s better than the pitiful techno-pop at the end of Part 1’s credit reel. Hopefully we’ll get the great music back for the 4th, final film.

And oh yes, Watts acts circles around former villain Winslet. And for all the phony reviews out there about “clichéd filler,” no we do NOT need to see NY leveled for the umpteenth time (esp. in a Jeep ad). Hell, the falling bridge scenes in the new “X-Men” trailer looks lifted right from Nolan’s “The Dark Knight Rises.” Leave Britney alone? Leave NY the f’ alone!

4.5 of 5 stars.



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