Stephen Snyder
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Baltimore, MD, The United States
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Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Lasting Relationship
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published
2018
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6 editions
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“The main reason a man needs to get hard is so he won’t have to worry about getting hard. Having an erection is no guarantee that he’ll enjoy himself. But if he doesn’t have one, there’s not much chance he’ll remember the experience fondly.”
― Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
― Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
“She also needs to know that her body is giving you pleasure.”
― Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
― Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
“But it feels so terrible to lose arousal like that.” No, I think to myself. Loss of arousal doesn’t by itself feel terrible. Frustrating, certainly. Disappointing, without question. But “terrible” is one of those over-the-top words that to a therapist signals we’re dealing with something else.”
― Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
― Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship
Topics Mentioning This Author
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| Making Connections: 5319. - LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship by Stephen Snyder | 1 | 12 | Jun 27, 2018 04:41PM |
“This is not a conventional “how-to” book. It contains no exercises, and it has few formulas saying “first do this, then do that.”
This is intentional. As we’ll see later, eros doesn’t like to be told what to do. If you set a goal, your sexual mind will be happy to reject it. It’s kind of childish and brilliant that way.
You also won’t find much about sexual biology or neurochemistry on these pages. Sex books these days tend to be full of advice for “boosting your dopamine”—or your oxytocin, or some other such nonsense. In all my 30 years as a sex therapist, I’ve yet to see a dopamine molecule walk into my office. We’ll stick with things you can see and feel yourself, without needing a laboratory.
I’ll also spare you the body diagrams. You already know what a penis and vagina look like, right? And we won’t discuss how many neurons are concentrated in your clitoris. It’s an impressive number, but who really cares?
There are a few great sex books already out there, and I’ll point them out to you as we go along. But reading most of the others is like gnawing on dry bones. As my friend and colleague Paul Joannides, the author of Guide to Getting it On (one of the aforementioned great ones), has accurately noted, “the trouble with most books on sex is they don’t get anyone hard or wet.”
This book is not intended to get you hard or wet. But it’s meant not to get in your way either. The chapters are short, so you can read them even if you get a little distracted. Hey, I hope you get a little distracted.
There are no lists to memorize, and there won’t be a test afterwards. We’re dealing with a part of the human mind that hasn’t gone to school yet, and never will.
Any questions?
OK, let’s get started . . .
Adapted from LOVE WORTH MAKING by Stephen Snyder, M.D. Copyright © 2018 by the author and reprinted with permission of St. Martin’s Press, LLC.”
―
This is intentional. As we’ll see later, eros doesn’t like to be told what to do. If you set a goal, your sexual mind will be happy to reject it. It’s kind of childish and brilliant that way.
You also won’t find much about sexual biology or neurochemistry on these pages. Sex books these days tend to be full of advice for “boosting your dopamine”—or your oxytocin, or some other such nonsense. In all my 30 years as a sex therapist, I’ve yet to see a dopamine molecule walk into my office. We’ll stick with things you can see and feel yourself, without needing a laboratory.
I’ll also spare you the body diagrams. You already know what a penis and vagina look like, right? And we won’t discuss how many neurons are concentrated in your clitoris. It’s an impressive number, but who really cares?
There are a few great sex books already out there, and I’ll point them out to you as we go along. But reading most of the others is like gnawing on dry bones. As my friend and colleague Paul Joannides, the author of Guide to Getting it On (one of the aforementioned great ones), has accurately noted, “the trouble with most books on sex is they don’t get anyone hard or wet.”
This book is not intended to get you hard or wet. But it’s meant not to get in your way either. The chapters are short, so you can read them even if you get a little distracted. Hey, I hope you get a little distracted.
There are no lists to memorize, and there won’t be a test afterwards. We’re dealing with a part of the human mind that hasn’t gone to school yet, and never will.
Any questions?
OK, let’s get started . . .
Adapted from LOVE WORTH MAKING by Stephen Snyder, M.D. Copyright © 2018 by the author and reprinted with permission of St. Martin’s Press, LLC.”
―
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