Roger K. Allen's Blog

This is the week of Thanksgiving throughout the Americas, a holiday built around gratitude. We gather with family and friends, share a meal, and—often in a circle before dinner—take turns saying what we’re grateful for. It’s a pleasant ritual, but it can also be quick and sometimes superficial. Many of us mention blessings like health, home, or opportunities, but rarely do we express our gratitude for the people sitting right beside us in a way that truly touches their hearts.

This year, I invi...

As the holidays approach, I find myself reflecting on why this season matters so much to me. It’s not simply the decorations or traditions—although I enjoy these. It’s something quieter, deeper, more human.

The holidays invite us to pause. To breathe. To remember who and what matters most. And perhaps, most importantly, to reconnect with the people who matter in our lives—our spouses, children, extended families, and closest friends.

We live in a world that moves quickly and demands a lot. Yet ...

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When Tom and Laura met, something clicked instantly. Their first date stretched for hours as they talked over coffee, walked by the river, and found themselves laughing like old friends. For weeks afterward, they called and texted each other constantly, stayed up late, and told friends they’d “never felt anything like this before.”

Tom was captivated by Laura’s warmth and spontaneity. She brought color and energy to his careful, measured life. Laura adored Tom’s steadiness and kindness; he made...

I read a lot. Although I love fiction, most of my reading is on self-help and spiritual topics. I’m intrigued by books related to personal and relationship development. And sometimes I notice myself going from one great book to another without allowing time to fully digest what I’m reading. Although I’ve found great value in acquiring a broad perspective, I sometimes wonder if I’d be better off slowing down, reading less, pondering more, and giving myself time to integrate new wisdom into my da...

“It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.”  Anthony de Mello

I think you would agree that we live in an increasingly stressful world in which the uncertainties of life never seem to let up. As if the challenges of day-to-day living were not enough, many of us are dealing with financial uncertainty (inflation, housing costs, debt), job insecurity, political/social polarization, global instability, news and information overload, and so on.

It’s a lot to worry about and adds ...

We all experience negative emotion. It is a natural part of life. Not only would our lives be boring without the ups and downs of our emotions, but negative emotions are how we learn and grow and become better, stronger human beings.

Think about this. Without experiences that trigger such feelings as fear, hurt, loneliness, anger, depression, and inadequacy, we would live in a world devoid of the qualities of character that we consider most noble—courage, determination, fortitude, faith, hope, ...

Most of us try to avoid sadness. When we feel low or down, we tend to distract ourselves or push those feelings away. But neuroscience shows that allowing yourself to feel sadness—rather than avoiding it—can actually support your recovery from depression and negative moods. This process is crucial when healing from depression.

Psychologists Norman Farb and Zindel Segal studied 166 people who had recovered from depression. Over two years, they found that ...

In my last post, I talked about using affirming statements as a way of uplifting others, boosting motivation, and reinforcing desired behaviors. My experience is that well-chosen words can have an immediate and lasting impact. I now want to go one step further by sharing the skill of affirming others, specific steps that will make your affirmations all the more powerful.

Of course, there are many ways we affirm others, many nonverbal. Smiling, showing respect, being willing...

We all want to feel seen and valued. At our core, we long to know that we matter—that our actions, presence, and efforts are recognized by others. One of the most powerful ways to meet this need is through the skill of affirming others: recognizing people for their contributions, character, or efforts in a sincere and specific way.

Affirming others isn’t just about being nice. Done well, it can uplift a person’s sense of worth, boost motivation, and reinforce positive behavior. A few well-chose...