Iris van Ooyen's Blog: Radiant

What would you do if you suddenly had a day off?

Recently I had a full day meeting planned with peers but it was canceled because the host was sick. So I suddenly had a day off. Guess what I (and the others) did? Yep, catching up on work. Granted, I took things slower and stopped earlier but I didn’t take the day off.

There’s nothing wrong with catching up on work but ideally it should be a conscious choice, not automatic. For so many of us prioritizing work is a default state and when that’s th...

Losing touch with ourselves is more common than you might think. As I shared earlier, I lost touch with myself but it happened so gradually, so sneakily, that I didn’t notice until a series of wake-up calls showed me how far I had drifted from my true self.

I want you to catch this earlier so here are five crucial indicators that you’ve lost touch with yourself:

Someone asks you to do something and while you think Oh please no, you hear yourself ...

Two weeks ago I shared a very personal story about losing myself and how I found my way back. I mentioned the breakthrough that helped me realize that “Coming home to yourself” is the foundation of everything I do in my private mentoring and online programs.

Many of you reached out saying how helpful and insightful that article was. That you recognized yourself in my story.

“I had a similar experience, losing part of myself to what people expect me to be. Thanks for sharing this!”

“Looking forwa...

I heard myself say, “I can’t think about that right now.” There were what felt like a million things vying for my attention and when my mother asked what time I would be there for dinner I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to come up with an answer. So I told her I would get back to her the next day.

If you’ve experienced something similar, then let me reassure you. There’s nothing wrong with us—it’s simply an effect of how our brain works under stress.

Stress levels ar...

How do you lose yourself?

Not all at once. Not in one dramatic moment.

You lose yourself one decision, one step at a time—every instance you say “yes” when you mean “no”. Every moment you take care of everyone else at your own expense. Every time you push through when your body is already exhausted.

That’s how we lose touch with who we truly are — how we drift away from our natural rhythm and inner truth.

I know because I lost myself this way. I had everything I thought I wanted—and I was comple...

When I have a new idea, I tend to run with it. I need to stop myself when I’m writing new website copy—like I was doing last week. I’m so in the zone that I simply lose track of time. I forget to take breaks and end up eating way too late in the evening.

In the past I did too much because I was perfectionistic and I had a high sense of responsibility. I wanted to make sure everything worked out perfectly and I was simply trying to keep too many plates spinning at the same time. That’s how I got ...

Last week I described that something was feeling off. Nothing felt right—like I didn’t fit in my own skin. And I gave myself permission to just be—without needing to fix anything.

I often feel like this when I’m in transition. When things are shifting or changing or when I’m transforming into a new level of something. I don’t yet know what that shift is but I do feel that change is in the air.

What I realized is that I was in what I call ‘No Man’s Land’. You’ve likely felt this in between phase ...

Sometimes nothing feels right. There isn’t necessarily anything specifically wrong either, but you feel like you don’t fit in your own skin. That’s how I’m feeling right now.

I can’t yet place a finger on what’s off—and I don’t need to. All that’s required right now is giving myself space to be.

It’s okay to be lost. To feel alone or adrift. You don’t always need to have the answers or solution. Sometimes being present with what you feel is enough. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

That’s it.

Her...

In this world where we’re always busy and running towards the next thing—checking things off our to-do list—we need to remember to take a moment to stand still. To take in the world. To enjoy where we’re at, what we’re doing and who we are with.

I know, when you’re super busy, pausing may feel like the last thing you’ll want to do. Or it may feel like a perk. But it’s essential. Here are five reasons why standing still is not only enjoyable but important.

In this world where we’re always busy and running towards the next thing—checking things off our to-do list—we need to remember to take a moment to stand still. To take in the world. To enjoy where we’re at, what we’re doing and who we are with.

I know, when you’re super busy, pausing may feel like the last thing you’ll want to do. Or it may feel like a perk. But it’s essential. Here are five reasons why standing still is not only enjoyable but important.